34-year-old husband tasked with watching his kids for 20 minutes while his wife makes dinner, chaos ensues: 'I do this all day by myself AND work'

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  • "[Am I wrong] for making my husband solo parent for 30 mins a day?"

    A father laughing on the floor with his kid.
  • I just want to preface that my husband is aware I'm making this post. We're not at each others throats about this, but we're definitely not in agreement.
  • So I'm 30F and he's 34m, we have two kids, 1 and 2 years old. I work from home part time, 12pm-5:30pm Monday through Friday. I also watch our two kids. In the morning they get all my attention, and it's not too bad, but in
  • the afternoons after their naps when I'm trying to work, keeps them entertained and taken care of it's quite difficult. We're actively working on a different solution, but this is what we have to do now. My husband comes home right around 5:30 when I get off,
  • and I immediately start getting dinner ready. I hate laundry and he hates cooking so we have an agreement that I do all the cooking and he does all the laundry and I don't mind at all. The only thing I ask is for him to watch the kids and keep them out of the kitchen
  • for 20-30 mins while I get dinner ready for us all. It's always a struggle for him, and I know he's tired after working all day too, but I really need to be able keep them out so they're safe and I can get it done. He usually asks for help, when one is fussing or he has to go to the bathroom or whatever. Tonight, I was in the middle of cooking,
  • hands dirty, stove and oven on, and he asked if I could help change one of the kids while he held the other cause he was being fussy. I told him no, that I do this all day by myself AND work, and all I need is 20 minutes to cook for everyone. He got really upset at this saying that's not fair cause I am home
  • now and I can stop for 5 minutes to help. I finally caved and helped but I feel like it's not that much to ask for 20-30 minutes to cook.
  • I want to add that any other time we're both home we work together letting each other have breaks, time to relax, and both help play and take care of them, the care is very evenly split when we're both home. So AITAH for initially refusing to help my husband with our kids while trying to cook?
  • A man sits next to his young daughter while sitting on the floor.
  • bippityboppitynope 14h ago • NTA. He can handle his own children for 30 minutes. Holy h I the weaponized incompetence. He should be embarrassed.
  • thesweeterpeter 14h ago . ΝΤΑ That's not solo parenting. Thats just parenting. It sounds like he leaves you with the kids a h I of a lot more than 30 mins a day
  • messy tuxedo cat 14h ago . NTA, It's literally a half hour. What kind of self-respecting parent can't manage their own kids for a few minutes unassisted.
  • He can learn how to get them to settle or deal with a half hour of fussing he has to go to the bathroom Why not go to the bathroom right when he gets home so he's in good shape to do his part?
  • These issues are all things that teenage babysitters manage to navigate, I think a 34 year old can figure it out so your kids aren't underfoot while you're trying to cook the whole family dinner. If he needs 20-30 minutes to fold laundry, you can return the favor.
  • Bubbly_Chicken_9358 14h ago NTA. Those are his kids, too. It s ks to parent two tiny kids simultaneously by yourself. Sometimes parenting s ks, and he needs to be a full parent, not a helper.
  • You need to start taking some Saturdays away from your family, leaving your husband alone with the kids. He needs to get comfortable with parenting--and to understand how insane it is that you're doing it WHILE working.

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