'So I can stay as long as I want': 28-year-old goth-music fan declines carpooling suggestion, choosing to attend rock concert solo, after his friend previously demanded to leave the last show early, causing tension among friend group

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Emma Saven
Sep 16, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Carpooling is both extremely efficient and equally complicated. Because when you agree to be the 'carpool driver', it simultaneously means you are agreeing to being unrequitedly committed to everyone else, oftentimes regardless of your own wants. You know, when they said, Nice guys always finish last, we think this is what they meant…

This generous friend is always happy to help out, not just because he's a logical guy and understands spiking gas prices, but also because he's just a generally decent friend. So when his friend asked to carpool with him to a concert, he was more than happy to open up the front seat. Until thirty minutes into the show, his friend decided the vibe 'wasn't for him' and demanded (with a smile) that they leave early. So understandably, as the next rock concert is approaching, he decides to drive solo, so that he is not 'indebted' to anyone by offering up his car as the only form of transportation to and fro. Fair enough? We think so, however, his friends don't seem to agree…

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  • We’re pretty sure that when your friends are doing you a favor, it is only fair to respect their requests, especially if they are blatantly reasonable. This guy paid for his ticket, he deserves to be able to enjoy the full show, instead of being guilt-tripped by his friends into leaving. Because if they can’t commit to wanting to stay for a whole concert, then they should plan their own ride home without him. I’m sure that will keep the peace, a lot more than sulking in the backseat would.


     

  • 01
    "I'm purposely not putting my car up as the carpool vehicle"
    via minervastudio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    WIBTA if I declined to carpool to a concert.

    Hey everyone (28 m here), kind of a small one here id think, but just questioning for my own thoughts. I am planning on going to a small
    via no1survivesparadise
  • 03
    venue concert next week to see a band that I'm into. I went there before with a friend that I invited and he ended up needing to
    via no1survivesparadise
  • 04
    carpool along. At first I didnt think anything of it and said sure. This friend really didnt like the vibe of the show or the culture of
    via no1survivesparadise
  • 05
    it. (The show was a dj playing loads of goth and punk rock music. Think of it like a full blown goth night club vibe.) Because of
    via no1survivesparadise
  • 06
    this I had to leave and take him home early and miss out on the rest of the night. The same venue is having another show with a
    via no1survivesparadise
  • 07
    goth rock band that I'm into. I did tell a few people about it and they're also thinking of going, but I'm purposely not putting my car up as the carpool vehicle. I'm
    via no1survivesparadise
  • 08
    going on my own accord so I can stay as long as I want to. I usually stay for whole shows myself. If I'm paying for a show and its also one I want to see I dont see any reason to leave till its over.
    via no1survivesparadise
  • 09
    A few of these people have since stated that I'm being a bit selfish because I'm not willing to give multiple people rides, and I told
    via no1survivesparadise
  • 10
    A crowded concert
    via mahecharpentier

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    them that its nothing personal | just dont want to deal with the same issue as last time and a few before. I dont want to miss out on
    via no1survivesparadise
  • 12
    an event that I wanted to see and just want to have a good time. I also dont want the opinion of someone in the group to ruin the
    via no1survivesparadise
  • 13
    night for me. What do you guys think. I can give more deets below if you feel ive missed anything.
    via no1survivesparadise
  • 14
    Valkrhae NTA. But it does kind of sound like you think this is your only option. You can offer to drive ppl there and back and just make it clear that you won't be leaving early, so if anyone wants a ride but wants to leave early, they'll have to find other accommodations back home. That said, if you just want to avoid all that, you're totally fine just driving by yourself.
    via Valkrhae
  • 15
    Wild Ticket1413 NTA. You're not obligated to be the driver for the group or to ride with anyone to an event. When you carpool, you're at the mercy of the group. If they want to leave early, it forces you to leave early. If they want to stay out late and you
    via Wild_Ticket1413
  • 16
    don't, you're sort of stuck there. Wanting to drive yourself so you can leave on your own timeline is a perfectly valid reason to decline to carpool. Especially when you're going to a show that you're paying to attend, and want to get the full value for your tickets.
    via Wild_Ticket1413
  • 17
    Tell your friends, "sorry, but I'm going to drive myself." You can also say something to the effect of "I know John and Bill are also thinking of going, Maybe you guys can ride together?"
    via Wild_Ticket1413
  • 18
    People leaving a festival
    via vitalina

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    uncommonbreeddogmom NTA. For everyone saying to make his leave time clear, people whining at him to change his mind or sulking the whole way back will ruin the night.
    via uncommonbreeddogmom
  • 20
    abilliontwo Mild ESH. Does nobody else have a vehicle for carpooling? If they do, it shouldn't matter that you're going separately. One of them can take on the responsibility of transporting everyone to and fro.
    via abilliontwo
  • 21
    Regardless, you could also just offer up your car, but make it crystal clear: "I will not be leaving until the end of the show. If anybody decides they want to leave the show before the end, they will need to find their own way back."
    via abilliontwo
  • 22
    Kami_Sang NTA You bought your car for you, not to - make everyone else's life easier at your inconvenience.
    via Kami_Sang
  • 23
    BlondDee1970 NTA. If you do choose to carpool just say that last time your friend made you leave early - and make it clear that's not happening again. Set boundaries and enforce them. If people want to leave early or stay late tell them they can find a ride back themselves.
    via BlondDee1970
  • 24
    CrankyWife NTA. Always drive your own getaway car.
    via CrankyWife
  • 25
    catsaway9 NAH. It's fine for them to ask, but it's also fine for you to say no If you were to give rides, you should make it clear that any riders leave when the driver leaves - no complaints, no guilt trips
    via catsaway9

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shows failblog carpool car rushing Awkward concert carpooling friends askreddit reddit story leaving early driver waste of money on-my-time entitled tickets audience entitled people
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