It's funny how parents change the minute they become grandparents.
Sure, everyone talks about baby fever when you're developing a desire to start a family, and that's a legitimate feeling many people have. However, not enough people talk about the intense feelings and even more intense pressure future grandparents develop when they feel it's time for their kids to have children of their own.
This is not to say that grandparents aren't incredibly useful during those early years of parenting. So many young parents these days are heavily reliant on that support, especially due to challenging financial constraints. However, the ability for grandparents to be present and to become extra caretakers does not give them the ability to assert demands on their children, especially when it comes to whether or not they elect to start families and when.
In this case, the grandparent in question was way worse than your average one. She was estranged from her daughter for over two decades, yet as soon as she heard that there was a grandchild in the picture, she felt entitled to step in and get involved. Of course, this was emotionally overwhelming for her daughter, who literally had not seen her mother in 20 years. Now, all of a sudden, she wants to be a present grandparent after not being a present parent?! We cannot help but empathize with the author's decision-making here, even though numerous other family members have started to pressure her to reconsider.
Several members of this online community weighed in with tips and reactions to the author's predicament. We think she should confront her other family members and let it be known that she does not want their unsolicited advice on the matter. In fact, their inability to understand the author's perspective on the matter just goes to show that they have a confused idea of support and mutual respect. If the author does not want her mother to re-enter her life after all the hurt she had inflicted from years prior, that's her right, and the other family members should know to respect her decision without judgment and without any "ifs, ands, or buts." After all, it's not their relationship, and it's not their newborn daughter either!
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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