'I just want to do what's best for him even if it means having to say goodbye': Pawrents struggle over whether to adopt stray balcony cat of 6 years when they move or leave him where he's comfortable

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Sep 21, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

This whiskered tale is full of heartstrings and pawsitivity. Over six years ago, a scrappy little balcony bandit started showing up outside this couple's apartment. What began as the occasional food drop quickly turned into a full-on routine with daily meals, a cardboard bed, and eventually a deluxe cat condo. They even gave him a name. And let's face it, once you're naming a cat, you're owned.

When they moved within the same complex, the couple worried he wouldn't follow. But like any good feline GPS, he padded right back to their balcony, happily reclaiming his turf. For four years, he's been their unofficial third cat. Independent, elusive, and master of the midnight door-scratch.

Now, with another move looming, the claws are out on what to do next. One partner wants to scoop him up and bring him along, while the other worries he won't adapt and could wind up lost or worse. It's a classic case of cattitude vs. comfort zone. Whatever they decide, it's clear this balcony buddy has left permanent paw prints on their hearts.

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  • 01
    'I want to try to take him because I've gotten so attached to him'
    via PhotosignPhotography / Canva

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  • 02
    I have to include the full background but I'll try to not make it too long. A little over 6 years ago my wife and I moved to an apartment. Not long after, we started noticing this cat hanging around outside our balcony. My wife eventually started leaving food out for him since he didn't seem to belong to anyone. She
    via FelineFather330
  • 03
    also put a piece of cardboard on the ground for him to sleep which he started using. This quickly went from leaving food out every once in a while to feeding him every day. He basically started to live on our balcony. He would go explore during the day but was on our balcony most of the time
    via FelineFather330
  • 04
    and slept there pretty much every day. He started scratching on our sliding glass door every night for food. Bringing him inside was never an option because we have 2 indoor cats already but we kept feeding him and eventually even bought him a small cat home so he wouldn't get wet when it rained on our balcony and we even named him just to make it easier to talk about him.
    via FelineFather330
  • 05
    About 2 years later we needed to upgrade our apartment so we were going to move to a bigger one in the same complex. It was about 60 feet away from our old one. When it was time for us to move I tried everything to get him into the cat carrier but he wouldn't go in. He's gotten near
    via FelineFather330
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    Cheezburger Image 10556208384
    via Armastas / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    us and has let us touch him on rare occasions but if we ever tried to grab him, he'll swat at us and try to scratch us. Nothing worked, treats, food, gently pushing him, etc. Eventually I decided just to take his house and food bowls with us and hope he'd find the new balcony. I even
    via FelineFather330
  • 08
    talked to the new people at my old apartment and asked them to ignore him if he came scratching. Well it worked, a couple weeks after we moved, he showed up on our balcony eating his food and slept in his house.
    via FelineFather330
  • 09
    It's been that way for over 4 years until now. We have to move to a different apartment complex altogether that's pretty far from the one we live at now. My wife and I can't agree on what to do with him. I want to try to take him because I've gotten so attached to him and basically view him as my 3rd cat. I also worry that if we
    via FelineFather330
  • 10
    leave him, he's going to be so lost and confused when he goes to his balcony and finds no food, no house, nobody answering when he scratches at the door. It breaks my heart just thinking about it since I know he won't understand. My wife's perspective is that this apartment complex is his home. She's
    via FelineFather330
  • 11
    worried that even if we do manage to get him in the carrier, that he'll freak out at the new complex and run away not know where to go. Also, our current complex has lots of stray cats roaming around but the new one has none (it's a pretty nice luxury complex). She thinks he'll find
    via FelineFather330
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    food since people regularly put it out but I'm scared he's gotten to used to being fed by us everyday. We're also worried if they saw him at our new complex they would call animal control and he'd end up locked away in a shelter.
    via FelineFather330
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    Cheezburger Image 10556208896
    via dimaberlinphotos / Canva

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  • 14
    I honestly don't know what to do. I just want to do what's best for him even if it means having to say goodbye. Sorry for the long post, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
    via FelineFather330
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    SolidFelidae Please bring him with you as an indoor pet. He'll have the best chance at a happy, healthy, safe life that way.
    via SolidFelidae

  • It might be time to bring him indoors and make him a full-fledged family member. Your two cats could gain a new sibling, and he’d finally have the safe, loving home he deserves.

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    KitMacPhersonWri... The complex WAS his home, but it sounds like now you're his home. Take that sweet baby with you and make him an indoor cat! Do NOT take him to a strange location and leave him to fend for himself outside.
    via KitMacPhersonWrites
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    NIzrael If he's your buddy, be a buddy. Get him de-flea'd, wormed, and checked out at the vet, and bring him indoors. The move might be stressful with your existing indoor cats, but the best time to introduce cats is during a move, as none of them will have claimed territory in the new place to get territorial about.
    via NIzrael
  • 18
    Creative-Mousse If he's been depending on you daily for years, he's no longer just a stray. He's your outdoor cat. He is not fending for food out on the streets anymore. Leaving him to do that would be cruel.
    via Creative-Mousse

  • After all these years, you two have really become his home. No matter how independent he seems, it’ll be so hard to leave him behind after building that bond together.

  • 19
    Relocating is safest for him, even if it's stressful at first. Use a TruCatch trap to lure him in (use his regular food or tuna in oil). You might have to get him comfortable with the trap first. Move him, then keep him confined in a safe space (like a large crate, bathroom, or enclosed patio) at the new place for a few weeks so he learns it's home.
    via Creative-Mousse
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    You will risk abandonment, confusion, and health risks if you leave him. Cats who get dependent on food like this have a hard time out there afterwards.
    via Creative-Mousse
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    Starry SkiesNY If you're not going to make him an indoor cat, leave him be. It will be sad and uncertain for him, but it's better than just dropping him outside in a totally different space.
    via StarrySkiesNY
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    Zebebe My 2 cents as someone who's had many indoor cats and also spent a lot of time. caring for stray cats - if hes going to be outside either way, leave him where he is. He'll miss you, but he also knows his way around, knows the cats in the area, and will find someone else to feed him. Dropping him
    via Zebebe
  • 23
    outside in a completely different area probably won't work out well. He'd likely get into fights with the local cats over territory, fights that could result in serious injuries (i know you said there's no strays at the new place but if its in a city there's likely cats somewhere nearby). Plus,
    via Zebebe
  • 24
    moving is extremely stressful on cats. Even indoor cats can take quite a while to adjust, imagine how much harder it would be for them outside.
    via Zebebe
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    I would ask a neighbor if they could take over feeding, maybe even offer to pay for the food for a bit. You'll feel much better knowing someone is looking out for him.
    via Zebebe

  • If he won’t come inside, he may truly be better off staying where the outsides are familiar. Uprooting him to a brand new area could stress him out. Definitely something to consider.

     

  • 26
    francenestarr49 Get a humane trap and bait it with fried chicken -- put where you feed him...maybe cover the trap so he will go in and feel safe. Good luck!
    via francenestarr49

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Cats pets adopted advice feline pawrents moving stray apartment
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