Relative uses AI to alter cousin's photo of their late grandmother, passes it off as his own: 'That's honestly a bizarre and weird [...] thing to do'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 28, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Losing someone is not easy. There's no way around it. And everyone grieves in different ways. Some might want to spend as much time as possible with their loved ones and folks who can help them through it. Others might want to retreat into themselves and want to spend time alone. There is no right or wrong way to process it. There is only your way. 

That said, we have to respect each other's process. We would hate for anyone to judge us, so we should refrain from judging others. This can be somewhat difficult to do, though, in a family of different personalities. You may all be suffering the same loss, but you're suffering it in different ways. Sometimes those ways might bump up against other ways, and you might clash. That's what happened in this story, but with a strangely 21st-century tilt to it. When one granddaughter took a photo of an intimate moment she had with her grandmother toward the end of her life, her cousin couldn't help but be jealous. But the way he handled it was bizarre. 

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  • After being sent her cousin's social media post, one woman wasn't quite sure what to do. She felt violated, but she wasn't sure if she was in the right. So she turned to the internet for advice, which it gave in droves. Read on to see what everyone had to say. 

  • Is my cousin in the wrong or am I overreacting?

    Cheezburger Image 10557541120
    via u/Empty_Age_997
  • Repose en paix, mamie (1936-2025) Une grande femme de caractère, touj... Afficher la suite 14 commentaires J'aime Commenter Partager
    via u/Empty_Age_997
  • I come from a big family. My mom (who passed away 4 years ago) had 5 sisters, and on my mom's side we're 12 cousins in total. We're all really close, though as we've grown older with our own kids and families, we've drifted a bit, but we're still very united.
    via u/Empty_Age_997
  • Recently, my grandmother passed away. Before her death, she spent a month in the hospital. I went to visit her several times, as did some of my cousins. On the day she passed, I was with my grandfather, my aunts, one cousin, and two of my cousins. During our last moment together, I took a picture of her hand in mine. I later posted it on Facebook.
    via u/Empty_Age_997
  • The next day, one of my cousins (who was also there when grandma passed) sent me a screenshot of another cousin's post. He had taken MY photo and used Al to edit it so that the hand in grandma's was his hand instead of mine. Like... seriously, ??
    via u/Empty_Age_997
  • I waited until I was less sad and angry, after the funeral, about two weeks later, and then I messaged him this: Hi Jo! I wanted to talk to you about the photo you edited and shared. For me, it's a very precious image, it's the last moment I had with grandma. When I saw that you had used it without asking me, at first I was upset, then hurt, and
    via u/Empty_Age_997
  • honestly confused. I know you loved grandma, I don't doubt that for a second, but I sincerely believe you should have asked me first out of respect. I waited to bring it up because I was too emotional at the time and didn't want to cause drama. I know grandma wouldn't have wanted conflict, but I also know she would
    via u/Empty_Age_997
  • have wanted me to stand up for myself, so that's what I'm doing now. I hope you don't take my message the wrong way. Could you please take the photo down from your socials? It would mean a lot to me and I'd really appreciate it. Wishing you a good day! And... he just left me on read. I don't want to start a war in my family, but what would you do?
    via u/Empty_Age_997

  • Commenters gave their takes on the situation.

    modernwunder 21h ago • Validating your emotions because that's honestly a bizarre and weird as h I thing to do. However: cousin is not worth engaging. I would just not talk to them and block them for a while, if you weren't previously close.
    via u/modernwunder
  • Ok-Committee-1747 21h ago • You already did something by writing a text. If you're asking if you should pursue it further? NO.
    via u/Ok-Committee-1747
  • Ok-Door-6731 • 21h ago While this is very strange behavior, I think it's not worth your time and energy to worry about. The photo does not change the actual memory or the worth of your own personal photo.
    via u/Ok-Door-6731
  • Amber_Owl 21h ago • You can't force the cousin to do anything, obviously. Your only choice is to control how you react. If you choose to create a war, then there will be war; but no assurance you'll win. But it sounds like the route most in alignment with some of the other things you've said would be to ... leave it alone.
    via u/Amber_Owl
  • You stood up for yourself, now keep the peace by knowing that's as far as you'll probably take it, beyond maybe wider boundaries and less contact with the offending cousin. There's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to win every fight or go to war over every thing, but you'll know when it is time to put in that effort.
    via u/Amber_Owl
  • HotspurJr · 21h ago So first of all: That was a SUPER weird thing for them to do. You know, it's possible they were in a weird headspace and processing their own grief and all that, so, it's both super weird and yet also, maybe understandable? Grief does weird sh to people.
    via u/HotspurJr
  • Having said what you had to say - which was entirely appropriate - I would let it drop. Yeah, it'd be nice if they mumbled an embarrassed apology at some point, you know, mumble-mumble weird headspace grief mumble mumble - and took the post down, but even without that, I don't think you're served well by anything other than just moving on from this.
    via u/HotspurJr
  • Choose to forget it happened and not ascribe any meaning to it. You said what needed to be said and should now be the bigger person. A lot of the advice you get on subs like this (including another comment I'm already seeing) is basically "hey, let's create maximum drama" and takes the attitude that if
    via u/HotspurJr
  • you're right, it doesn't matter how much you stir up the sh I strongly disagree with that attitude. Even if you're right, if you stir up the sh, guess what you end up smelling like? You're very much NOT the ahle at this point, but if you were to make a big deal about this in the family group
    via u/HotspurJr
  • chat or put your cousin on blast or anything like that, you would become one. If you feel compelled to roll your eyes about your cousin in private with another family member or two you're close to, that's fine, but beyond that - let it go. You said what needed to be said.
    via u/HotspurJr
  • Right now, anyone who is aware of both posts will recognize that what they did was weird. If you put your cousin on blast, then they will recognize that what they did was weird and think that you're kind of a j about it. The last thing anyone wants is a big public spat about events
    via u/HotspurJr
  • surrounding your grandmother's death, and if you cause that fight (even if you weren't the one who was initially in the wrong) people will hold it against you.
    via u/HotspurJr
  • Turbulent Inside_25 21h ago Your cousin was being weird but I don't know if it's the hill to di on because y'all lost your grandma. But that most definitely is weird. And if he responds he's going to try to make it like you're causing a commotion during y'all bereavement but like what was he gaining from doing that?
    via u/Turbulent_Inside_25
  • bubblez4eva • 21h ago . NTA. Your cousin is being tone deaf and weird. He may be grieving and feeling guilty that he didn't visit, but that gives him no right to steal your photo. If you can see him in person, try to and have a serious talk with him. No accusations or harsh words unless he starts it. If this isn't possible, comment on his photo and tell the truth and how you tried to settle it privately.
    via u/bubblez4eva
  • • sw... 21h ago Edited 20h ago . I mean yes it's kinda in poor taste, but also I don't feel that some of these more aggressive comments are very fair either He also lost his grandma too, maybe was bummed he didn't get any pics like you did of their last visit
    via u/swarlesbarkley_
  • You are def NTA but I don't think he is either, even if yeah prob should asked/let you know! But I don't think you should get any more stressed about it, roll your eyes at him and call it a day lol Sorry for your loss!!
    via u/swarlesbarkley_
  • NotCCross 20h ago • I mean. Both of you are weird for posting a picture of such an intimate moment. Not everything belongs on social media. Maybe grandma would not want her last moments on social media either.
    via u/NotCCross
  • alovelycreature • 21h ago First, so sorry for your loss. This is so weird for your cousin to do, and I can see why it would be so upsetting. I know it can be hard to approach someone when emotions are feeling intense, but I'm wondering if approaching with curiosity here might help? I'm curious what their intentions were and why they took your photo without consenting.
    via u/al0velycreature
  • Old-Road-501 • 21h ago to both of you. I swear I will never understand the need to share every intimate moment with the world. It's as if it didn't happen if it's not a social media post. It is a lovely photo. Why post it on social media instead of treasuring it for yourself and your loved ones?
    via u/Old-Road-501

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aita AITAH brother sibling rivalry sibling memes siblings money problems reddit story family feud Photo grief family sibling sister reddit thread Reddit artificial intelligence grandmother money
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