19-year-old daughter refuses to share the college fund her parents saved up with 17-year-old cousin, only to discover her parents already agreed: ‘They didn’t even ask me first’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 29, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

As kids, we used to love sharing everything with our family. Anyone with siblings or cousins close to their age knows how fun it can be to share clothes, toys, or even hot gossip with family members who are basically bound to become your best friends.

But just as we outgrow most things, at some point, sharing stops being fun, especially when you are being forced to do so by your parents. 

Take the daughter in the story below as an example. She grew up with her younger cousin, and they were always treated as sisters. But she is 19 now and is about to head to college, so her younger cousin is not what is currently on her mind. So when her aunt and uncle approached her and asked if she could share her college fund with said cousin, because they didn't have anything saved up, her immediate response was to refuse. Why should she share the money her parents saved up for her with her cousin? Why did she do to deserve it?

When this daughter found out that her parents agreed to share the fund behind her back, things escalated. Keep scrolling to read the full tale.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10558592512
    via Shantanu Kumar

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to share my college fund with my cousin just because my parents offered it?

    I'm 19F and just started my freshman year of college. My parents saved up a college fund for me since I was little.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 03
    It's not some insane amount, but it's enough to cover tuition and some living expenses so I don't end up in a ton of debt.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 04
    I'm really thankful for it. Here's the problem. My cousin 17F is graduating high school soon.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 05
    Her parents didn't save for college at all. She's smart and wants to go to the same university I'm at, but they're stressing about how to pay for it.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 06
    At a family get together last weekend my aunt and uncle brought up that maybe I should share my college fund with her.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 07
    I thought they were joking but nope they were de d serious. They said my parents had extra money lying around which isn't true it's specifically a fund for me and that since my cousin and I are like sisters I should help her out.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 08
    I brushed it off but later my parents told me they actually offered to let my cousin use part of the fund.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 09
    They didn't even ask me first. They just assumed I'd be fine with it. I told them no.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 10
    I worked hard to get into my school and I'm already worried about balancing classes and my part time job.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 11
    I don't think it's fair that I should lose part of what was set aside for me because my aunt and uncle didn't plan ahead.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 12
    My parents think I'm being selfish but I feel like I'm just protecting what was meant for me.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 13
    Now my cousin isn't talking to me my aunt called me spoiled and my parents are acting disappointed.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 14
    j I'm starting to wonder if I'm actually being a here. AITA for not wanting to share my college fund with my cousin?
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 15
    Coins stacked up to a jar filled with coins with a label that says 'Education'
    via ภาพของJd8

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    mariehotwife84 Your parents promised that fund to you. It's not your fault your aunt and uncle didn't plan ahead. Sharing it would mean sacrificing your own future. That's not selfish, that's just reality.
    via mariehotwife84
  • 17
    OP Vivivixxnn Thank you. That's how I feel too. I don't want my cousin to struggle but I also don't want to be left with debt just because my parents caved under pressure.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 18
    AppropriateGuide3842 You are NTA, your parents should've consulted you first. And your aunt and uncle looking for a handout for their own child should be ashamed that they even considered thinking about that as an option. Hold firm, don't give in, you know what's right or wrong and it's not your parent's job to help their failed brother/sister/inlaws. Your cousin can learn there are other opportunities for kids trying to get an education.
    via AppropriateGuide3842
  • 19
    OP Vivivixxnn Thank, this really helps me feel less crazy. I was starting to think maybe I was being selfish but dep down I know it isn't fair.
    via Vivivixxnn
  • 20
    sugahbee Just to add the fact you are now at uni and started using the fund... I believe that this would mean, legally, that this has already been passed from your parents to you as a gift. Once you're given a gift, the giver can not take it back or control what you do with it. This is purely based on my experience of watching small claims court but maybe you should look into this in more detail incase they try take it off you. Get some advice from your equivalent of citizens advice. I think uni
    via sugahbee
  • 21
    Tomorrow-Is-Better Absolutely NTA. If sharing your college fund had been the plan for years, you could have prepared for this by seeking more scholarships, etc. In any event, your aunt and uncle's failure to plan should not impact you in the slightest. I'm really surprised your parents are willing to contribute some of the fund. That would really hurt my feelings if I were you. Please stick to your guns - this is your future you're protecting.
    via Tomorrow-Is-Better
  • 22
    GoetheundLotte NTA, I guess you parents can legally do what they want but they are total AHs offering the fund and not even asking you.
    via GoetheundLotte
  • 23
    SamEnsalada Your parents want to burn you to keep your cousin warm? That is insane.
    via SamEnsalada
  • 24
    MainEgg320 NTA. Your aunt, uncle and cousin are extremely entitled, and your mother is an AH for offering that without speaking to you first. It is not your fault they didn't plan and you shouldn't have to struggle and sacrifice to make up for their poor planning.
    via MainEgg320
  • 25
    SensualConglomerate Your parents, aunt & uncle ATA in this situation. Your parents shouldn't said it'd be your college fund if they planned on distributing amongst famille. Your aunt and uncle should've never pried into something that was never their business! If your cousin is so smart, she can get hella scholarships. If you're feeling up to it, you can help her research. Don't start feeling bad because the grown adults in your life over-promise and point blame. They s k, NOT you..
    via SensualConglomerate
  • 26
    CosmosOZ Nahhhh, just keep your ground. NTA. Your parents are probably pressured and gaslighted by your irresponsible aunt and uncle. Your parents don't have a spine but if you do all the heavy lifting, they can just fake "Oh, she so selfish. We tired, but what we can do." Cause really, if they want to give the money to your cousin, they will just do it. Best you get access to the whole fund before your aunt and uncle forced them to go to the bank and take the money out.
    via CosmosOZ
  • 27
    Fluffy-Public2343 Exactly this... its not selfish to protect whats meant for you. Honestly your parents promising then backtracking is the real problem here.
    via Fluffy-Public2343

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family drama aita kids mother college fund reddit story parenting aunt uncle family Reddit money cousins college college student parents children Father
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