‘He didn’t have my back at all. I ended up walking away’: 3 Stepdaughters insult stepmom on a camping trip, so she refuses to serve them dinner at home, causing a huge argument about her partner siding with his kids

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Etai Eshet • Editor
Oct 3, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Blended family camping trips already have the drama dial at eleven, but things pick up fast when teenage stepkids decide to test every boundary on-site. Dad says no to a late-night hang with some older, tipsy boys. Stepmom backs him up, gets called every name under the sun, and spends the next two days wondering why basic respect isn't on the packing list. Nobody apologizes, everyone retreats, and suddenly "family bonding" means hiding out on separate sides of the tent.

Back home, birthday dinner becomes the main event for Bad Vibes Only. Tension is thick, apologies are nowhere, and the roast is hot. Step mom sticks to her word and skips serving the girls, letting them know where their own attitude got them. Carnage follows, screaming, cursing, and a new record for teenage theatrics. Partner keeps silent, then blames her for ruining the party, offering about as much backup as a cheap folding chair.

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  • AITA for not serving step kids dinner and “ruining it” for everyone?

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  • AITA for not serving food to my step kids and 'ruining dinner for everyone'? My (30f) partner (45m) have been together for just over a year.
    via newbegginings77

  • Blend families and respect issues never pair well for dinner. Everyone learns fast that being the adult sometimes means getting left out of the gratitude rotation. Boundaries get called picking fights, and defending your own sanity is “making things worse.” There’s no team spirit, just a kitchen split into rival camps and an awkward truce over leftovers.

  • We have known each other for about 3 years total. We currently live together (moved in early as my lease was up, although it was too early for both of us, we decided that's ultimately that's where we wanted the relationship to go) we are a blended family of 5 kids.
    via newbegginings77
  • We have recently gone camping where his kids (16,14,12) met a group of 18yr old boys.
    via newbegginings77
  • His youngest daughters wanted to go hangout with the new group of boys at night. The boys had been drinking (legal here) and were intoxicated when they left our camp site.
    via newbegginings77
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  • My partner said no & was met with attitude, so I stepped in, said it was inappropriate for underage girls to be with adult men who had been drinking.
    via newbegginings77
  • I offered to go to their campsite with them - they said no. Normally I wouldn't put my 2 cents in, very much NACHO when it comes to each other's kids, but they were giving their dad such bad attitude and we were just trying to enjoy our bonfire.
    via newbegginings77
  • Well, the girls turned on me, full yelling, name calling, being totally disrespectful. My partner said nothing, I went to bed p ed off.
    via newbegginings77
  • I was only looking out for them/ having my mans back and didn't deserve that. For the next 2 days, on a couple different occasions my partner and I talked about the issue - he said I should just move on and forget about it.
    via newbegginings77
  • I explained to him that I felt completely disrespected and name calling is never ok, especially from
    via newbegginings77
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  • I explained that I feel uncomfortable cooking, cleaning and providing for people who call me a c*unt and talk to me with such poor attitude when I'm only looking out for them.
    via newbegginings77
  • I was done doing these things for them until an apology was in order - I made that perfectly clear.
    via newbegginings77
  • They had been at their moms until last night. Last night I cooked a lamb roast, heaps of veggies and the works as it was his son's 16th birthday.
    via newbegginings77
  • Throughout the day I asked what the go was with the girls and reminded him that I'm not cooking/cleaning for them... he said nothing.
    via newbegginings77
  • Well dinner time comes, and we're all in the kitchen, I told the girls "like you said on Saturday 'I'm not your mother' so it's not my job to put food on the table for you.
    via newbegginings77
  • I don't do favours for people who talk with such disrespect" - all h I broke loose.
    via newbegginings77
  • His daughters started screaming, cursing and asking why I'm still here and that I should leave.
    via newbegginings77
  • My partner said that I've now upset his kids and picked a fight at dinner, ruining it for everyone.
    via newbegginings77
  • He didn't have my back at all. I ended up walking away, he ended up going to the opposite side of the house with his kids and I went to the other end with mine.
    via newbegginings77
  • This morning we havnt spoken a word but there is tons of tension in the house.
    via newbegginings77
  • I didn't think I was the AH for standing my ground about the disrespect while camping but maybe I am the AH for saying something at dinner.
    via newbegginings77
  • So reddit, Am I the a hole? TL;DR: step kids were disrespectful so I stopped doing things for them, now I've ruined dinner.
    via newbegginings77
  • AdAccomplished6870 No story ever starts with 'I am closer to my step daughters age than my husbands' and then ends well.
    via AdAccomplished6870
  • OP newbegginings77 This made me LOL. You're not wrong
    via newbegginings77
  • JustKinda Happenedxx OP is not an A H to her partner or his kids but she IS to her son for choosing his birthday as the day to have it out with the girls. I think your son would have much preferred having dinner out with just you (and his siblings?), even at McDonald's than what happened at your boyfriend's place. As others have said, moving in with a partner due to housing issues is really not a great choice, especially if you have kids. If you have parents or family who could house you tempora
    via JustKindaHappenedxx
  • OP newbegginings77 We had taken him camping on the weekend (it's what he wanted) and out for lunch with his girlfriend and all the kids during the day of dinner. Between camping and dinner I refused to do the girls laundry (dad did theirs) and cook/clean up after them. I received no apology in those two days and stuck to my word of what I was/wasnt going to do. I was hoping to receive an apology before the dinner late Monday evening (around 8pm). I reminded my partner several times that he neede
    via newbegginings77
  • CoolBabe06 Honestly your partner should've had your back. If he's gonna ignore the disrespect, that's on him, not you. You setting limits is healthy, not ruining dinner
    via CoolBabe06
  • OP newbegginings77 He has called me names during arguments previously and I've made it clear I won't be putting up with it. He hasn't called me any names in a long time. His ex, who cheated on him and is now remarried to her affair partner has sent threats and name called via facebook messenger, which I didn't see because it went to 'spam', when I did see it, I reached out an olive branch and said I didn't have any issue with her and it would be best if we could all get along. Now I'm copping it
    via newbegginings77
  • OP newbegginings77 Ok just a quick update to clear the air: The camping incident - the 14 and 12 year old wanted to go to the boys who they had been hanging out with all day- the dad said they're not going alone. They had a bit of a whinge about it and weren't too happy. I then offered to go with them but I also agreed with their dad, it wasn't safe to go alone. I was then told by the girls that I wasn't their mother, to off and stay out of it. Dad's response turned to a direct no. They called h
    via newbegginings77
  • bippityboppitynope Why are you with this man?
    via bippityboppitynope
  • Right_Cucumber5775 You need to move out and find another place to live. You've moved in too soon. Your partner should have stopped all of the conflict a long time ago. This is a no-win situation.
    via Right_Cucumber5775
  • Echo-Azure A better way to handle that would be to say "I do not tolerate disrespect or rudeness, and couldn't possibly cook or clean for people who are as disrespectful or rude as you have been to me. So your dad will be cooking your meals, and cleaning up after you, and if you think that's unfair to him, feel free to clean up after yourselves." And tell them that when they arrive, don't surprise them with it at dinner. Because you do NOT tell hungry kids that they can't have any of the food th
    via Echo-Azure
  • Adventurous-Emu-755 I think you both need to separate and move on. You both have different parenting "styles" so to say, those his will make him a grandpa soon. Now, I don't think you are TA for how you know an apology is in order BUT OP, you shouldn't have moved in with him so soon, you had only known him for under a year?
    via Adventurous-Emu-755
  • Top-Result-7571 This is never going to work- forget about the age gap, his kids hate you.
    via Top-Result-7571
  • littlebitfunny21 Your partner is the AH here, but this isn't sustainable. It sounds like you have kids of your own, so your kids are currently watching this verbal ab e get hurled at their own mother in their own home. You have to accept who your partner is showing you that he is.
    via littlebitfunny21

  • Standing up for basic respect shouldn't feel like declaring war, but sometimes the only real team at the table is whoever’s still making their own plate and eating in peace.

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