25-year-old takes toy away from 3-year-old cousin while babysitting, gets reprimanded by aunt: 'I wasn't going to listen to him scream all day'

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  • a young child plays with wooden toys
  • AITA for taking a child’s toys away for the afternoon?

    I'm a 25F and currently live with my aunt, her husband and two kids (16 and 3). The 3yo is potentially on the spectrum but my aunt keeps putting off getting him evaluated. He's obsessed with cars, trains and dinosaurs at the moment, and has a wooden train set with tracks. He has a habit of trying to roll them on his play rug instead of the tracks, and we have tile floors.
  • So, when his trains roll over the grout they tend to fall over, and when they do he gets upset, really upset. He tends to make noises when he's upset, but god when the trains fall. It's not a grunt or a pout. He screams, loud and shrill. And he'll do it over and over and over again. Even if we put the trains on the track he'll put them back on floor and the cycle repeats.
  • I was watching him, and he had a particularly rough day, especially with his train. So, after I put him down for his afternoon nap I took his train and track buckets and locked them away in a cabinet for the rest of the anfternoon until his mother got home, which was only another 2-3 hours. I told her what happened after she asked why I took his toys as I was bringing
  • wooden train toy and track arranged on a wood floor
  • them out to put them away I. his toy cupboard, and I told her. I tried everything; helping him fix it, redirection, telling him to stop screaming, but nothing was working. So yes, I got fed up and took his toys for the afternoon. He honestly wasn't even affected by it and spend the afternoon playing with his dinosaurs and magnets instead.
  • She thinks it was an a h le move to resort to hiding his toys from him, but what else was I supposed to do? I sure as h_I wasn't going to sit there and listen to him scream all day because he won't just pick the trains up and keep them on the track. I love her kids, I really do, but there's nothing I hate more than
  • hearing a child scream, especially that constantly. Looking back, I do feel bad, but I'd exhausted all my other options and wasn't going to fight fire with fire by yelling at him because what example does that set? That I can yell and scream but he can't?
  • closeup of a plastic dinosaur toy
  • Commenters agreed that she had made the right decision.

    Shoddy-Stock7151 NTA - The trains were causing him stress and you eliminated that stress in a gentle way for him. If he woke up from a nap, and was fine without the trains, you helped him. Also, it's ok to not want to listen to constant screams or racket.
  • ADHDofCrafts NTA, especially given that you waited for nap time and saw that he was happy with his other toys. Redirecting a child who is having trouble regulating themself is genuinely a great method. You did great! Your aunt and uncle, OTOH, are true AHs for refusing to do right by him and get him evaluated and for not helping him learn to regulate his emotions.
  • Spiritual-Bridge3027 NTA Your title is misleading. You hid the toys that were triggering a special needs child and the redirection worked! The kid was happy playing with other toys. You did what was necessary to keep a kid happy while babysitting. Your aunt is nuts for picking on you about this.
  • wowgamertbc NTA! The kid obviously redirected after the nap just fine, out of sight out of mind is always a good option. You didn't take the toys you just put them away so he wouldn't fixate on them after his nap. This works, why would she think this was an ah le move. I used to do this with my son as a baby/ toddler all the time. Sometimes he would notice and look around but not finding it right away would go play with something in front of him.
  • 416558934523081769 NTA, I've done similar with my own toddler. It's a form of redirection and you even did so while he was napping. There's a decent chance he only briefly realized they were missing before moving on to more productive play -- and by that I mean play that isn't upsetting him.
  • 00098888 NTA - I'd think differently if you'd have snapped in anger and hid them away while he cried for his favorite toys. But putting them out of sight so he can move onto another activity peacefully after nap? That's so tame. Unless there's another solution for the trains (like on a piece of cardboard, or a different rug, something like that) or another way to play with them... I think it's alright they get put away during certain times of the day regularly. But maybe keep an eye out for a lo
  • Plane-Technician8087 NTA redirection is good for any child having trouble with a toy or task or activity. You didn't put him in a cold stark room, he just played with other toys for a while.
  • Adahla987 Do you know how many times I've taken a slide whistle from my own child and hidden it for days???? NTA
  • VirtualTotal8468 You waited until he was napping to remove the specifc toys that were causing distress. You didn't take them away while he was awake and crying for them, you didn't threaten him or make a big deal about it. From what you say, he might not have even noticed they were missing and was calm and happy the remainder of the time.
  • Definitely think you took a reasonable step in a kind and reasonable way.
  • Mandiezie1 NTA and as the adult it's absolutely your job to assess the situation and deem what is best for the child. If he becomes overstimulated by a situation and repeatedly ignores the redirection, hide them. You did a great job waiting until he went down for a nap so there would be no more issues.
  • LilMushboom NTA - clearly he had other toys available that he was able to play with that didn't cause him constant distress like the train toy. He wasn't upset anymore. Sounds like redirecting him to a less upsetting activity worked out fine. It's not like you slapped the toy out of his hand.
  • MxBluebell As an au tic person myself, I'm telling you that you're NTA. You did everything right! You took away the factor that was causing distress (the trains) and distracted him with other toys so he was able to calm down and self-regulate. You saved him from going into a meltdown if the train fell one too many times.
  • JamSkully NTA. He played dinosaurs instead of trains & it was fine. Although I hope you would've given the trains back if he was distressed by their disappearance.

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