Pregnant 28-year-old daughter tells father she and her partner are moving out of his home after shouldering the cost of all household expenses for months, he tries to guilt her into staying: ‘He didn’t talk to me for days’

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  • "I'm completely drained - financially and emotionally."
  • "Tried to tell my dad we’re moving out… now he’s giving me the silent treatment"

    I told my dad that my family and I are moving out, but he got upset.
  • He said, "Why are you moving out? You're leaving us. You know I don't have work right now." I'm 28F, currently 8 months pregnant.
  • I live with my partner (30M) and our 2-year-old baby. I've been independent since I was 22 - living on my own and supporting myself.
  • Then in 2022, I met my partner, and a year later, I got pregnant. Since we were both working, we decided to temporarily move back to my parents' house so we'd have help taking care of the baby.
  • Since we moved back in 2023, I've been paying for almost everything - electricity, food, and other household needs (except water).
  • I also have three younger siblings still in school (two in elementary, one in college), plus my bedridden grandmother and her caregiver.
  • My salary isn't that big, but I ended up shouldering most of the household expenses - and because of that, I gradually sank into debt.
  • My dad helps a bit - mostly paying for my sister's college tuition and about 5,000 ($85) worth of groceries - but this year, he wasn't able to work overseas (he's a seaman), so I had to cover everything.
  • Earlier this year, I received a P500,000 (about $8,500) bonus from work, which I used to pay off my debts.
  • I really thought I could finally recover, but because the household expenses kept coming, I ended up in debt again around $300,000 ($5,000) now.
  • a woman with her head in her hands holding a stack of money while calculating household expenses with a calculator
  • So I applied for financial assistance from my company to help us move out and thankfully, it got approved!
  • They'll help with the security deposit, trucking, and other moving-related expenses. It felt like such a relief - finally, a chance to start over.
  • But when I told my dad, he got upset. He didn't talk to me for days.
  • He said maybe we could move out in December instead, because by that time he would be able to work overseas again.
  • The problem is, I'm due to give birth before December. I'll be recovering from surgery and it will be really hard to move by then.
  • Plus, the company assistance has a deadline it's only valid for two weeks. We need to submit proof that we actually moved and used the help properly, otherwise I'll have to return the funds.
  • I don't want to hurt my dad's feelings, but I also told him honestly that I'm drowning in debt and I have nothing left to give.
  • I'm completely drained - financially and emotionally. I'm not trying to abandon him. I just want to start fresh, get back on my feet, and focus on my own little family - especially with our new baby on the way.
  • I don't know if I'm being selfish for wanting to move out even though I know my dad's struggling right now.
  • But I've reached a point where I just can't keep sustaining everything anymore. I just want a fresh start, even if it's hard.
  • Kip_Schtum You've been very generous, but it seems like they're willing to let you drown so that they can stay afloat. That's not right.
  • AmbitiousAF1997 That's exactly how it feels sometimes. What makes it even harder is — I'm not even the eldest. I'm the - second child. Our eldest already has her own family now, and they actually ask her for help too, like for my younger siblings' allowance. She's the one paying our college sister's tuition right now, but it's not free - — it's a loan that my dad promised to pay back once he's back working on the ship. She also pays the water bill, around P2,000 monthly.
  • But with me, it's different. Whenever I help, I don't get anything back. Even the money I used to support them, I have to pay back on my own because it's all from debt. And what hurts most is, my sister earns around seven times more than I do. Yet when I reach out because we literally have nothing left to eat, she says she has none to spare - unless I'll pay her back, then suddenly she has something to lend.
  • It just makes me feel like... I've been stretching myself thin for everyone, but no one's really looking out for us the same way.
  • njoy 59 I'm sorry but I don't agree that your dad is paying for your sisters college but not house bills. Your sister should try to get financial assistance or loans. There are priorities here that are out of order. You are getting burdened on things that should not be your responsibility.

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