Wife calls out husband for making their 8, 10, and 14-year-old kids earn $10/hr learning industrial engineering: 'They've been spoiled brats up till now'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Oct 18, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

It's a good thing to learn some skills when you're a kid. It's part of what childhood is for. Sure, you want to bask in the irresponsibility of being a child, but it's also important to develop some routines and a sense of work ethic. You don't want to dim their lights with work too early, but you also don't want to deprive them of a chance to develop some real-world skills. This is why some parents push for their kids to have jobs. It's a common thing to start working once you enter your teenage years. Maybe you pick up some shifts at the mall after school, or maybe you do some odd jobs for your parents for some cash. 

But the point is not to make money, it's to develop some skills that schools don't teach you and to get a taste of responsibility. But how early is too early, and where should we draw the line? Those are the questions that came up in this family when a dad wanted to course-correct some of his children's behavior with a little bit of work. 

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  • A father reads to his young son.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • But his wife thought he was just turning his children into mini-me's and had somewhat of an ulterior motive. She worried that it was too much responsibility too soon and that he was steamrolling her into a parenting decision that should have been made jointly. Scroll on to learn more about the situation. 

  • Am I in the wrong for making my kids work for spending money?

    I (36m) have a business where I do engineering work under contract for various companies virtually. I have three kids 14m, 10f, 8m. The oldest and youngest are interested in what I do and have made some attempt at learning it. The middle child is more into art but is open to the
    via u/judas_ormand
  • idea of industrial engineering. I have offered each of them the opportunity to "work for me" where realistically I pay them to train them on a skill with the payment being the motivation. I would stay well within the confines of legality, just a few hours a week at $10 an hour unless the 14 year old can
    via u/judas_ormand
  • actually pick it up at which point I told him I'd pay him $20 an hour to do actual work for me. They're smart kids and I know they can do it. They've been spoiled brats up till now that get everything they want (our fault) with no real effort even in chores. My wife says I'm an asshole and shouldn't
    via u/judas_ormand

  • Commenters had varied opinions.

    jupitersbears • 9m ago They've been spoiled brats up till now that get everything they want (our fault) with no real effort even in chores. Honestly, YTA for this. Calling the kids you raised spoiled brats is wild - it's
    via u/jupitersbears
  • insulting them for the choices you made. Instead of now deciding that you want to bribe them into being mini-me's maybe you should take some time to consider what your values. are, how you're teaching
    via u/jupitersbears
  • and modeling those values to you kids, and develop some more open-ended opportunities for them to learn and grow with skills that are appealing to their individual personalities and also age appropriate.
    via u/jupitersbears
  • Mysterious-Fix9... • 26m ago YTA, because you've tried to impose this unilaterally rather than coming to an agreement with your wife. No one should be raising AHs, but you're also being an AH by completely steamrolling your wife. If her
    via u/Mysterious-Fix9135
  • A father and son work on something together.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • issue is you forcing your 8- 14 year olds to follow in your footsteps, it shouldn't be difficult to implement a system that allows the kids to gain responsibilities while doing things they are actually interested in.
    via u/Mysterious-Fix9135
  • Also, don't forget that you are equally responsible for creating those "brats." You sound a bit self-righteous.
    via u/Mysterious-Fix9135
  • Nihelus 18m ago Some SOS aren't reasonable. Two of my nieces are nightmares because their father doesn't want to parent and lets them do whatever they want. My sister is tired and dealing with her own issues and has just given up. Kids need rules and structure or you get entitled brats, which has become the norm in the US and much of the western world.
    via u/Nihelus
  • I miss the days when parents could parent without everyone sticking their noses where they don't belong. Parents don't parent anymore and it's raised a generation that thinks they're more special than they are and that virtue signaling is the same thing as actually doing good.
    via u/Nihelus
  • NTA OP. You're doing something good. Don't let any entitled idiots tell you otherwise. Raise your kids to be smart and self sufficient. We have enough of the other type dragging down our society as it is.
    via u/Nihelus
  • Mysterious-Fix9135 • 14m ago You're delusional. These "entitled idiots" are simply pointing out that one parent steamrolling the other does not work. If he wants to play it that way, his wife could just give the kids spending money at her sole discretion, and OP would be back to square one. But go off about virtue signaling... At least you gave me a good laugh.
    via u/Mysterious-Fix9135
  • Nihelus 11m ago • And you're making massive assumptions about their relationship and whether the wife is reasonable or not. If she's against teaching them skills and a good work ethic, chances are high that she's not. Those kids are lucky they even have a choice and are getting paid. I used to have to work and do whatever BOTH parents said for free. Sounds cushy to me, and you're over here complaining about it like he's abusing the kids or something. People are so weak these days.
    via u/Nihelus
  • eeemf. 22m ago NTA, but you and your wife should be on the same page about it, not you making the decision unilaterally.
    via u/eeemf
  • RandomModder05 9m ago . YTA. They're too young to be working in a professional setting. If they were teens and you told them to "Get a job, and I'm offering you one.", you'd be fine, but they're at the age where they should get an allowance for doing chores and keeping their grades up.
    via u/RandomModder05
  • Fuzzy_Cantaloupe6353 10m ago Same principle. What's wrong with learning a new skill. No one's making them it's an option.
    via u/Fuzzy_Cantaloupe6353
  • Canipaywithclaps • 2m ago 'Should get an allowance'... no child is entitled to an allowance.
    via u/Canipaywithclaps
  • Knightseason · 16m ago . NTA you're not forcing them to do anything, you've asked them and are even paying them. That's much more than some parents would do.
    via u/Knightseason
  • No_Championshi... 31m ago . NTA. Youre doing something smart and constructive with your kids. You are naturally going to spend more time with them this way, and they make money out of it. There is literally nothing wrong with what you are doing. Its how most people who are ahead get ahead it seems.
    via u/No_Championship5992

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