30-year-old woman refuses to babysit sister's daughter while she is working abroad, claiming the father should be taking care of the child, sister protests: ‘You have no consideration’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Oct 17, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

While babysitting your nieces and nephews can be a fun activity for a few hours, no one would agree to do it for more than that as long as the child has fully capable parents. Babysitting is not the same as parenting, and by definition, it is an activity that can only last a certain amount of time.

So if your sister approaches you and asks you to "babysit" her kid while she goes abroad to work, she is essentially asking you to become a parent, and you are allowed to say no to that.

That is exactly the case for the sisters in the story below. Even though the baby girl has two parents, her mom is not comfortable with leaving her with her father. This led the mom to ask her sister to take care of her daughter while she travels abroad for work. 

The sister, who is not interested in becoming a third parent to her niece, insisted that the one who should be taking care of her is the father. Apparently, that is not good enough for the mother, which led to a family dispute.

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  • 01
    Working mother and baby daughter
    via South_agency

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to take care of my sister's child while she works abroad?

    | 30F am married and have one child. My sister 27F plans to work overseas because she feels her current salary isn't enough to support their daily needs.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 03
    Her partner, however, is irresponsible he has a lot of bad habits and barely contribute anything to their household since he doesn't have a stable job.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 04
    My sister asked if she could leave her child with us while she's abroad, saying it would be nice since our kids could play together.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 05
    She also said she's not comfortable leaving her child to her partner. I told her no.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 06
    I said she needs to make her partner step up and take responsibility for their child.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 07
    I feel bad for her situation, but I don't think it's right for the father to have an easy life while someone else takes care of his kid.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 08
    Now my sister is kind of mad, saying I have no consideration and that I should be willing to help since it's my niece.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 09
    She hasn't talked to me since, and I'm not sure if she's still pushing her plan to work abroad.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 10
    AITA?
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10564507136
    via OLHA TSIPLYAR

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    Snarky75 Now my sister is kind of mad, saying I have no consideration and that I should be willing to help since it's my niece. The dad should be willing to take care of his own child!!
    via Snarky75
  • 13
    OP Cute_Gap_8458 I couldn't agree more. He has to step up and take responsibility.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 14
    acm_ca NTA. This is a really extreme ask! If she's working abroad, that sounds like a permanent move.. and she plans to just abandon her kid with you? It's different if it was like for a few weeks until she's settled into a new place, but as a long term solution- that's insane. Especially when there's another parent available! You'll end up with full guardianship over her kid if you agree.
    via acm_ca
  • 15
    OP Cute_Gap_8458 Exactly! That's what worries me. If I agree, I'll basically end up being the one raising her child while the father continues to avoid responsibility. It's not fair.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 16
    Apprehensive War9612 That is crazy and entitled. The child belongs with their parents unless they are incapable or abusive. Not just lazy.. If she plans to leave her child the child belongs with the father. NTA
    via Apprehensive_War9612
  • 17
    OP Cute_Gap_8458 Yeah, I feel the same way. I understand she wants to provide a better life, but leaving her child behind like that isn't the right solution especially the father is perfectly capable but just lazy.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 18
    Other Wind_5209 NTA. You're completely justified in setting that boundary. Taking care of someone's child full time is a massive responsibility, not just a simple favor. I get why your sister is frustrated, but you're spot on that the child's father really needs to step up. It's just not fair for you to bear the consequences of his irresponsibility.
    via Other_Wind_5209
  • 19
    OP Cute Gap_8458 Thank you! That's exactly how I feel. I love my niece but it wouldn't be right for me to take on that responsibility while the father gets a free pass. I just hoped my sister realizes that he needs to step up.
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 20
    beachbumm717 NTA That's a wild ask. Time for the father to get his shit together. She chose to have a child with him knowing he was irresponsible. She either gets him to step up or she doesnt work abroad. Those are the consequences of her past. decisions.
    via beachbumm717
  • 21
    OP Cute_Gap_8458 Correct!
    via Cute_Gap_8458
  • 22
    ButterscotchFit8175 She dated a loser, moved in with loser, was stupid enough to have a kid with a loser. The consequences of these bad choices are, her life is limited by the loser. NTA
    via ButterscotchFit8175
  • 23
    3-R-Motorsports Or just take the kid with her overseas!!
    via 3-R-Motorsports
  • 24
    SocialButterfly92 "Instead of breaking up with my unstable boyfriend, I'll just ditch our daughter and move to another country." Your sister is inhaling toxicity and exhaling audacity. Her partner isnt the only one irresponsible. Folk will do everything and anything to avoid adulting. How dare she attempt to hold you to higher parenting standard than herself and her chosen partner.
    via SocialButterfly92
  • 25
    Simple-Limit-5508 I agree. There doesn't seem to be an end date to this. This is sketchy at best. And what if the father wants his child back? I don't think OP could stop him
    via Simple-Limit-5508

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family drama aita baby babysitter kids mother siblings reddit story parenting babysitting aunt family sister Reddit women parents children Father
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