'I feel most respected by my coworkers': Technician hesitates when husband demands she quit her job to be stay-at-home mom to 6-year-old daughter

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 27, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

'Can I have it all?' is a question that still haunts many women.

Those who hope to have a fulfilling career and raise a family at the same time often feel a lot of pressure when it comes to balancing the reality of their desires. This isn't just because of the dedication it takes to be successful in both the professional and domestic spheres, but also the pressure that comes from others to do what they think should be done. It takes a strong will for women in this situation to do what they want and make it work for them.

One of the greatest benefits a working mom can have is a supportive partner who is willing to work as part of a team to make family life as stress-free as it can be. Unfortunately, this is not something that every woman in this kind of situation is allowed access to.

 

 

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  • a woman in a warehouse wears a hard hat and ear defenders around her neck, looking at a tablet
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a mom, wife, and highly regarded petroleum service technician felt pressure to conform to the wishes of her husband when it came to her work-life balance. They were parents to a 6-year-old girl, and currently, both of them worked earning the same amount of money—he Monday to Friday, 9 to 5, and she the same with occasional weekends and on-call shifts.

    The husband wanted her to reduce her hours or quit her job altogether, claiming that her skills were needed more at home and espousing the belief that women shouldn't work. However, the wife loved her position and was confident that their daughter was OK with the current arrangement. She looked for a second opinion.

  • AITA for not wanting to quit my work position for my husband?

    I (27F) have been married for 7 years to my (29M) husband. We have a 6 year old child together and we have a good marriage. I am a Petroleum service technician, meaning I work M-F and sometimes late nights or on-calls on technical problems. Most days and weekends, I'm home
    via InvestigatorNaive978
  • before 5 and on-call is not often. Im very good at what I do and make really good money doing it. My husband wants me to quit and work part- time or less hours and his reasoning is because he feels my skills are needed more at home than in the field. He believes women should not work at all and they belong at home. He also makes the same amount of money as me and he only
    via InvestigatorNaive978
  • Cheezburger Image 10568696320
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • works M-F. Our daughter understands when I have to leave I help make the world go around, and she doesnt seem to have a problem when I have to go or when I work late. I really love my career and I am not interested in quitting, but I dont want to choose my work over my family. I
    via InvestigatorNaive978
  • feel most respected by my boss and co-workers, and my boss/co-workers encourage me to keep getting better and keep doing what I'm doing now. AITA for not wanting to quit my job for my husband?
    via InvestigatorNaive978
  • Cheezburger Image 10568696576
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • People assured her that she wasn't the one in the wrong.

    Feeling-Paint-2196 Keep working so you can leave him before his sexist shit begins to clip your daughter's wings and limit her potential.
    via Feeling-Paint-2196
  • Spare-Shirt24 ΝΤΑ Do not EVER allow a partner to take away your ability to make money. Being able to make your own money gives you CHOICE and FREEDOM. I personally know women who had to stay in bad relationships longer than they wanted to bc they had been out of the workforce and didn't have their own money to immediately leave.
    via Spare-Shirt24
  • Don't you ever give up your autonomy. He believes women should not work at all and they belong at home GEEZUS. Why TF did you marry him?!?!
    via Spare-Shirt24
  • sweetpotatopietime My god. I beg you not to quit. Keep setting an awesome example for your daughter! My husband and son are so proud of my career and your daughter will be too.
    via sweetpotatopietime
  • Ameglian Unfortunately, you're married from a very young age to a sexist - who is blatantly disregarding what you want. Do you work with more men than women? Do not be manipulated or bullied into giving up a well-paid career that you love. Do not let that be the example that you give your daughter.
    via Ameglian
  • tomato_joe NTA your husband doesnt respect you or women jn general. Keep working.
    via tomato_joe
  • bkgxltcz he feels my skills are needed more at home than in the field Do you have a lot of fuel leaks and equipment failures at home or something...? He wants to control you by isolating you and making you financially dependent upon him. This is a dangerous dynamic to live in without your own income. Do not do it.
    via bkgxltcz
  • Life_Scratch_2807 Your husband does not respect you as an equal partner in this relationship. He sees a woman's worth in the home, meaning, cooking, cleaning, satisfying the man. Why would you do this? Right now you have a salary, saving and retirement that is growing. If you quit, everything you have will come from what he DECIDES to give you. Why would you consider doing that to yourself?
    via Life_Scratch_2807
  • CrankyWife So...he admits that you are not only a fantastic career professional, your skills at parenting and running a household are SUPERIOR to his, thus you must be the spouse that stay at home. Of course you're NTA.
    via CrankyWife
  • Dittoheadforever You're NTA and tell your husband the 1920's called and want their attitude back. He's not just wanting you to give up your job, he is asking you to give up a part of who you are to satisfy his outdated ideas. And that's at best. At worst, he is trying to get full control over you by being the only breadwinner.
    via Dittoheadforever
  • blackwillow-99 Keep your job. Tell husband and stay home. Remind him it's skills he can acquire by doing them repeatedly.
    via blackwillow-99
  • ElleWinter Do you have any idea how rare it is to have a workplace at which you feel respected? And you also like it? You have won the lottery. Your daughter is in school. DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB. Please, please, please, for your future, for your daughter's sake, for your own security, for your own happiness and self-respect, do NOT QUIT YOUR JOB.
    via ElleWinter
  • Clean_Permit_3791 NTA Ditch the husband and keep the career
    via Clean_Permit_3791
  • Edcrfvh NTA. Besides the obvious sexism, how does he propose to compensate for the income loss? He's talking about a 50% decrease. Also your daughter is 6. She's in school FT. Her daycare costs have decreased significantly. What's going on with his life that he's pushing this now?
    via Edcrfvh

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aita marriage job work wife relationships husband dad technician reddit thread Reddit mom
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