67-year-old refuses to pay for his brother-in-law's kid's college tuition after he steals $30k from him: ‘I was done helping him forever’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Nov 5, 2025 2:00 PM EST

There will always be someone who tries to take advantage of your generosity and kindness.

Kindness is admirable; Ignorance is not. It's important to be aware of how your friends and family interact with you, and if you think that your place in their lives is simply for their benefit and nothing else. Coming to terms with the possibility that your loved ones have taken advantage of you is not easy, but it'll save you a lifetime of pain if you take the bull by its horns and confront them and their ill behavior.

The man in this next story is coming to terms with the fact that his brother-in-law stole $30k from him. Not only that, but that same brother-in-law is now dumbfounded when the man refuses to contribute to his daughter's college tuition.

This man explains that he was planning on contributing to the fund prior to his BIL's theft, but has since changed his mind because he has no idea what his BIL will do with the funds. How is he to know for sure that the funds will not be misused? A betrayal of trust can last a lifetime. Scroll below to read the full story.

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  • 01
    man holding a lot of dollar bills
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "AITAH for not paying for my brother in law’s kids college after he stole money from me?"

    Please excuse my English I'm really bad at it. I'm a native Arabic speaker and English is my 4th language.
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 03
    1 67M am a lawyer, I've been married to my wife Elizabeth who's a therapist for 45 years now after being together since we were both 14 years old, our dads were best friends and they encouraged us to get together and honestly she's the love of my life.
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 04
    We have 4 beautiful kids together who are all successful, two are lawyers like me one is a medical doctor and the other is a college musical professor.
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 05
    I'm proud of everyone of them and I love them all to death, I also have two grandkids who are also my life a very lively 3 year old boy and a granddaughter that was just born two days ago actually and we're all over the moon about her, my daughter named her after my wife which was so sweet and cute.
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 06
    My wife has 3 siblings, two older and one much younger, they're all successful except my younger brother in law, he's 39 and he's actually younger than my oldest son who's 43, he's my wife's full brother and has the same parents, it was definitely weird to have a son who's 4 years older than his own uncle but it is what it is I guess, we helped raise him alongside my other siblings in law because my in laws were in their late 50's when they had him.
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 07
    Honestly he's a complete failure, he got married at 20 while not being in college and having a minimum wage dead end job, he was also into gambling a lot and we had to help him out multiple times, we tried getting him in college but he'd just party his way through it and drop out, we tried getting him professional help with therapy and such and nothing helped him, he had 3 children with his wife who ended leaving him 10 years ago, he couldn't hold down a job ever so I gave him one as my personal
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 08
    After that I fired him and told him I was done with helping him forever, I didn't sue him, I told him those 30k were the last money he'd ever see from me, my wife was incredibly mad at him and she supported me 100% same thing with my in laws, he got another job at a supermarket and I kept my work and never helped him again.
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 09
    Last week was my father in law's 92d birthday dinner, yes he's still kicking about and honestly he's more energetic than me nowadays it seems.
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 10
    Everyone was there including my brother in law and his kids, he pulled me aside and asked if I could give his daughter who's 17 now a college fund since I did so to my kids, I told him because they were my kids and no I'm not gonna do that, I told him he should be lucky I didn't go after him for stealing money from me and that it's not my problem he gambled it all away instead of saving it for college, I told him I can help her look into funds and scholarships but that she had to work for it.
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 11
    college graduate peeking over her diploma
    via Jasmine Coro (Unsplash)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    He called me an asshole and I called him a loser, he went back and told everyone that I wanna make his daughter suffer, I said that millions of kids get scholarships and student loans and that it's not the end of the world, the family split, some say it's not the girl's fault that her dad is struggling and the other including my wife say it's not my problem.
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 13
    Am I the asshole for not paying for her?
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 14
    Savings_Telephone_96 It's not your job to provide for his children. NTA.
    via Savings_Telephone_96
  • 15
    cassowary32 NTA. A college fund isn't something you demand months from needing one. It's something you plan for over years. Given his income, his daughter might qualify for lots of scholarships and financial aid. Also given his gambling history, giving him money would be a terrible idea, it should go directly to her school. I hope his daughter is monitoring her credit and he's not planning on taking student loans in her name and gambling it away.
    via cassowary32
  • 16
    kiky777 He is the AH for not doing more for himself or his kids when he had so many examples of successful people in his family. You are where you are because of your hard work, he should just do the same. Whoever is on his side, should also support him, is not your responsibility.
    via kiky777
  • 17
    Street_Beach_6693 All his family are successful, my two older brothers in law are doctors and my wife is a therapist, their partners too are successful, I honestly don't know where it went wrong for him
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 18
    KLG999 You are not obligated to support his children. I'm curious why when he is surrounded by successful family members, he feels this should be your sole responsibility. As a caring uncle you can help her look into resources as you have offered. Also, it sounds like he has other kids. If you pay for one, you will be expected to pay for others NTA
    via KLG999
  • 19
    Ofluffythe Oferocious I'm sorry, why are people expecting you to pay for kids that are not yours?
    via 0fluffythe0ferocious
  • 20
    Street_Beach_6693 Because I have money and have helped my late best friend's daughter with college once, I didn't pay for the entire thing but I helped her a lot, her late father was my brother from another mother and he physically saved my life once so it was a no brainer for me, she was also my goddaughter and I walked her down the aisle which was awesome
    via Street_Beach_6693
  • 21
    OfluffytheOferocious After reading this guy's exploits, I wouldn't be surprised if he just wants access to his kid's college fund if you did provide it and steal from her.
    via 0fluffythe0ferocious

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family dynamics family drama tuition entitled parents entitlement reddit story family feud parenting entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit money Parenting Fail college parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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