Woman hosts entitled friend for a week-long visit, only to get a formal complaint at the end of the visit about the quality of the stay: ‘She gave me a long list of issues’

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    Two young women out drinking coffee
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    My friend was mad that I only took one week off of work for her visit.

    Close friend wanted to come visit (stay in my home and use my car). We agreed to one week and I took that week off.
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    She booked the ticket for 12 days (she said because the flights were cheaper and I found out about it after the ticket was bought).
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    I adjusted my schedule but ended up needing to work two 12 hour night shifts during those 12 days but was completely off on the original week we agreed to.
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    She arrives, it's all good. I work on call overnight for hospice. My job can be emotionally draining.
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    I explained ahead of time that I would be unavailable to hangout even if I was home during my shifts.
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    She said she understood. (Hospice on call nurse is the one who goes to homes to pronounce when someone has passed.
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    We mostly do symptom management, as needed visits, family support, follow up calls and supply/med drops.
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    Some shifts are simple but some are extremely difficult as you can imagine. I am responsible for 120 patients across the county by myself for 12 hours).
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    I explained all of that to her way before she came to visit. Everything seemed fine.
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    I worked my shifts. I stopped everything else to do hikes, tours and eating out. We easily spent 10-12 hours a day doing what she wanted to do.
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    I have a tendency to be over accommodating. On my day off, I had planned a boat tour (I paid for) that she really wanted to do.
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    I told her we have to arrive at 0800 (boat tour starts at 0815). She didn't like getting up early but made it work.
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    We arrive at 0800 and I tell her we have a few minutes to spare to use the bathroom since it starts at 0815.
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    She yells at me in the car for "lying to her" about the time of the boat tour because she could have slept in 15 minutes.
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    My rationale was that it was an hour and 15 minute drive to get there so you need extra time and it's not like they would hold the boat for you if you're late.
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    A few other things happened but it's too much to write. I let it all slide just to keep peace.
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    The morning before she left, she told me "we need to talk" while out on a sunrise hike.
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    She said that she was stressed out after watching me work my shifts and it ruined her vacation.
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    It made her uncomfortable to see me so "focused and concerned" about work. I give my all to my hospice patients and families.
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    She said she was so uncomfortable being in my home that she was looking to purchase flights to leave the entire time.
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    A woman with long red hair sitting on a chair
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    She gave me a long list of "issues" she has with me. The list: I spoil my dogs, i shouldn't have lied about the boat tour time, I work too hard and should have taken more time off for her visit, I should upgrade to a new house, and I don't eat enough vegetables.
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    I tried to explain that I am just living my life and I'm comfortable, happy and content in it.
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    It felt like she was trying to "show me" that I shouldn't be happy with this life or something.
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    I took her to the airport the next day and said goodbye. She wrote me text daily but I hardly replied until she asked why.
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    I told her it was a bad visit and I needed space. We've not talked since.
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    PearGlum1966 Well, I hope that this friendship has now lapsed. A friend is supposed to be supportive of what you do and thankful for the time you spent with her. She sounds like she was very judgemental of the things you did and the way you live. Don't worry about her anymore. Continue to live your life like you want and enjoy the people who truly care about you.!!
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    OP Imstilllost2024 Thank you, I don't see us having a future friendship. I still just have no desire to reach out. I felt incredibly judged and it hurt after opening my doors to someone.
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    Sassypants_me I don't blame you. She sounds like someone not worth having in your life. I mean, getting after someone because they don't eat your preferred amount of vegetables??? Really????
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    OP Imstilllost2024 Right? It's kinda funny now but at the moment I was blind sided. I did take it as a learning opportunity though and increased my veggie intake
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    SparklesIB She's not wrong: You should eat more vegetables. Otherwise, she's a bad friend.
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    OP Imstilllost2024 That's so funny cause I did increase my veggie intake after that visit I took that one to heart. Everything is a learning opportunity
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    Interesting_Wing_461 Are you sure that she thinks you guys are close friends?
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    OP Imstilllost2024 This is a valid question. After the visit, I felt used and judged. I think I thought we were close friends but she had a different idea of it. I don't see us ever having a relationship again in the future.
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    RetroCucumber613 "upgrade to a new house" glad you've cut out that kind of negativity in your life
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    OP Imstilllost2024 She said it because I had said a few times how grateful I am for my little home. I love her and own her, what more could I want?

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