Employee debates ghosting manager, after she repeatedly messages her on WhatsApp for medical updates and documents on the day of her major surgery, despite handing in the sick notes a week prior: 'She's not understanding boundaries'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 4, 2025 10:00 AM EST

Having to prove yourself sick when taking a casual Tuesday off is one thing, but having a confirmed surgery booked months in advance is something a little more justifiable! This employee has taken the responsible route, following all the right steps of informing her boss weeks prior to her surgery and sending in all the relevant sick-day documents a week before the big day! So why is it that moments before going into surgery, this employee is bombarded by WhatsApp texts from her boss, demanding she send updates and re-email the sick notes to HR? I mean, way to contradict the "Something to ease the pain." They tell us that no one can fight the instant effects of anesthetics, but they clearly haven't met an over-stressed employee!

She told her boss that she will not be active on WhatsApp, and that if she has any inquiries, she can write to her via email! The thing is? That just doesn't seem to suit her boss, a boss that clearly needs an immediate lesson in how to respect boundaries. She could've messaged her the day before, or the day after, but the day of her surgery…That's just a no-go! So would it be appropriate for this employee to treat her boss like a toxic ex-boyfriend and leave her on read? Because if she wanted her boss to be the last person she spoke to before a major surgery, she would've texted her herself! 

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  • The fact of the matter is that despite clearly stating that she will not be active on WhatsApp, it feels like her boss is somehow trying desperately to test that theory. But instead of a ‘Good luck’ or a 'Get Well Soon', she was stuck with a “Get it to HR”…So perhaps she deserves to get ghosted, or is this a fair demand? 

  • 01
    Patient listening to her doctor.
    via anontae

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    I told my boss I am not active on WhatsApp while I recovery from surgery and gave my email. She just WhatsApp me again and no email….

    Considering she has been asking for my diagnosis and what the problem is when it's private info and I've followed all the right steps and submitted the Dr note.
    via Some-Ad7003
  • 03
    She also would WhatsApp me the day of my surgery asking for updates and for me to email again the sick notes I had provided one week ago....
    via Some-Ad7003
  • 04
    I checked my phone looking for my friends messages before I went into theatre and saw her telling me to email HR.
    via Some-Ad7003
  • 05
    This was right before I went into theatre.... I just feel like why could gag not have been asked the next day?
    via Some-Ad7003
  • 06
    I had already provided the note and also she knew it was the big surgery day.
    via Some-Ad7003
  • 07
    Is this just a not understanding boundaries thing? Should I just ignore the WhatsApp as I already said I'm not active on it and gave her my email?
    via Some-Ad7003
  • 08
    I've been marked off sick/ unfit for another ten days and so I don't understand why she keeps WhatsApping me on my personal phone....
    via Some-Ad7003
  • 09
    Woman walking out of the office while texting.
    via pressmaster

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    We also have a work group chats we have to join and yet it's full of conwokrers at the pub or at the gym and has nothing to do with actual work
    via Some-Ad7003
  • 11
    sienakixx Your boss is clearly crossing boundaries..ignore the WhatsApp, communicate only through email, and protect your privacy while recovering.
    via sienakixx
  • 12
    LoveOfSpreadsheets Yeah, I'd definitely ignore the Whatsapp. You gave notice and submitted the doctor note. You aren't working right now.
    via LoveOfSpreadsheets
  • 13
    Louises Belcher lol I don't even LOOK at the messages my boss sends me on days I'm not working. I'm not working-we're not friends, so what you're communicating to me is work. If I'm not getting paid for that time, I'm not doing it. Period. If I were you, I would block her communication while you're still recovering and then unblock her when you're going back to work. If she complains, just state 'like I said before I left, I don't look at WhatsApp outside of work. I gave you the option to email
    via LouisesBelcher
  • 14
    Drunner086 your boss is completely out of line honestly. messaging you on surgery day asking for documents you already sent is ridiculous. set the boundary hard... don't respond to whatsapp at all and if she brings it up later just say "as i mentioned i'm not checking whatsapp while recovering, email is the best way to reach me"
    via Drunner086
  • 15
    kaaria11 Mute that chat.
    via kaaria11
  • 16
    Powering off a cellphone.
    via weerayut-chaiwanna

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 17
    Loose_Acanthaceae201 If HR need anything else, they will contact you directly by email. The only reason Boss should even consider whatsapping you is as a private message to say something along the lines of "hope it goes well today and that you're feeling better soon".
    via Loose_Acanthaceae201
  • 18
    herowin6 Contact HR and attach the legal excerpts that support your rights too lol when you're better or hav a friend do it
    via herowin6
  • 19
    Tasty_Bullfroglegs What fucking job is anyone whatsapping their boss?
    via Tasty_Bullfroglegs
  • 20
    Spiritual_Cell_9719 Literally just ignore any correspondence you receive. You can address allat when you are back at work. This time is for you to focus on your self and your health, not for you to be stressed by harassment of people from your workplace.
    via Spiritual_Cell_9719
  • 21
    mmcgrat6 You've said how you could be reached and where you wouldn't be active. The expectation was set. If they can't follow instructions that's on them. Side note: This is either them forgetting you said that or it's intentional pushing past your boundaries to be dominant. Toxic either way
    via mmcgrat6
  • 22
    mkluczka Say you lost your phone and email account
    via mkluczka
  • 23
    Away-Quote-408 The obvious thing to do is to block her on WhatsApp. And you can also change your WhatsApp settings to only allow certain people to be able to message you.
    via Away-Quote-408
  • 24
    But, assuming you won't do that, first change your status update to say you won't be able to respond to messages immediately for personal reasons.
    via Away-Quote-408

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boss antiwork workplace-stories employee work-drama drama sick day whatsapp email work coworkers operation colleague workplace leave Reddit employment
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