Homeless single mom of a 15-year-old cuts off her best friend of 20 years after he refuses to take her in after she's been homeless for 2 months: 'My friend has a spare bedroom'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 3, 2025 6:00 PM EST

How could he be such a bad friend?

We all have an idea of ourselves as kind, giving people who would do anything to help a friend get out of a bad situation. That is, until we actually try to help a friend get out of a bad situation and it doesn't go as we expect. Helpers often expect the people they're helping to be endlessly grateful for their help, willing to follow their advice at every turn. It's far more common for someone in need to balk at being helped, because changing their life requires them to take steps they don't particularly wish to take. And that's their right; nobody is required to accept help from anybody, but it can make generous people more wary when people come to them for help in the future.

Most of us wouldn't send thousands of dollars to someone we barely know who claims to be struggling, especially if we aren't the most financially stable people ourselves. But you'd think we'd lend a helping hand to our best friend when they're going through something and we have the resources to give.

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  • Homeless sleeping on the sidewalk
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The man in this story refused to house his homeless best friend, and the internet is speculating whether he has good reasons to do so.

  • Would I be the bad guy if I cut off my best friend of 20 years because they wouldn’t help me when I was homeless?

    Two months ago, I became homeless after a sudden and unexpected d V situation with my now ex partner of ten years.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • Desperate to save my dependents (15y/o son and our cat), I was able to find a family member on his father's side to take both.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • However, not a single friend or family member is able or willing to take me. My son had to move hundreds of miles up north overnight and despite all odds, is flourishing in his new small town and school.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • I decided that the best course of action for both of us was to follow him.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • I have no more or less opportunities in this town than the city I came from.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • The weather is about the same right now, and it was my intention to use government assistance to get us back together and on our feet.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • However, due to some faulty case management in my home city and the current government shut down, I have been homeless on the street in 30 degree temperatures.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • My son is with his grandparents less than a mile away. My best friend lives in this town as well.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • A couple of people that are walking across a bridge
    via Richard Sagredo

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He has a history of people taking advantage of him and had become something of a stone wall.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • He is aware of my situation and that I have been freezing and getting sick from being homeless and being unable to treat my diabetes.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • I woke up one morning desperate after another night in the cold. I called my friend and told him I was considering р in order to not die this winter.
    via u/WaifWraith

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He said I'd probably have a hood chance posting on a fetish forum. I told him if I had to resort to that then everyone I knew would be dead to me.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • My friend has a spare bedroom. With government assistance, I could have paid nearly the entirety of his rent.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • A neatly made bed with white linens and pillows
    via ubeyonroad

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I just can't imagine watching a friend, your best friend, be at risk of dying on the street and not even offer them a blanket or some firewood, as the local d V advocacy group set me up in a tent at the campgrounds.
    via u/WaifWraith

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • WIBTAH if I cut off my best friend of 20 years because they wouldn't help me when I was homeless?
    via u/WaifWraith
  • UPDATE: Okay. I accept that many people told me I am very entitled and that makes me the AH.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • I will look into working on myself. In the meantime maybe I wbtah if I cut my friend off for how I felt about them, but instead will be cutting them off because apparently I am just not a good person and expect things that I don't deserve from people who are not obligated to help me.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • I am ashamed and I am sorry.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • Petty-Penelope The way this is written reeks that there's more to this for everyone to say you can't stay. My first guess is you have some mental health struggles or addiction issues...but you admit this friend has been burned before and you haven't really offered much assurances they won't be burned again. You also mention rent, which means leases and landlords. Your friend may not even have the option to move someone in, and they are entitled not to want drama of a fresh DV situation in their
    via u/Petty-Penelope
  • Boxfin I don't understand why everyone calls you the asshole. This is not entitlement. This is you almost freezing to death if your best friend" is willing to help you in a life or death situation, can you honestly call him your best friend still? This is probably not what you wanted to hear, but perhaps it's time to reevaluate the relationship you have with him. On a brighter note: I'm so happy to hear that your son is thriving in the new town! As a parent that must've been an incredible relief
    via u/Boxfin
  • Raccoon_Virus7180 I feel like there's more to this than what you're saying.
    via u/Raccoon_Virus7180
  • Throwaway199906543 Why not ask the people that have your som and cat? You wouldn't be an asshole for cutting them off though. I've been hard done by on several occasions but I wouldn't leave a close friend outside on the street. The question is, is this a close friend or just a long term friend? Knowing eachother for 20 years doesn't really mean much (in my opinion) if you aren't actually close. I have several casual friends that I've known forever, but we say hi once a year. I wouldn't give the
    via u/Throwaway199906543
  • OP WaifWraith My son asked his grandparents if I could come with them. The response was, "Your mom is an adult; she'll figure it out." My best friend of 20 years has literally been my best of friends. We finish each others thoughts and are so similar in our ways of thinking and approaching life. We talk very frequently and have kept that up over the years. I've let him much closer than any family member.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • AwareProfit9591 You've already gone and assessed his living situation and think he's obligated to help you based on that. I get that friends are meant to be there for each other but allowing someone into your space without a clear deadline is a huge ask... I mean, are you tidy? Would you bring drama to his home? Are you a considerate flat mate etc?
    via u/AwareProfit9591
  • OP WaifWraith He knows I am very tidy and clean meticulously. We have that in common.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • here_for_the_tea1 It's a sad situation but you're not entitled to anyone else's home. Your son was taken in but no family or friend wanted to take you in? Makes me wonder why.
    via u/here_for_the_tea1
  • OP WaifWraith I wonder why as well. I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. It's his paternal grandparents and I'm not on terms with the father.
    via u/WaifWraith
  • Passiveresistance Jfc these comments are wild. If I had an extra room and my friend was homeless and freezing, no tf she wouldn't be. Nta. Fuck that dude, he's not your friend and your kids grandparents aren't much better.
    via u/Passiveresistance
  • ZhiZhi17 Really surprised by these comments. If my best friend of 20 years was homeless she wouldn't have to ask me to help her, I would absolutely insist.
    via u/ZhiZhi17
  • SpillThatTea2Me Reddit is so weird. Yes, if I was risking freezing to death I would expect my best friend to take me in. If they didn't they would have shown me a side of themselves that didn't make me want to continue friendship.
    via u/SpillThatTea2Me

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parents of teens friendship teens best friends teenage mother teenagers homeless friends best friend grandparents Reddit mom single mom son reddit stories
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