Dad cut off his son’s college funds over a major change, now expects his financially stable son to bail him out of debt, but he refuses: ‘I said no. I explained [he] neglected me at a time when I needed him most’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Nov 12, 2025 3:00 PM EST

This dad pulled a Houdini with the Family funds and made them vanish right when a college major took an artsy left turn. Suddenly, the responsibility for someone's future shifted from dad's wallet to whatever jobs are available for freshmen who refuse to play ball. Fast-forward past the scramble for scholarships and twists borrowed from every bad coming‑of‑age movie: the parental branch of this investment firm is under financial review, and the original client is asked to chip in. If irony sold tickets, this situation could fill Madison Square Garden.

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  • AITH for refusing to financially help my dad after he cut me off in college?

    Older man looking away in frustration while younger man tries to talk, showing tension and stubbornness during a father and son disagreement
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I was brought up in a strict family. My father was a believer in tough love.
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  • At the age of 19, I had to change my major in college to social work despite the fact that I had majored in engineering.
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  • He became angry and told me that I was ruining my future. He informed me that he would not pay another semester in case I did not change back.
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  • I said no and he did. I left school after one year and took two positions and later completed my graduate education with the help of loans and scholarships.
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  • Middle-aged man and elderly father sitting at a table counting cash and discussing finances with serious expressions, symbolizing family money issues or generational financial tension
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Now jump to the present, I am not wealthy, but secure in my finances. My father is a retired person with a debt issue.
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  • All those lectures about grit and independence? Now starring as background music for the request to float overdue bills. There’s a clear pattern here, like a board game with rules that get reprinted every time someone loses. Calls to swallow old grudges are as common as those expired coupons in a kitchen drawer. Even the family’s guilt specialist is clocking overtime.

  • He requested that I would be able to assist him with some of his bills so that he can get things straightened out.
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  • I said no. I explained to him that I am not comfortable to support a person who has neglected me at a time when I needed him most.
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  • He referred to me as cold-hearted and that parents have no obligation to their children and they ought to look after their parents.
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  • My mother tells me that I am petty and I need to move on. I feel guilty in part in that he is my father, and I do not want him to be suffering.
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  • Stubborn father and son sitting on couch turned away from each other with crossed arms, showing anger and silent tension after an argument
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • But something in me will recall how lonely I could be when he cut me off.
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  • There’s something comforting about the predictability of this whole situation. The same people who wouldn’t co-sign a student loan now want a co-signer on their late‑stage tab. Everyone’s supposed to forgive, forget, and slide into the role of family financier, right on cue. 

  • So... AITH because they will not pay me to help my dad last year because he disinherited me in college?
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  • LawfulnessSuch4513 Tell them tough...actions have consequences. Tell them to figure it out just like you did years ago and go n/c!!! →
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  • HelpfulMaybeMama ""Support" is not one way. The same way you picked up multiple jobs to go bag to school is the same way he can get back on track. Explain that he taught you "tough love".
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  • alanamil No you are not wrong at all and do not let him try to guilt you. Would hevhelp you if you asked him?? No?? There is your answer for him. He is a grown up he needs to figure it out.
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  • sonal1988 > I had to change my major in college to social work despite the fact that I had majored in engineering It's usually the opposite. And you've hidden your post history so it's impossible to say if you're a troll or a bot
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  • Capable-Upstairs7728 NTAH. Stand your ground.
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  • NTA bookworm-1960 Turn things around and tell your father that children have no obligation to their parents. Tell your mother that you have moved on, without either of them assisting, and now they need to move on without you assisting. Your father made the decision to retire without being financially prepared. That is on him, not you.
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  • Ok_Dream_1417 NTA. He said that 'parents have no obligation to their children'. But they decided they needed ti bring a child into this world. Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen.
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  • Winthrop Twisp We have submitted this post to our sniffer He smells something suspicious 00
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relatives family drama inheritance tradition siblings family feud favoritism grandmother entitled people Father
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