Bride refuses to let maid-of-honor be part of wedding planning and pre-events, after she told her she couldn't attend the wedding due to booking a photography gig on the same day, refusing to cancel it 7 months in advance: 'She has a policy not to cancel'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 15, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Being asked to be in someone's bridal party is an honor, but being asked to be their maid of honor…Well, it's clearly written in the name! It isn't always the easiest role, there are definitely important responsibilities that come with the title, but when it is for someone we love, nothing about creating their perfect wedding day feels like a 'task.'

However, it seems as though not all of those sworn into the honor are quite as committed…This soon-to-be bride has dreamt about her wedding day since she was running around in heels 6 sizes too big, alongside a veil headband tangled within her hair. Sure, throughout the years her bridesmaid titles have chopped and changed, but she's always known the one person would be standing beside her on her special day (and we're not talking about her husband). But around 7 months before the wedding, things began crashing down, as her maid-of-honor 'sadly' expressed how she won't be able to attend her bestie's wedding day due to a photography gig she had booked for the same weekend…Yes, you heard that right!

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  • How could anyone do this to their best friend? The fact that she is refusing to cancel, despite it being months in advance, is the most hurtful part. It seems as though this ‘friend’ cares more about her business's policies than her best friend! So there's no question that this bride will be uninviting her from all the wedding planning and pre-big day events, because if we were her, we wouldn't want to see her ex-friend's face staring at us while saying yes to the dress, or picking out the perfect floral arrangements…

  • worried bride
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for being angry that my MOH dropped out of duties and won't attend my wedding due to a side gig?

    I (32F) am getting married next June. I sent Save-The- Date cards in early February, and invites went out three weeks ago.
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  • We have a location, have a venue, and we are figuring about 200 people will be there (my fiance has a large family).
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  • I asked my best friend Cara (33f) to be my Maid of Honor. We've been best friends for about 11 years now, and I was the MOH at her wedding.
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  • I did all the duties and such (this was 5 years ago). Cara said yes, and was really excited and was all in.
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  • We spent a few months planning everything and it all seemed normal. A bit of background on Cara.
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  • She has a sidegig job of wedding photographer. It isn't her main job, and she does it as a bit of extra money to fund her travel lifestyle.
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  • She usually blocks the dates of important events where she is busy or is on vacation.
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  • I expected her to do the same for my wedding. She has a full time job, and doesn't rely on these photography gigs as her main source of income.
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  • If she did, I would have understood. But she constantly says she does this just because she enjoys it and likes the extra money.
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  • Two weeks ago, Cara told me someone booked her for my wedding weekend and that she would have to drop out of both the wedding and the wedding party.
    via Adventurous_Bid6962
  • Maid of honor at bachelorette
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I was stunned. I asked her why she didn't block the date, and she said she forgot to.
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  • I asked her to just cancel it and apologize, it is 7+ months away but she told me she has a policy not to cancel any booked gigs.
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  • She said she is still excited to do all the other wedding stuff with me (trying on dresses, tasting menus, and going to the rehearsal dinner), but I told her if she didn't want to take one day off of work to support her best friend, then I don't want her in any of the planning process.
    via Adventurous_Bid6962
  • She apologized for the dropping out but told me she has a business to run and that she can't just cancel.
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  • I told her why she didn't block the date when she got the save the date card.
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  • She said she thought she did but apparently didn't. I told her I didn't feel like talking to her anymore, I was too upset and angry.
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  • That was two weeks ago. She sent me a text message but I didn't respond. I told some other friends and some think she should still be part of the planning process and, but others were really upset with her on my behalf as they were also upset with her actions.
    via Adventurous_Bid6962
  • I'm really hurt that my best friend won't be my side, as I was by her side, but now I'm rethinking our entire friendship.
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  • AITA for not letting my friend be part of the wedding planning process after she told me she couldn't attend/be my maid of honor due to a photography gig?
    via Adventurous_Bid6962
  • ConflictGullible392 NTA. This is confusing because doesn't she have to agree to the booking? Someone can't just book her as a photographer without her agreement. Feels like she's making excuses.
    via ConflictGullible392
  • OP Adventurous_Bid6962 I honestly didn't think about that. I'm not sure how her bookings worked. She works alone, but I know sometimes her husband helps her with minor stuff. Now that you brought that up, I think I'm even more upset.
    via Adventurous_Bid6962
  • Wedding photographer positioning bride's dress
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • ChocolatMacaron >But she constantly says she does this just because she enjoys it and likes the extra money. INFO: Are you absolutely sure of this? Like is she going on lots of holidays, buying lots of new stuff etc? Because maybe she's struggling financially but doesn't want to admit it and this job is a big deal for her money-wise.
    via ChocolatMacaron
  • OP Adventurous_Bid6962 Yes. She and her husband make pretty good money, they are always going on vacations (She is leaving for a 2 week cruise in a week, and has another cruise booked in May). I think they are also planning a skiing trip in December.
    via Adventurous_Bid6962
  • Mammoth_Rope_8318 NTA. It's 7 months out. Whoever booked her can find another photographer. Just like you can now find a different MOH. A better MOH. An upgrade. Have the wedding of your dreams. Also hire her competition.
    via Mammoth_Rope_8318
  • NTA Upsidedown0310 I'm a wedding photographer as my actual job (it's my sole source of income) and I don't understand how she managed to book a wedding that day and why she now can't back out of it. It honestly sounds like she's looking for an excuse not to be your MOH
    via Upsidedown0310
  • 123__LGB I cannot think of one logical reason she should be included in the planning process for a wedding she is not attending. ΝΤΑ
    via 123__LGB

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Tags

bride booking calendar wedding planning best friends cancelled save the date bridal party process wedding side-gig disappointing Maid Of Honor photographer hobby
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