28-year-old expecting mother forces partner to give up his sports car because she can't drive a manual transmission, he thinks it's unfair: 'I cant understand why she won't learn to drive manual'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 15, 2025 10:00 PM EST

When you're about to have a baby, everything gets put into perspective. You realize the things you have to change about your life that you never thought you would have to change. A baby makes everything different. You don't have to give up what makes you you, but you do have to think a little harder about how it might fit into the life of a child. Say, for example, you have dangerous hobbies, like cliff jumping. When you become a parent, you might think twice the next time you cliff jump. Someone is now dependent on you for their life and well-being. You would hate to leave them in a lurch because you cliff dove a little too close to the sun. 

So you have to take stock of the things in your life that you should amend for the appearance of a baby. Maybe you're not the type of person who will think of those things on your own, so you might need a little nudging from your partner. That's what happened in this situation to a pair of expecting parents. 

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  • A man and a woman sit in the front of a car.
    via Alexander Mass

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One of them had a sports car that was difficult for most people (namely, his partner) to drive because it was a stick shift. Not many people know how to drive a manual these days. But did that mean that he needed to give up his prized possession? Scroll on and see what you think. 

  • AITA for getting upset that my partner is making me give up my sports car because she cant drive a manual transmission?

    I (31M) and my partner (28f) are expecting our first child next year. I currently drive a sedan sports car with a manual transmission. Its my pride and joy and ever since I was a kid I have wanted a car like this and really the only 'nice' thing I have.
    via u/Sweatypines
  • My partner can not drive a manual and instead of letting me teach her she said that we need to get rid of it so we each have a car that we can both drive in case on an emergency. I totally understand and agree with the logic behind it but I cant understand why she won't learn to drive manual.
    via u/Sweatypines
  • I have confirmed on forums and Facebook groups that a baby seat can fit in the back just fine and the boot/trunk space is big enough for a pram/stroller. The sacrifices she is going through. to have our baby both mentally and physically are not lost on me and I am so incredibly proud of her. Maybe I just need a different perspective.
    via u/Sweatypines

  • Commenters came in with their opinions.

    Swi... 12h ago Edited 8h ago NAH with caveats. I don't think it's unreasonable that OP's partner doesn't want to learn stick. It's really not a relevant skill today (in countries where automatic transmission is the norm, and has been for a long time).
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • I also don't think OP should have to give up his car just because his partner wants them each to be able to drive each other's cars. HOWEVER:
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • OP needs to make sure his partner's car doesn't become the de facto family car. That might be part of why OP's. partner wants him to get rid of his car: right now, he drives a sports car, his 'pride and joy', and it's not intended to be a family vehicle. OP's partner drives an SUV.
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • One of those is going to fit a car seat and hold a stroller and diaper bag and all the other paraphernalia of infant care much more easily than the other. I'm betting OP's partner doesn't want their car to become the default family car, while OP gets to have a nice car to himself.
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • A man and a woman sit in a nice car.
    via Marius Muresan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • A common struggle for a lot of new parents is that mom just becomes mom - - everything in their life ends up revolving around motherhood. Gifts end up. being for baby or for household in general instead of for them. When they have time to 'themselves' they're still expected to be reachable even though there's another 'on duty' parent. Things like that.
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • Meanwhile, dad still gets a life separate from fatherhood. OP's kid isn't even born yet, and already this trap is forming. (This is all speaking in generalities of course, and is just my opinion on why this might be such a big deal to OP's partner.)
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • Paul-Kersey · 13h ago . NAH you're not in the wrong for wanting to keep it, especially with it being a 4-door, it's not like it's a 2-seater Porsche or something
    via u/Paul-Kersey
  • she's also not in the wrong though for preferring a vehicle she would be more comfortable driving, especially if she will only be driving it in an emergency- type situation, it only makes sense she wouldn't want to be distracted by anything, like using a clutch she isn't accustomed to
    via u/Paul-Kersey
  • whats_t8rs • 12h ago In my opinion, this one is a toss-up. You are NTA for wanting to keep the car, but it is also reasonable that your wife is not willing to learn manual during such a stressful stage of life. It might seem easy to you, but it sounds like it is very
    via u/whats_t8rs
  • intimidating for her. The last thing she needs now, or during the next several years, is an extra challenge. It might be worth running the numbers about whether two cars are possible, or finding an automatic car that still fits your taste well enough.
    via u/whats_t8rs
  • I like to say that once I had kids, they became both my job and my hobby. I still squeeze some things in where I can, but kids need as much quality time and attention from you as they can get.
    via u/whats_t8rs
  • Namrahc 12h ago YTA I say this as someone who has a very nice sports car that I love driving, it's a car. It is not an extension of your manhood and calling it your pride and joy with a kid on the way is kind of sad.
    via u/Namrahc
  • A car seat could fit in the back of mine, but it wouldn't be comfortable getting it in and out since it's a 2 door. If I had a new kid on the way, I would trade it in for an SUV or quad cab truck. You're letting your vanity get in the way of what's important imo. What's more important to you, feeling flashy in your sports car or the safety and comfort of your family?
    via u/Namrahc
  • La-matya-vin • 11h ago Omg this breaks my heart to say because I have a manual car that is my pride and joy but dude. You are about to create a family. The pride and joy car thing might have to take a backseat for a while. Family comes first.
    via u/La-matya-vin
  • Prestigious_Scars ⚫ 12h ago NAH. But with that in mind, your life is changing and having a second car that your wife may need to drive for whatever reason isn't an unreasonable thought. Expecting her to learn to drive manual during this period of her life though is not only
    via u/Prestigious_Scars
  • stressful, but it simply is something that many people never learn to do. And for the amount of time she would use it - never, unless in emergency - it doesn't sound like the kind of thing I would want someone to do while panicked or with no experience in driving it for
    via u/Prestigious_Scars
  • years. I don't think her request is unreasonable, people make sacrifices all the time when they're making a life with a partner and family in mind rather than just themselves.
    via u/Prestigious_Scars
  • rombies 11h ago . NAH, you both have valid points. I'm wondering if maybe your partner doesn't want to learn stick because she's not willing to risk making a mistake and injuring herself,
    via u/rombies
  • you, or worse, your unborn child right now. She might also not want to risk doing any damage to your "pride and joy" and have that come between the two of you. She might also be reluctant to - have you teach her — maybe she'd rather be your partner than your student. Maybe she thinks it could be frustrating for either or both of you, and she values the relationship more.
    via u/rombies
  • Any-Musician1896 12h ago Is giving up a car so much of a sacrifice when you are creating a family? If the car is so important then should have thought about it before you made a baby.
    via u/Any-Musician1896

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