Oldest sister flies home for Christmas, gets pushed from the spare room for golden child Bailey and her cats, spends the trip in an Airbnb, and plans a solo trip this year instead: ‘I was upset when my mom uninvited me, I decided go on vacation alone’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Nov 21, 2025 1:00 PM EST

Some families just have a favorite, then build the holiday schedule around that one person and their pets. Bailey is that person. Bailey gets the spare room, the cats, the full Christmas experience. Older sister flies in from another country after years away, and gets told, "Actually, never mind, go find a hotel." All because the golden child insists on traveling with two cats and everyone else is expected to adjust.

So this year the plan is different. A short, polite visit, then a solo vacation somewhere that does not come with cat hair and old resentment. Parents promise no animals in the house this time, but that trust account is low. Calling it boundaries does not feel dramatic. It just feels like finally treating her own time off like it matters as much as Bailey's.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement

  • AITA for going on vacation alone after my parents bait-and-switched me last Christmas?

    Young woman standing in a hallway with a rolling suitcase, dressed in a brown winter jacket and jeans, appearing uncertain as she looks toward the front door of the home
    via STEKLO

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I am a longtime listener, and I'm coming here for a reality check. A bit of background to this situation: I (29F) have lived abroad for about 8 years.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • I come home a few times a year, but due to work obligations, I wasn't able to be home for the holidays between 2017 and 2023.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • Fast forward to Christmas 2024, and I was able to take some time off. My parents invited me to stay in their spare room, I booked non-refundable tickets, and I thought everything was good.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • I was really excited! Anyway, a few weeks before I was set to leave, my mom called me and said actually I couldn't stay with them and I'd need to book a hotel or Airbnb.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • She said my sister, Bailey (27F), and her partner would actually be staying in the spare room.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • Frustrated woman on a phone call sitting near a decorated Christmas tree, expressing stress or disappointment during a holiday conversation
    via Nicoleta Ionescu

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • They would also be bringing Bailey's two cats. I am pretty allergic to cats. My throat closes up, I get hives and a red ring around my lips, and my eyes swell.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • This is not an anaphylactic or life threatening allergy, to be clear, but it's pretty uncomfortable.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • My whole family knows about my allergy. I could've just slept on the couch or something, but because my sister was bringing her cats, I didn't want to be wheezing and scratching the entire time.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • Bailey's partner is an attorney, she has a good professional job, and they live in a LCOL area of the rural Midwest.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • They could easily afford to board their cats or pay someone to watch them, but my sister didn't want to.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • “Serious young woman sitting at a wooden table in front of a decorated Christmas tree, looking directly at the camera with a concerned, thoughtful expression during the holidays
    via Krakenimages.com

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The cats also can't stay with my sister's in-laws (they live five minutes from my parents) because Bailey's older cat has FIV and they don't want to spread it to the in-laws' cat.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • I was upset when my mom uninvited me to stay with them. The whole purpose of this visit was family time, and I'd miss out a lot staying in a hotel and avoiding my parents' house due to the cats.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • I asked my mom why she didn't ask my sister to leave her cats at home.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • She said Bailey would cancel her visit if the cats weren't allowed, but my mom knew I'd come home no matter what.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • So I stayed in an Airbnb while visiting, and the visit was lonely and kind of a dud.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • While my parents, Bailey, my BIL, and our two teenage siblings were hanging out at home, I was only able to join when they were outside of the house.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • I felt very excluded. I wish I would've just gone on vacation instead. For additional context: My sister Bailey is the golden child, and I'm kind of a scapegoat.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • There have been lots of examples over the years Bailey took dance and riding lessons, while I - stayed home to babysit; Bailey got hugs and handmade cards from my mom, but my mom rarely showed me affection and this feels like the same old issues.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • This year, I'll have some vacation time in December, and I'm hesitant to go home. I decided to spend a few days with my parents, then go on vacation alone for the rest of my days off.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • My parents claim they'll ban the cats this year and make sure I have a place to sleep, but I don't trust that claim 100%.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • Am I being entitled and vindictive, or is this just setting boundaries? | understand that I'm not entitled to stay at their house whenever I want.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • THT'ers, am I the asshole?
    via blue-green-cloud
  • TheMoanldentity NTA at all. Sucks you had to deal with that drama, and kudos to you for standing up for yourself! It kinda sucks but fam can be the worst sometimes. Take that vacay, treat yo self! You got every right to enjoy your time off however you want - and if they can't respect your boundaries, then it's their loss.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • NTA. This Cauliflower 1986 You are visiting your parents and choosing to take care of yourself too. Win win. And you pick the terms. We limit visits with my spouses family due to similar reasons because it doesn't feel like a good use of vacation time to be excluded or with people who put you last.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • AcceptableExtent9236 Absolutely NTA they showed you how little they cared about your comfort and time last year. They knew you were allergic to cats last year and that didn't change their decision to prioritize your sister over you, why would it now? Have a good, relaxing vacation without having to rely on them after they've proven to be unreliable.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • WallabyInTraining NTA. They've burned you before and it wasn't an accident. They knew exactly what they were doing. That doesn't mean you should cut them out of your life forever, and I think you realise this. But you cannot rely on them to honor their word. That's a tough cookie to swallow. They may change their ways but trying again is a risk. So this year I think you are very justified in choosing to have a stress free holiday. Do you have any idea why your sister is the golden child? Sometim
    via blue-green-cloud
  • MmaRamotsweOS NTA They made their choice, you are making yours, nothing wrong with that.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • lianavan Stand up for yourself.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • AutoModerator Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
    via blue-green-cloud
  • No-Fail7484 Nope. Just visit if it is convenient to you and fine spend much time there. Go have fun and they can sit with the golden boy
    via blue-green-cloud
  • motherofbadkittens For many years to avoid family drama we decided to go elsewhere for Christmas Holidays. One year splurged and went to Paris, we've done St. Augustine, South California for warmer weather. I know a person who goes on a cruise, also goes to warmer climates for a great swim during Xmas. Why bother going "back home" if you're never accounted for or just brushed aside. It took me a long time to realize if im not appreciated or taken regards for why waste my precious vacation time a
    via blue-green-cloud

  • The allergy is not dramatic, just miserable. Tight throat, itchy skin, swollen eyes. Not enough for anyone to panic, apparently, just enough to make staying in the house a bad idea. Bailey could board the cats or pay a sitter. She has the money and local support. She simply does not feel like it. Mom quietly admits she knows that. Mom also admits she only pushed the kid she knew would come anyway.

  • Airbnb turns the whole trip into background noise. Family time happens in the house where the cats live. Older sister appears for the parts that can be done outside, then heads back to an empty rental. It feels less like coming home and more like visiting a town where everyone already has plans.

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

christmas family drama inheritance brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism sister fiancé grandmother Father
Scroll Down For The Next Article