Vet tech prioritizes her career when her socialite mother-in-law deliberately schedules important family events on days she knows she has to work: 'I'm not going to keep feeling guilty for having a job'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Nov 29, 2025 4:00 PM EST

One scheduling mishap is totally excusable, but when every single family event shows a pattern of being scheduled during unswitchable shifts, targeting a specific relative's work days, things get a little fishy… Or in this case, petty. MILs enter monster-in-law territory when they deliberately exclude their daughter-in-law and then guilt-trip her over her inability to attend.

A vet tech spent years building her career; why would she sideline it now? Following her love for animals and her veterinary passions, she finally secured a good job, working rotating weekends to secure some extra cash flow. With wedding expenses coming up, the weekend shifts were putting gravy on the table; however, her relatives started making her feel guilty for her work ethic, particularly her retired socialite mother-in-law.

It's as if her mother-in-law expected her to call out of her shifts to attend a 60-year-old woman's birthday party or to bring a gift to a distant cousin's engagement celebration. Sorry, but the emergency vet clinic has one on-call vet tech, and those animal health emergencies take priority.  

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  • AITA for telling my fiancé I'm done attending his family events
    via South_Olive291
  • I (29F) have been with Marcus (31M) for almost 3 years, engaged for about 4 months now. Things with his family have always been... fine? His mom Lorraine was never super warm to me but I figured that's just how some people are.
    via South_Olive291
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  • I work as a vet tech at an emergency animal hospital in Adelaide. I love my job but the schedule is rough. I work rotating weekends and I've explained this probably a hundred times.
    via South_Olive291
  • Weekend shifts pay better and I can't just swap them whenever I want. Here's the thing. For the past maybe 6 months? Could be longer honestly. Lorraine has
    via South_Olive291
  • been scheduling "important family events" on weekends she KNOWS I'm working. And I mean she knows because Marcus literally sends her my roster every month. She asked him to so she could "plan around it."
    via South_Olive291
  • First it was her birthday dinner. Then it was a cousin's engagement party. Then some anniversary thing for her parents. Every single one scheduled on my weekend shifts.
    via South_Olive291
  • At first I thought it was coincidence. Bad luck. But last month she planned a "family BBQ" and when Marcus mentioned I'd be working she said "oh that's a shame, I suppose work comes first for some people."
    via South_Olive291
  • I finally snapped after this week. She's planned an early Christmas lunch for December 14th. I'm working. When Marcus told her she apparently said "well I've already sent invites, she'll just have to figure it out."
    via South_Olive291
  • I told Marcus I'm done. I'm not rearranging my life anymore and I'm not going to keep feeling guilty for having a job. He thinks I'm being dramatic and that his mum "doesn't mean it like that."
    via South_Olive291
  • But here's what gets me. She's retired. She could pick literally ANY day. And she always picks mine.
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  • Marcus says I'm reading too much into it and that I should just ask to swap shifts more. But I've already swapped twice this year for his family stuff and my coworkers are getting annoyed with me. Also I genuinely cannot afford to lose weekend rates right now with the wedding coming up.
    via South_Olive291
  • I don't know. Part of me thinks maybe I AM being paranoid. But the pattern is right there?? AITA for putting my foot down?
    via South_Olive291
  • Last-Initiative8151 NTA and honestly the fact that she asked for your roster "to plan around it" and then does the exact opposite is wild. That's not coincidence, that's strategy.
    via Last-Initiative8151
  • But I'm more concerned about Marcus here. He SENDS her your schedule. He sees the pattern. And his response is that YOU should swap shifts more? That's not a Lorraine problem, that's a Marcus problem.
    via Last-Initiative8151
  • Have you two done any premarital counseling? Because this isn't going away after the wedding. If anything MILs like this get worse once there's a ring involved.
    via Last-Initiative8151
  • JuniperPanini ⚫ I would send an altered work schedule for the next month and see if things magically get scheduled for the weekends you "work."
    via JuniperPanini
  • Accomplished_Win4732 Marcus calling you "dramatic" is the real red flag here. like bro, your fiancée is literally being iced out by your mom and you're just shrugging?? embarrassing behavior tbh.
    via Accomplished_Win4732
  • FlimsyMeat427 and Marcus... my dude needs to grow a spine before the wedding or you're gonna end up fighting his mom by proxy for the next 40 years. like if he won't set boundaries now, WHEN??
    via FlimsyMeat427
  • Past-Anything9789 NTA how much do you want to - bet that if he tells her he won't be attending without you, the calendar will miraculously clear up.
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  • Unfortunately that requires your fiance to actually stand up to her on your behalf. I think you need to be pretty clear to him that you need him to support you.
    via Past-Anything9789
  • Otherwise you may as well get used to a lifetime of being excluded from family events.
    via Past-Anything9789

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family drama family events mother in law family vet tech
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