Parents take away their 18-year-old daughter's mattress at 7 AM because she's sleeping in until 10 AM: 'I usually stay up until 2AM'

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  • A girl is sleeping in a bed with a blanket
  • My parents have been taking my mattress as a punishment

    I'm 18F and living at home, I'm just going to our local community college. I struggle really badly with my mental health. I have a few diagnosed disorders. I'm medicated, I see a counselor and a therapist (two separate people), and take a bunch of supplements that are meant to help with my mental health. My parents pay for
  • A woman sitting on a couch talking to another woman in a therapy session
  • all of this, and I am so incredibly grateful for that. Despite all the help I'm getting, I'm not doing well mentally. My room is a wreck despite trying to clean it for weeks, I struggle in almost all my classes (I'm failing two), and I usually stay up until 2AM and sleep until 10AM.
  • My parents have decided the best way to get me out of my bed and get me to be productive is to take my mattress. They have done this multiple times. They come in at 7AM, no matter how late I was up before, take off all my blankets, sheets, pillows, etc., and throw them on the floor, then take my mattress to their room. They
  • A close up of a white quilted mattress top
  • don't return it until around 8- 11PM. I've tried talking with them, telling them that it really bothers me. I've even given them different ideas for punishments (ex. Taking my phone), but they said that that "won't work". They've told me they just don't know what to do with me anymore. I've talked to multiple people in my life who know my parents personally, and they say that this is insane.
  • However, I'm not sure. I know im lazy. My depression is at an all time high, but I do lay in bed most of the time. I take naps and spend whatever free time I have laying down. I just don't know what to do. Any advice is appreciated, thanks in advance.
  • (Summary: I struggle with my mental health and lay in bed a lot, my parents have decided to deal with this by taking away my mattress.)
  • Firm_Bank_1963 Depression and ADHD? I know you said depression, I struggle with depression and ADHD and I was this way. Not every antidepressant works with every person. Talk to your therapist. Revisit what meds and what doses so that you can find the combination and dosage that works best for you. My son (35) also struggles with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. He's unmedicated by choice. He functions enough to maintain a job, shower, and clean clothes. Outside of that he spends 99% of his time o
  • PlushCinnamon You are completely right to point out that treatment is not one size fits all. OP is clearly trying but their meds and routine might not be the right combo yet, and that can make everything feel ten times heavier. Their parents taking the mattress is only adding stress and shame instead of helping with the actual issue. What OP needs is proper support and a treatment plan that actually works for them, not punishment. Their dad choosing not to treat his own mental health only shows
  • Firm_Bank_1963 I didn't see where the dad is struggling and unmedicated. But, yes, OP needs lots of support. Maybe the therapist can help find a good way to communicate with parents or even have a family session with parents to discuss things.
  • kem81 The next time you talk to your therapist, let them know. This sounds like a medication issue. You might be on one that causes sleep issues. You may need a different strength. If you are not seeing a therapist that can prescribe, see about changing to 1 that can. Your level of depression should not be considered normal when its taking up this much of your life. Obligatory - not a doctor. You are not lazy, and you deserve to have a normalish life.
  • Petal Whisp You are completely right that this sounds less like laziness and more like something in OP's treatment plan not doing what it should. When depression is this overwhelming, it usually means the meds need adjusting or a prescriber needs to take another look. OP deserves a life that doesn't feel like an uphill battle every single day, and talking to their therapist or doctor about these symptoms is a solid step toward that.
  • Walking-Wanderer352 I don't support your parents removing your mattress, but... they may genuinely feel stuck and not know what to do for the best. It sounds like you're feeling stuck too. What you're experiencing is tough and you are not to blame. However, the way you are living at the moment will be further impacting your low mood. Are there any small steps or tasks you do feel able to do at the moment, could you start with trying to do those steps consistently?
  • _Brynhildr Yeah no this is insane behavior. I can imagine that them saying "we just don't know what to do with you anymore," and taking away your mattress is probably making things harder for you. Maybe ask if your therapist can talk to them. Does your therapist know about this? Also people's suggestions of changing meds are good ideas.
  • stepatdis Oh God please, insane behavior? Insane behavior would be to throw your kid out on the streets the second they turn 18. Insane would be to leave their kid to rot in their room until they are in their 40s. These parents it sounds, like they have exhausted all other possibilities and are just trying to figure out a way to get their child help.
  • Dry-Session-388 Time to get a job and move out
  • RoryGirl7 OP I have a job, but it doesn't pay nearly enough to move out :( I'm trying to get a better paying one

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