39-year-old stepmother tells entitled 18-year-old to move out after she refuses to be kind to her 10-year-old stepsister: 'If she hates us so much then she can leave'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Nov 30, 2025 8:00 AM EST

This stepmother refused to let her 18-year-old stepdaughter call all the shots.

When you're joining a pre-exisiting family unit as a new member, it can be hard to fit in while asserting your own autonomy. Any stepparent inherently understands this struggle. That being said, there comes a point when you have to stand up for yourself when you're disrespected.

Sure, it can take time for people to get used to your presence, and that requires work and effort from both parties to allow everyone to feel like they have a seat at the table and that they can express themselves to their fullest within the family unit. In this case, years of adjustment had passed, and this 18-year-old stepdaughter was still giving her stepmother a hard time.

However, the straw that broke the camel's back really came when the stepdaughter extended that level of disrespect to her 10-year-old stepsister. It's one thing to be unkind to a 39-year-old woman. It's quite another to be unnecessarily out of order with someone who is just barely double digits.

Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions from several members of this online community.

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  • A mother and teenage daughter have an argument on the couch.
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "[Am I wrong] for telling my stepdaughter that she can leave if she hates us so much?"

    My (39f) husband (40 m) has a daughter (18 f) from his previous marriage, Eliana. She has always been mean towards me and her little sister (10f).Eliana's mom died while giving birth so it has always been her and her dad so i
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  • assumed that maybe it was because she feels like we took him from her.i tried my best to make her feel better but that never happened and things got worse when her little sister was born
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  • She says horrible things about my looks and my body which hurts because I am very insecure when it comes to my body. she doesn't respect anything I or her father say or any of the rules in
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  • the house, she steals stuff from the house, She always finds ways to annoy me and oh boy does she like to say "I hate you". She treats her little sister like poop and doesn't want a relationship with her. She doesn't even answer her phone anymore.
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  • Me and my husband have talked about her behavior and tried everything to make it stop but she gets worse everything we try to fix things as a family. I have suggested therapy but she doesn't want to do it. She acts like a child
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  • Well 2 week ago was her father's 40th bday and we had a little surprise party for him, I asked her if she could stay and decorate with us but she refused saying that she will go out with her friends.
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  • Even when the party started I called her multiple times to tell her that the party started but she didn't answer and she came home after the cake was cut and people were already leaving.
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  • she was angry at me for celebrating without her but I told her that I DID try to call her and that she didn't answer. She started accusing me of not wanting her and called me
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  • terrible names and said that she hates everyone of us and I told her that if she hates us so much then she can leave. she left the house and hasn't returned yet. We have been calling all of our relatives but she is not there.
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  • A mother and teenage daughter have an argument on the couch.
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • OP [deleted] Two hour old account. No replies by OP. Zero mention of what the father is doing during all of this. I'm going with a fake story and a poor attempt at karma farming.
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  • OP [deleted] And it should have started when he decided to remarry, and continued when he had a second child. He is to blame for being a MIA parent all these years. Created his own monster!
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  • Natenat04 Why isn't your husband shutting her down, and taking charge of the situation? If he doesn't do anything then he approves of this behavior.
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  • OP [deleted] I agree wholeheartedly. My mom's fiancé was brasive and at times verbally abusive to her earlier on. She knew I wouldn't stand for living under the same roof with him (and he did mellow out and correct his tone when speaking to my mom over time). She definitely wasn't going to marry him while I was still a minor, knowing how seriously I disapproved. Perhaps OP and husband just sort of ended up under the same roof, though. Life happens. One of them could have fallen on hard times, an
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  • frolicndetour Yea it kind of just sounds like they did what they wanted, thinking the stepdaughter would fall in line eventually, which is just dumb.
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  • OP [deleted] 5 hours and no replies with 1300 up votes. Unbelievable
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  • bexkali Right?? No info about what father did (if anything) - because he doesn't exist.
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  • OP [deleted] Exactly!!
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  • jigglypufff17 So, where was therapy for her as a child growing up without her mom? Where was family therapy 10+ years ago when she hadn't taken to you and you wanted to marry her dad and start a new family? Where is her dad in all this drama? Sounds like no one took the time to do the work early on and now everyone is suffering. ESH, but you and dad most of all because you're the parents and should've been dealing with this years ago and getting help if you couldn't.
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  • OP [deleted] The reason is he didn't stop her horrid behavior years ago!
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  • Ragadast335 Your husband should sit her down and talk to her, and if it's necessary, she can go and live by herself. She seems too entitled, but maybe there's a reason behind that.
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  • OP [deleted] Your husband is not parenting his child. This is the problem. This is his job.
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  • OP [deleted] Honestly, I feel for her. No doubt losing her mother was traumatic. When you and her dad decided to get married and have a child, did you take her feelings into consideration? Honestly, I think it's pathetic for a 39 year old to stoop down to the level of someone who's barely an adult. You should've been the bigger person.
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  • OP [deleted] NTA. I hope she's found safely. It sounds like she should have been evaluated a long time ago. And, now that she's 18 I'm not sure how much luck you'll have convincing her that she needs to be. Not liking a person and being verbally abusive are very different things. You may need to make therapy or an eval the condition of her remaining there, with the approval of your husband, of course. But, no, you're definitely not the AH. No one deserves to be verbally abused, especially not in
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  • OP [deleted] This is a husband problem. You can't fix this. She needs therapy on her own and family therapy as a group. This should have been done when you got married but it's never too late to start.
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family drama stepmother aita entitled parents AITAH teenagers family feud entitled people karma family stepsister entitled people
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