Hairstylist left furious, after discovering via Instagram, that her sister-in-law goes for monthly luxury spa treatments, despite demanding she do her hair for free due to tight finances: 'I should've cut her off a long time ago'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Dec 3, 2025 4:00 PM EST

No favor feels too big when it's for someone we love, whether it costs us time, skill, or both. But at what point do repeated favors become unspoken expectations? Where does one draw the line between "helping out" and being taken for granted? And when it comes to family, especially our in-laws, is that boundary-breaking finish line crossed even faster, or does it all depend on the weight of their requests?

This hairdresser was happy to trim and tidy her sister-in-law's hair for free. They'd never discussed finances, so she didn't know whether the free services were expected out of a financial need or simply because they were "family." Either way, she wanted to keep the peace and make her husband happy, so she kept trimming and snipping away…until those simple favors turned into full color treatments and professional cuts worth nearly $300 at her salon. Suddenly, she wasn't just offering her time and skill, but she was losing out on real monthly income. 

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  • And still, she probably would have stayed quiet if it weren't for one particular Instagram post of her sister-in-law posing at a luxury spa, bragging about her “monthly self-care days.” Wait, monthly? If she could afford an expensive spa day on the regular, she could certainly afford to pay for her own haircut. At that point, it wasn’t about money anymore, it was about being taken advantage of.

  • 01
    Woman getting a surprising text while another woman gets her hair washed at salon
    via jacoblund

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITJ for refusing to give my SIL free haircuts after seeing her post about monthly spa days?

    just assumes it's free because we're family i've been doing her hair for free for probably 2 years now?
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 03
    maybe longer idk. a full color and cut at my salon would be like $200-300 depending on what she wants.
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 04
    so i'm losing out on that money plus the time i could be taking an actual paying client my husband keeps saying "it's family just help her out" and i didn't want to cause drama so i just kept doing it last week keisha posts on instagram at this fancy spa place.
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 05
    like the kind with the robes and the cucumber water and everything. caption is "monthly self care day treating myself because i deserve it" with a bunch of spa emojis MONTHLY.
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 06
    she goes MONTHLY i'm doing her hair for free and she's spending probably $150+ on spa days every month so i texted her and said hey i saw your post, looks like you're doing well financially.
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 07
    Surprised woman receiving a text
    via gladkov2

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    going forward i'm going to need to charge you regular price for hair services or you can find another stylist she FLIPPED OUT.
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 09
    called me greedy. said family is supposed to help each other. that i'm being petty about an instagram post and i don't know her financial situation i said if you can afford monthly spa days you can afford to pay for your hair she told marcus i'm being a bitch and now there's this whole family thing.
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 10
    marcus thinks i'm being petty and that i should've just talked to her in person instead of over text.
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 11
    his mom is mad at me too apparently my best friend says i should've cut her off a long time ago and that keisha's been using me but like.
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 12
    maybe i am being petty? it was just an instagram post. maybe she's spending money she doesn't have on the spa thing and i'm making assumptions aitj for cutting off the free hair services?
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 13
    TL;DR: Been doing my SIL's hair for free for 2 years, she posts about monthly luxury spa days, I told her she needs to start paying.
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 14
    Now the family thinks I'm being petty and greedy. AITJ?
    via Present_Weird_1266
  • 15
    Ptb1852 Family IS supposed to help each other out. It's time she helped you out by paying
    via Ptb1852
  • 16
    NTJ pickledgum_ftw Your friend is right on saying you should have cut her off a while ago. However, your husband is also part of the issue. If he can't back you up on this, what else is he not backing you up on.
    via pickledgum_ftw
  • 17
    Woman getting a facial at a spa
    via truecreatives

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    RaiselreSetFires NTJ Tell your husband you'll keep doing his sister's hair once he agrees to do $6000+ worth of help/work for your family that he owes you and continues to do $200-$300 worth of work/help every month. Family helps family right?
    via RaiselreSetFires
  • 19
    Constantly_Curious- NTJ - she's more than not paying for your professional time, she's not paying for your salon level products. A decent adult would have offered to pay. Keisha's been using you. Tell Marcus he can pay for hair styling if it's that important to him.
    via Constantly_Curious-
  • 20
    CatCharacter848 I suspect your husband doesn't understand how much a cut, colour ect is. Explain you'll happily do her hair if he reimburses you. He should be sticking up for you. I don't know what he does for a living but ask if he would give his services every month for free to one of your family members.
    via CatCharacter848
  • 21
    Turbulent Display749 \> plus the time i could be taking an actual paying client To me, this is key. She's not just not paying, she's taking money out of your pocket. NTJ
    via Turbulent_Display749
  • 22
    spaceylaceygirl Does your husband understand how much these services cost? He's acting like you just play with her hair once a month. I think he's disrespecting you as a stylist.
    via spaceylaceygirl
  • 23
    Tbluberry86 Nope. Know your worth. If she respected you, she would pay. Just because she's family doesn't mean she can take advantage of you.
    via Tbluberry86
  • 24
    crystalplume NTJ. This is a classic case of someone exploiting the "family" card to get professional services they'd otherwise have to budget for. The spa post just ripped away the plausible deniability. If she were truly struggling, she wouldn't be posting about monthly luxury treatments. She's mad because you called her bluff and now she actually has to account for the real cost of maintaining her appearance.
    via crystalplume
  • 25
    BlueSkyMourning NTJ My sister is a hair stylist. I pay her as she has bills to pay. I come at her convenience as well. Sometimes I'm broke or it's birthday then I'll let her do it for free, but I slip her something if I can. This is her work. Respect that and asking for additional services requires time, supplies and skill. Those are expenses she bears so payment is appropriate to cover them and time lost that could've been spent on a regular client. It's about valuing the work of another. Being
    via BlueSkyMourning

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