Dad leaves his fortune to his daughter 5 years before he passes, leaving nothing to his son, who barely saw him for 12 years: 'My brother still thinks he is going to inherit a fortune and is already planning how to spend it.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 3, 2025 8:00 AM EST

His dad should've told him that he was getting nothing when he was alive.

Many people feel entitled to their family members' money. We all know someone who thinks that they deserve thousands of dollars from their grandparents upon their passing, even though they made no effort to have a relationship with them when they were alive. The best way to approach the possibility of receiving an inheritance is with a neutral attitude. If you don't get an inheritance, that's okay because it was never your money to begin with, so you didn't lose out on anything. If you do get an inheritance, that's cool too, but at the end of the day, you'd rather have that person still be alive than have their money. It makes you want to use their money in a way that honors them, rather than wasting it on something of little value.

If you're planning your will and you're going to give one kid everything and the other kid nothing, you should at least give the kid getting nothing the dignity of knowing this before you pass away. A lot of people won't do this, leaving the sibling in a guilty position, feeling obliged to give their sibling money, even if that was not their parents' wish.

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  • An adult daughter visiting her senior father at home and having coffee together looking at book
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The dad in this story put his daughter in a bad position, and now she's going to have to be the one to break it to her brother that she got everything and he's getting nothing.

  • I inherit everything from my dad. My brother basically nothing. Am I the ah?

    In the days before my mother died, my brother and his family came to us for christmas eve and left early in the morning of the 25th to spend christmas lunch with her folks. After my mothers death in 2013, my dad (I looked after him full time), me and my son have not seen them again for any family celebration. Him and
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • his wife only came once or twice in the year- not to visit but sleep over while being here for business and shopping. My dad successfully transferred all his money and car to my name 5 years ago. He always said that |
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  • should use the interest of the money to help me out when I retire or buy myself my dream home. Dad passed away this year. His instructions to me were clear that my brother should get nothing besides his share of the family home. I was to empty his
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • An adult daughter visiting her senior father at home and playing chess together
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • remaining accounts when he died and was made custodian of the accounts. I did not do this though as I felt sorry for my brother and felt like a thief. My brother does not know any of this. There is now very little money left in the estate besides the old delapidated house that needs to go to both of us. It will cost
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • A run down house with a red roof
    via Dominique Hicks

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • hundreds of thousands to fix it. Probably needs to be scrapped. My brother still thinks he is going to inherit a fortune and is already planning how to spend it. He wants me to take the house and he will take the money. There is not enough money left in the estate for this to happen.
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • Only my brother came to dad's funeral. His wife and sons apparantly could not get off from work. However he needed to leave straight after the ceremony to drive home to pack his car for a family trip to the coast. I am now very bitter that him and his family could not even set aside this little time for dad.
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  • Am I tah for insisting he gets 50% ownership of the house and keeping quiet about dad's money? If the house gets sold, we should each still get a small fortune as it is built on prime property. The yard is too big for me to maintain all on my own and I want to downscale for my retirement next year
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • Mission_Put274 Give him what your father left him. He doesn't deserve that
    via u/Mission_Put274
  • OP Alternative-Cow-8670 Thank you. One side of me says this. The other side makes me feel like a thief
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  • Standard-Banana-2265 I was in the same position. Family never came near my mother while alive. They got exactly what she put in her will and I got the house and cash that was left after they got their cut. One brother thought I should give our sister more cash. I declined his request and haven't seen them in 8 years. They didn't care to see me before our mother died, Ive moved on.
    via u/Standard-Banana-2265
  • OP Alternative-Cow-8670 When my brother came for the funeral he removed everything that could remind of him from the house. I literally don't have a single photo left of him or any of his family. All other items too which were here. Blankets which my mom bought for them to use. Picture frames from his bedroom when he was little. Everything. Its as though he divorced himself from my son and me.
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • dave65gto If the money is not part of the estate, it's not part of the estate. You follow the will's instructions. If you want to gift your brother some of your assets, it's your choice, not the requirements of the estates. PS... don't do it.
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  • OP Alternative-Cow-8670 Thank you. I copied this comment and will put it onto my fridge to look at if doubts overcome me
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  • GarthMater Ask yourself, truly, if he was in your situation would he give you anything? The answer is no. So honor your brothers actions of who he has shown to be. How he treated your father. Honor your father's wishes. If your brother knows he isn't getting anything and tries to repair the relationship still don't do it. Motivation is screwed.
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  • OP Alternative-Cow-8670 Tha's what Dad used to say about my brother.
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • TheRealRedParadox YTA for feeling guilty. Your brother and you are entitled to nothing from your father morally. Respect your fathers wishes and don't give your brother a cent.
    via u/TheRealRedParadox
  • OP Alternative-Cow-8670 I am trying.
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • Toni Anne1989 NTA. Thief implies you stole it. Your father intended for you to have it and gave it to you.... How can you steal something that is yours? Lol. If anything, consider it the backpay for everything you did. Your brother did no work, he gets no pay. **
    via u/Toni_Anne1989
  • OP Alternative-Cow-8670 I never expected anything. I loved my Dadda. I would give all his money away to just have him back. I know this does not make sense. I guess I still hurt too much to even want to touch the money. I reinvested it for at least another 5 years. Maybe I will come to a point where I will feel different one day
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • MisaOEB Do you think your Dad was unfair to your brother? If so I can understand doing this. It's also ok for you to give this gift to your brother. However it may not work out like you think. Your brother might not be grateful. Also, I find it interesting. He wants the money not the property. He's already trying to leave you with the problems to sort. It is definitely a difficult dilemma. It is also okay to give him nothing and say your honour your father's wishes.
    via u/MisaOEB
  • OP Alternative-Cow-8670 I already need to sort out everything around the estete etc. He can apparantly not make the two hour drive to our city to help. He also cannot allow his wife to sleep alone in their house. So if he does come to help, it is to instruct me to do things like get the money out of dad's pension annuity etc. Dad's instructions were clear that the annuity should be split but not paid out. For us to draw a additional pension if we retire. My brother has no love for me. That I kno
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • GreatShrimps That is cold, wow. This may make it easier/clearer to see the way forward, though. His feelings are made clear as day through his actions. Seems like this is the last thing he's sticking around for, the money. Once he has it he'll likely be gone, in that case the outcome is the same either way as far as your relationship with him. If he gets the money you won't see him, if he doesn't you won't see him. NTA! Don't let him get away with this! Enjoy your retirement! Best of luck, OP. S
    via u/GreatShrimps
  • OP Alternative-Cow-8670 Thank you
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • Apart_Insect_8859 I am confused by this. You didn't take the money you inherited from the accounts, and now there is little money left in them. Why? Did you give some to him? Did you use it for the funeral? Was there just not much left to begin with? For some reason, your brother thinks there's a pile of cash sitting in these accounts he's never seen. Enough that he is willing to give you his half of the house in exchange. I think you need to first check with a lawyer on what you are legally req
    via u/Apart_Insect_8859
  • OP Alternative-Cow-8670 Dad had three accounts. The big sum from the investment account, I got before. He asked me to empty account 2. I never knew there were 2 hundred K in it. So I did not empty it. I did not draw any money from it as I thought at that point brother should get something. Account 3 was were his pension got paid in. This account I had no access to. I do not know how much was in there and am waiting for feedback from the executeers. Dad did not need much money as I paid for most
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670
  • Responsible-Scale-98 I'm going to make a "harsh" comment & probably get down voted, but so be it. The fact is OP spelled it out already. Their father already made his terms & wishes VERY clear. The father had his own sensible reasoning behind his decisions. Everything is already set & laid out, in terms of inheritance legalities. So now OP is literally going out of their way to INVITE unnecessary drama into their lives, for a brother who DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT about anything or anyone other than h
    via u/Responsible-Scale-98
  • OP Alternative-Cow-8670 Thanks. I know I deserve a couple of wake-up slaps. It is just that I was made to feel guilty all my life of anything going wrong for my brother and that is hard to let go. I probably need those slaps on a daily basis to snap out of this
    via u/Alternative-Cow-8670

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