Man expects his late wife's family to be grandparents to his new baby with another woman, despite never attending family events when his late wife was alive: ‘I told him he needs to get over it’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 7, 2025 7:00 PM EST

Most of the time, when you marry someone, you're signing up for a relationship with a set of in-laws. A second mother, father, the whole deal. Usually, if your spouse is on good terms with their family, you're expected to show up with them to family events and actually emotionally invest yourself in them. If your spouse is fine with you keeping your distance, then that's another story… but that's usually the exception, not the rule.

If your spouse passes, are you expected to remain in the lives of your in-laws? It's a case-by-case situation, but you probably wouldn't if you didn't keep a close relationship when your late spouse was alive.

So, why is it that the man in this next story expects his ex-mother and father-in-law to be grandparents to his new child with a new woman? The grandparents firmly state that they have no interest in the child's life because it seems like the man is only doing this for selfish reasons. Honestly, what other way do you read this situation? He didn't care about them when his wife was alive, so why should they care about a child who has no emotional connection with or obligation to them? Scroll to read.

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  • 01
    young father holding his newborn baby son in his arms
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "AITA for telling my dad his new baby isn't my grandparents grandchild and he needs to accept they won't be honorary grandparents for his new baby?"

    My mom died 7 years ago. I (19m) was 12 and my sister (21f) was 14.
    via Byryxt
  • 03
    After mom died things changed in the family in big and small ways. My dad had never been close to mom's family.
    via Byryxt
  • 04
    They were civil but never considered each other family. My dad always said he would happily skip family celebrations with mom's family if she had been okay with it.
    via Byryxt
  • 05
    He never felt like he needed to be there. With mom gone he stopped going and let us be over there without him as much as we wanted.
    via Byryxt
  • 06
    Our grandparents and other family were never bothered by this. Last year my dad remarried. His wife has a 6 year old and now they have a baby together.
    via Byryxt
  • 07
    My dad invited my grandparents, aunts and uncles and my cousins 16 or older to the baby shower for the new baby.
    via Byryxt
  • 08
    They all let him know in advance they would not be going and they asked why they were invited in the first place.
    via Byryxt
  • 09
    My dad said he figured they would treat the new baby (and his stepchild) like family and they said no.
    via Byryxt
  • 10
    senior caucasian couple looking solemn
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    They told him they had no reason to have a relationship with his child. My dad still expected them to send gifts but they didn't and they didn't congratulate him when the baby was born.
    via Byryxt
  • 12
    He complained to me and my sister a few times and we told him we didn't get his reaction.
    via Byryxt
  • 13
    So he'd bring up how we're their grandkids and for the sake of family harmony and making us feel like a family they should be inclusive.
    via Byryxt
  • 14
    A couple of days ago dad and I ended up arguing about this very thing. He was badmouthing all the family members and he said they were helping maintain the distance between me and my sister and the baby.
    via Byryxt
  • 15
    He said he knows we don't see either child as our true sibling and our family could help with that.
    via Byryxt
  • 16
    And he said they should be happy to have more grandkids. I told him he needs to get over it because his new baby isn't their grandchild and isn't their family.
    via Byryxt
  • 17
    Dad told me that's the choice they're making and blood doesn't need to be involved. I said they have nothing to do with the baby and never will and he's the only person (other than his wife) who expected any different.
    via Byryxt
  • 18
    My dad went on a rant about how I'm viewing it poorly and how I should be expecting a relationship between my family members.
    via Byryxt
  • 19
    He said I am supporting the exclusion of a baby and young child. AITAH?
    via Byryxt

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family drama baby grandfather in laws newborn grandmother children
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