20-year-old works 2 jobs while living with family, protests when mom insists she pays $1000 rent with a $125 increase every 6 months: 'She is starting to take it too far'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 5, 2025 9:00 PM EST

The job of a parent doesn't stop when kids grow up.

In fact, some might argue that the unique challenges of parenting young adult children can even rival some of the other stages of child-rearing. Unless they are the type to kick them out of the house at 18 and not give them any more support, there is a lot to be done in terms of encouraging independence, and maybe offering advice so that they can avoid any bad mistakes.

At the same time, being somebody who is on the cusp of independence but still in need of parental support can be frustrating. Sometimes it seems totally inappropriate and overbearing, and other times, it can feel like parents are being way too harsh. Trying to find the balance in the relationship when the transition from child to adult is so recent can be difficult on both ends, and something that provokes arguments.

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  • a young woman looks upset as she sits and hugs a pillow
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a 20-year-old college student who was working two jobs was frustrated with her mom due to her demands when it came to paying rent and bills. While she lived with her family, her mom had numerous strict conditions surrounding how much she would pay towards the expenses, as well as an expectation that rent would increase for every 6 months she lived there.

    She felt like this was unfair and put too much pressure on her to contribute when she had other responsibilities, but she feared her mom wouldn't take it well when she wanted to have a discussion about it. She wanted to know if she was being unreasonable.

  • Am I in the wrong for thinking my mother’s rent is unfair?

    I (20F) still live with my family. My mom has a set of rules that I've been comfortable with so far, but now I'm starting to question if she is starting to take it too far.
    via Vix_Veee
  • For context we live in the Bay Area. I work two min wage jobs, feed myself for the most part and only take leftovers from the fridge if I'm a little short on money at the moment. I keep to my room and the kitchen since it's right next to my room, only venturing to the other end of
    via Vix_Veee
  • the house to do my laundry. I make a point to never ask anything from her and tell her very little of my activities outside of work and school because she usually likes to use it against me when we get into arguments. I pay her $573 for monthly bills (car insurance/payment, phone, and bridge toll)
    via Vix_Veee
  • an older woman's hands holding a jar full of dollar bills
    via Karolina Grabowska (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Her rules for me living under her roof are: • Go to school full time (4 classes) = no need to pay rent • Go to school part time (less than 4 classes) and work part time = pay rent • Flunk a class = not considered full time, so I have to pay rent • Rent starts at $500 and goes up $125 every 6 months (it goes up regardless of whether I pay rent or not)
    via Vix_Veee
  • Now I agree the first three rules are fair, but the last one has started to upset me lately, especially after talking with my friends who also pay rent. At first I went to school part-time and paid the $500, then it went up to $625, and when it was about to get to $750, I went
    via Vix_Veee
  • to school full time to save my money a bit. Unfortunately I've failed one of my 4 classes and will have to go back to paying rent, which is now $1000.
    via Vix_Veee
  • I'm happy to pay rent by all means, but $1000? With my other bills on top of that my monthly pay would come out to $1573, I've talked to my other friends about their rent and most have said they pay $300-$600, which I think is completely reasonable, and I'm considering
    via Vix_Veee
  • bringing the rent price up to my mom. It'll end up in an argument either way, but I want to know am I being unreasonable/ungrateful? I really don't think I am but every time I try to express my side, she always manages to end up the victim. I'm all for self reflection and self improvement, so I'd really appreciate some outside takes on this
    via Vix_Veee
  • an open refrigerator door in a dark kitchen
    via nrd
  • Low_Notice4665 I don't think you're wrong per se. Is she hurting for money? You need to find some friends and live in dorm like housing where each person gets their own rental agreement. My kiddo split a four bedroom and paid 800 a month which included covered parking.
    via Low_Notice4665
  • OP Vix_Veee No, she and my stepdad take frequent trips, attend concerts, and are pretty open about being able to live comfortably. I've talked with a close friend and we're looking at housing options around the area together. Ty for the reply :)
    via Vix_Veee
  • eemmlee I'm curious who is paying for your schooling. This makes a big difference as well.
    via eemmlee
  • OP Vix_Veee I handle my own school payments, I usually fill out FAFSA to make it more manageable
    via Vix_Veee
  • oroscor 1 I would definitely look at what the rent you pay is vs. what the equivalent in your area is.
    via oroscor1
  • Apprehensive War9612 She's incentivizing you to go to school and work hard. She isn't even demanding a specific gpa, just that you don't fail. 4 classes is not that much. YITW
    via Apprehensive_War9612
  • Geblank She's trying to incentivize you to keep at school and move out. What is the market rate for a one bedroom in the Bay Area?
    via Geblank
  • United-Plum1671 You're wrong. Move out then. She wants you to have your shit together and not fail in school.
    via United-Plum1671
  • Solid_Violinist_5759 Personally see if you can afford to go in with someone and house share else where. She seems very pricey. Unless of course that's her way of getting you to leave. maybe. By having your own place you don't have her rules. You are 20 like.
    via Solid_Violinist_5759
  • Ok_but_youre_wrong Over what time span is this taking place? Years? One semester? If it jumped from $625 to $1,000 in the span of one or two semesters, that would seem a bit harsh and as if she weren't following her own original agreement. However, if the original rate was $500 four years ago and is now $1,000, that's the horse of a different color.
    via Ok_but_youre_wrong
  • Budyob You cannot compare your situation with your friends because you do not know your friend's parent's situation or mind set. Do not say to your mother so and so only pays whatever. What your friends pay has nothing to do with your family situation. Do you know how much your insurance and car payment are? Is there a reason your mother pays this and not you? 573.00 sounds reasonable for car payment and insurance as well as toll. Is the 1K above these cost? Can you take over paying these direct
    via Budyob
  • OwnedBySchipperke And many parents save the "rent" all or part to give to kids when they move out. Not sure if the mom here is doing that.
    via OwnedBySchipperke

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