Mom demands 17-year-old babysit 12 and 4-year-old siblings during her honeymoon, protests when she refuses because she has to attend college: 'She insisted it was a one time thing'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 20, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Parenting is about putting children first, not using them as free labor.

While it can be a difficult thing to accept for some, having kids means taking on the responsibility that those kids are properly cared for above anything else. Of course, parents deserve a break now and then, and of course, becoming a mom or dad should not mean giving up everything else that you enjoy, but it can't be denied that some sacrifice has to be involved.

Often, the hardest part about being a parent and trying to have it all is figuring out the childcare arrangements when you can't be with your kids for whatever reason. It can be tempting to dump them on relatives, and even eldest children, as an easy way out of paying the big bucks for something like daycare. However, this does not take into account if these family members have their own commitments, and it can prove a very selfish way to behave.

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  • a young woman and a boy sit together, looking downwards
    via Hrant Khachatryan (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a young woman found herself in a disagreement with her mom and stepdad after they expected her to take on all the childcare for her two younger siblings while they went away on a 4 day honeymoon. The mom reasoned that after the wedding, vacation, and taking out a loan to buy land, their budget would not stretch to getting a paid babysitter.

    However, the 17-year-old was adamant that she couldn't take on the responsibility full-time as she was a medical student at university, and had a lot of classes each day that she didn't want to miss. Many thought she was being selfish, and she wanted to validate her point of view.

  • AITA for not babysitting my 2 siblings during my mom's honeymoon?

    Okay, I don't think I am the asshole but everyone is telling me I am so i need extra points of view here. I am 17 and i just started university. My mom married "Marcus" one month ago and she is going on her honeymoon this month. The duration is 4 days. I am the older sister, i have 2 siblings one with 12y and other with 4. And my mother told me I would have to babysit them while she and her husband are in their honeymoon.
    via BreakfastRelative664
  • I've always babysat them in the afternoon since both my mom and Marcus work. But i can only babysit them after 3pm, cause of my classes. I told them they would have to get a babysitter for the morning because the 12 is in school already but the 4 year old isn't, and i cant just miss 4 entire days of classes to stay with him.
    via BreakfastRelative664
  • She said she can't do that because they spent a lot of money on this honeymoon and the wedding and they are also paying a loan they used to buy a land to build a house. I told her, that I really can't miss this classes, I study medicine so watching the classes is extremely important, not to mention I have practice classes which i have a limited amount of times i can't miss. She insisted saying it was a one time thing and that "she can't have anything". Marcus said i had this responsibility since
    via BreakfastRelative664
  • I refused, and they are telling everyone about it, and everyone is taking their side. I don't get it? Am I being selfish here? I have classes from 9am to 3pm almost everyday. The 12y enters school at 8:15 so i can drop him off. But i cant leave the 4y alone and i can't also stay home to be with him.
    via BreakfastRelative664
  • Please tell me if I'm in the wrong and be brutally honest. And if you have any advice i would deeply appreciate it.
    via BreakfastRelative664
  • a couple sitting in a gondola together
    via Karsten Winegeart

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • GreekAmericanDom NTA Your mother's poor planning is not your emergency. This is something she should have discussed with you, not demanded, long before the plans were set. And of course you shouldn't miss your classes.
    via GreekAmericanDom
  • slendermanismydad Marcus said i had this responsibility since I'm their older sister. What the hell is wrong with adults? This isn't your responsibility and it's your problem. They need to find an adult to help them. NTA.
    via slendermanismydad
  • Blushiba 17 year olds arent responsible for their siblings. Their parents are.
    via Blushiba
  • day-dreamersins69 So they organized a honeymoon but not child care... Nta. It is not your responsibility to discard classes because your mother and Marcus are careless in their planning. You are a good sibling for offering to look after them in the evenings.
    via day-dreamersins69
  • Parking-Hair-4643 Sure, honeymoon is nothing easy to organise and honeymoon is important, but your education is important too. It's your future, and you are not a parent to be a temporary mom for your siblings, so I think that a babysitter is definitely not a bad option, especially since it's only four days. Medicine is hard to catch up on, too. Missing even the smallest details can become a complex problem.
    via Parking-Hair-4643
  • jmg4craigslists NTA! You are in school and have commitments. And you did not say no. You told her what you can do! You made a reasonable request for her to find coverage for the day as a 4 year old can not go to class with you. Your mother cannot expect you to drop your academic commitments because she is traveling. Especially when finals are around the corner.
    via jmg4craigslists
  • Do you have friends on campus that you trust that you could ask for help? If not, your mom needs to finds someone for the four days.
    via jmg4craigslists
  • Positive_Comfort1216 NTA. Your mom and step dad should realize the importance of your classes and that you can't miss that many days. It could ruin your whole semester, each class covers so much information. Have mom and Marcus gone to University? They should know better and they should find another sitter for when you are in school.
    via Positive_Comfort1216
  • GingerWhoDrinks Tea NTA You're not even a legal adult. She's expecting you ditch school while she's away to be her unpaid 24hr childcare.
    via GingerWhoDrinksTea
  • ivylass NTA. Honey, you're in med school. You barely have time to eat, much less take care of your siblings. Tell everyone who is on their side that you are appreciative they are offering to babysit since you can't. Go to your classes and good luck.
    via ivylass
  • PuzzleheadedData3023 NTA. First of all, ur not a third parent. Second of all, they didn't ask, they told. N third of all, no honeymoon is more important than education. If they needed u to babysit they should have A, asked and B, planned the honeymoon for a time when u would be out of class.
    via PuzzleheadedData3023
  • recebba1 NTA what do they do when they work? You need to worry about your studies. If they cannot find daycare during the day then maybe one of your family who are taking their side should step up and take them.
    via recebba1
  • Emotional_Fan_7011 NTA. Find somewhere to stay a day or so before they leave and don't come back until after they have left. Other people can watch the kids for free.
    via Emotional_Fan_7011
  • RRW2020 NTA. So... they've spent money on a wedding, a new house, and a honeymoon... but don't have money left over to take care of their children?!? Even if they are your sisters, taking care of them is their responsibility and not yours. Ever. Your classes are way more important.
    via RRW2020
  • a small group of students sit in a classroom, taking notes as a female professor writes on a whiteboard
    via Kübra Arslaner (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She revealed that she had found a solution.

    Edit: I'm not sure if everyone will see this, i dont think we can pin comments. But i talked with one of my cousins and he accepted taking care of my 4y brother during the time im in class. His wife loves kids and they dont have any yet so she said it would be a good experience! I havent told my mother so im not sure how she'll react!
    via BreakfastRelative664

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