'I gave up everything to move here, I don't want to have to give up my dog too': Boyfriend insists girlfriend moves in early just to set ultimatum on her dog

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Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Dec 8, 2025 1:00 PM EST

Look, we're not relationship advisers. We're not a lot of things, and we happily admit we don't know much about many subjects. But there's one thing we know about, and that's dogs. We know what it takes to raise a dog, the highs and lows of having a fluffy four-legged friend at home, and the endless love every dog pawrent feels for their cozy canine companion. We know it's not always such a smooth ride, but when is it ever? With any pet, any kid, any human connection… It never is. So, we're not relationship advisers, but we can definitely say a thing or two about how a dog is treated within a relationship.

Everyone enters a relationship with baggage, big or small, bad or good. And some of this baggage is not just good - it's a good boy or girl. Like this woman who moved in with her boyfriend with her lovely doggo, who's a little anxious, but generally a very good girl. Sure, she had her difficulties with the move - but what pet wouldn't? With some patience and love, it should get solved. But some people, apparently, lack that sentiment towards good doggos. And in this case? It's the boyfriend. No patience for her anxious "woopsies", no love for her doggo deeds, and just general annoyance from her. He promised he won't let his girlfriend choose between him and the dog - but he broke that promise. Along with many other red flags he raised.

Again, we're not relationship advisers. But we can give this advice to any dog pawrent out there, with no hesitation or second thought - when a partner makes you choose between them and your pet, you always choose your pet. No questions asked. You are your pet's whole entire world. Pets give unconditional love - and if the person you date gives conditions to their love, they're not worth it. Definitely if the condition is giving up your precious pet.

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  • 01
    I have a problem. My life has been really great since moved in with my boyfriend.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 02
    My depression got better and I was really happy with life for a while. I moved in 3 months ago.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 03
    We're together for like a year. (He desperately wanted me to move in so early, I was unsure) But now my boyfriend doesn't like my dog.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10584028672
    via New-Security-5121

  • One look at that delightful doggo and you just know she's a good girl. She smiles, she enjoys a nice walk outdoors, and by what her hooman describes next - she just does regular dog things. Some people don't know dogs, and these “dog things” might be weird in their point of view - but that's a learning curve. Not what this good girl's hooman mama had to deal with…

  • 05
    And I don't know how to deal with it. I gave up everything to move here, and I can't and don't want to go back.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 06
    But I also don't want to give up my dog. I mean, I kind of understand.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 07
    If you've never had a dog before and don't know what life with a dog is like, and then suddenly there's one, it probably feels overwhelming.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 08
    Now he's really upset because the cats knocked something off his desk, and my dog chewed up what he 3D-printed.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 09
    (For dnd, not even something with much work or not even painted or whatever) He already told me when I left something on my desk and the cats knocked it off, and it got completely ruined that it was my fault.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 10
    I accepted it because, yeah, it was my fault. But he "can't deal with that filthy mutt anymore." And, my dog has a pillow she likes to cuddle and nibble on.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 11
    It gives her comfort. He got upset that he stepped on it and it was wet with her saliva.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 12
    He also got upset that my dog, out of curiosity, went to his cat, who was on his lap, and the cat scratched his nose because she got scared.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 13
    "All that alone today. It's too much. I can't do this anymore." He's also Mad that my dog peed in his flat after I moved (she's a really scared dog and has anxiety quickly.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 14
    It probably happened because we moved) and she peed in his flat because she had a UTI not long ago.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 15
    "She peed TWICE in my flat in 3 months. That's outragous" And he's mad that she suddenly can't keep herself clean anymore on her period (normally she kept herself clean, im confused myself on why she is like that now, but she would be sterilized soon anyways) I don't know what to do.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 16
    It's just awful. He promised me at the beginning, "I'll never make you choose between Coco and me." But now it's basically like this.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 17
    I moved over 400 km to be with him, I gave up my whole life, and I have NOTHING left.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 18
    I don't want to have to give up my dog too. I won't even talk about stuff his cats do that just annoys me because it's not relevant.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 19
    But there is stuff. But apparently it's not Bad because "The cats are smaller and if they do something it's not to the extend of a dog" I was so, SO hopful because my dog gets along with the cats very well now.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 20
    I'm scared and worried. My dog saved my life more than once and got me through a toxic and abusive relationship.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 21
    I really, like REALLY don't wanna let her go after all of this Tl;dr I moved 400km to my boyfriend, and I'm dependent on him now because I don't have anything.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 22
    My boyfriend doesn't like my dog because she does dog stuff. What the fuck do I do now?
    via New-Security-5121
  • 23
    couple in an argument, man yells at the woman with his hand in motion, woman turns her back on the man and looking sad
    via Timur Weber from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 24
    Mammoth_Effective_68 I would never leave him alone with your dog either. He's trying to isolate you and knew your vulnerabilities. Where were you before this living before this? No family or friends?
    via Mammoth_Effective_68
  • 25
    OP New-Security-5121 Before I lived here, I lived a year alone. I took time to recover from my toxic ex (which actually isolated me and took away all my friends). I moved in with my toxic ex to leave my toxic family. So, no. Toxic family and no friends because of my ex. I had hope to have a restart with someone new, somewhere new. I'm heartbroken and hopeless.
    via New-Security-5121
  • 26
    Special_Acadia247 I'm on your side but can you explain to me your process during your dogs period? Are you not putting her in diapers? I've never heard of making a dog clean themselves up entirely the whole day... I will also admit that an adult dog shouldn't be having accidents unless you left them alone too long. Time to get the pup fixed and find a new bf!
    via Special_Acadia247
  • 27
    OP New-Security-5121 Well, I've never seen any spots before, and I watched her very closely when she was on her period. She was always constantly picking and cleaning. I had bought diapers just in case, and now I use them. I'm gonna be honest, yes. The first time she Peed indoors, I took too long to get ready. Was very ashamed of myself and promised myself it wouldn't happen again. The second time, I already thought it was weird, plus she suddenly didn't keep herself clean anymore, so I visited
    via New-Security-5121
  • 28
    licensedtokiln Your boyfriend is already breaking his promise to you that he would never make you choose between him and the dog. You should choose the dog and make arrangements to move. If you give up the dog, you will regret it and you will resent the boyfriend for making you do it. The relationship is already over. Please don't give up your dog.
    via licensedtokiln
  • 29
    Auchincloss Keep the dog. Get rid of the bf. The cat does something wrong. It's your fault. The dog does something wrong. It's your fault. The bf does something wrong (steps on a pillow) and it's your fault. Dear, you are in a toxic, abusive relationship now. It really is okay to be single. I promise. And your pooch needs you.
    via Auchincloss
  • 30
    shedwyn2019 Providing this is true and not rage bait or Al and in any case may help someone else: You have presented a number of red flags
    via shedwyn2019
  • 31
    1. Begging you to move in, 400km from where you lived and presumably have a lot of contacts and support systems. Did he love- bomb you as well? 2. Blaming you for incidents. I get the impression there may be more. 3. You have a history of being in abusive relationships.
    via shedwyn2019
  • 32
    Your dog is responding to stress. Your stress and, I suspect, the stress of being berated and treated disrespectfully by your boyfriend. Wrap yourself in protective armor. Tuck every extra dollar/pound/euro somewhere safe. Ask friends and family for financial, physical, and psychological support. Leave him as soon as you can and move to somewhere where you have a feeling of safety. Then find a therapist and stay single for at least a year of therapy while you work on YOU.
    via shedwyn2019
  • 33
    Electronic-Front-640 This sounds like you're in the beginning stages of another toxic/abusive relationship. It's unfortunately a cycle many survivors end up in.. but these behaviors you're mentioning raise a lot of red flags.
    via Electronic-Front-640
  • 34
    notthinkingaboutthis Your dog will never wake up one morning and tell you that he doesn't love you anymore... boyfriend in the other hand.... Ditch the boyfriend, keep the dog
    via notthinkingaboutthis
  • 35
    abgonzo7588 Dog seems cooler than the boyfriend
    via abgonzo7588
  • 36
    bruf73 Ditch the boyfriend
    via bruf73
  • 37
    Jaded_Jaguar_348 Boyfriends hates your dog = work to be able to leave said boyfriend. Never become dependent on a boyfriend anyway.
    via Jaded_Jaguar_348

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boyfriend feud dogs relationship drama pets relationships girlfriend relationship feud red flag toxic relationship relationship drama couple
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