'I couldn’t believe the audacity': Woman running small business from home debates confronting employee who treats her home like a free buffet, going through her cupboards and taking snacks for home, but fears it will jeopardize their work relationship

Having a small and intimate business means being a tad bit closer to your coworkers…Sometimes, it makes it harder to separate work from friendship and ensure boundaries are not blurred. When businesses are still in their fetal stage, it means a stretched cycle of long days and nights, spent trying to discuss the ways in which the founders and co. wish to nurture and parent their company towards success. Naturally allowing for bonding between coworkers. But when does comfortable become too comfortable?

Let's ask this business owner, who has unfortunately just to just uncovered the answer to that question! She is running her small business from her home, and has thus invited her group of 2-3 employees to come work from there too. She is naturally a host, and wants her employees to feel comfortable in her space, telling them to make themselves at home…a phrase she will soon regret ever letting leave her lips. Especially regarding her one employee's impolite habit of going snack-hunting in her cupboards without permission, and even taking some "for the road"…

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  • She needs to confront her employee, re-educating her on the boundaries of a casual workplace. But she fears that this awkward discussion may have a permanent effect on their relationship! She truly does value her as an employee, and does not want to lose out on her skills, if in the end her employee chooses to remove herself from the situation as a whole. And by situation, we mean the company. 

  • Blonde woman looking for snacks in her cupboard pantry.
    via photoimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • My employee treats my house as a free supermarket, AIO for being upset about it?

    Hey all, here comes my first ever Reddit post! Please give me some advice because I really don't know if this is just me being difficult or if I'm being taken advantage of.
    via grmakisan
  • So I (35f) run a small company with my husband (51m), and we have four people working with us across the world - two of them live in the same city as us.
    via grmakisan
  • Let's call them Bean (35f) and Sprout (mid twenties). Bean and Sprout often come to our house to work on projects together because we don't need an office and we are all remote, however some parts of what we do are physical and need in person work.
    via grmakisan
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  • I've been friends with Bean for years and never had a problem with her, but with Sprout I never really clicked and have always treated her more formally keeping it strictly professional.
    via grmakisan
  • Now the problem - since the very first visit, Sprout took the "make yourself at home" motto a little too literally.
    via grmakisan
  • She opened every cupboard without asking, checked inside every single storage space to see what we have and how we live, and takes out anything she wants from the fridge or cupboards to satisfy all her cravings.
    via grmakisan
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  • Chocolate is her weakness, and as soon as she sees it (we keep it in a bowl in the living room) she doesn't just eat one, she halves the bowl.
    via grmakisan
  • A group of young employees working from an orange couch
    via gettysignature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Today was my last straw and left us all in the room speechless. She was about to leave to catch a train, and she asked me if she could have a packet of crisps - I said sure, thinking she would open it, take a few, share it with us and go.
    via grmakisan
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  • But no, she took a family sized bag, put it in her back pack and then using both hands she dug into the bowl of chocolates grabbing as many as could, saying "ok thanks byeeee" and closing the door behind her.
    via grmakisan
  • I couldn't believe the audacity!!! | could never! But again, am I overreacting? Maybe it's a cultural thing?
    via grmakisan
  • I'm southern European and I love hosting, but also very much need guests to respect my environment and not take my generosity for granted.
    via grmakisan
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  • Is there any country out there where this would be considered normal? Anyway, I don't know how to deal with this.
    via grmakisan
  • I fear having a conversation with her because of the work relationship we have and the fact that her role and skills are unique and needed; I don't want to jeopardise the vibes.
    via grmakisan
  • All I've done is now telling both Bean and my husband that I'm done with this and any future meet-ups must happen outside of our house, in a neutral place.
    via grmakisan
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  • Chaotic Crashy Jekyl and Hyde? If she's disrupting your business, she needs to go. Being kind, compassionate and generous doesn't mean you should be taken advantage of.
    via grmakisan
  • OP grmakisan 100% agree with you. I need to discuss this with my husband properly who is currently away on a business trip. I fear he won't feel this way but I'm sure we will find a good solution.
    via grmakisan
  • Stressed woman in deep thought while sitting down with her hand on her head
    via charliepix

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • Winthrop Twisp We have discussed your post in the Men's Room and the consensus is that you need to unload this employee as soon and cleanly as you can. Forget the thing about "unique skills." You don't build a business around one employee's unique skills. Especially one who brazenly disrespects you. Whatever you want to think, you don't have a business if it fails in her absence. You gotta fix that. Find her replacement and cut her out in a way that isn't going to disgruntle her with power to ha
    via grmakisan
  • OP grmakisan Thanks bros, I appreciate it. This comment really stuck with me and I have every intention of dealing with this. The business won't collapse if she leaves, she isn't irreplaceable, but she does do an outstanding job despite her lack of situational awareness. Having found out other issues about her from Bean I think a really tough conversation is about to happen, which in all honestly will only be good for her.
    via grmakisan
  • BraveRefrigerator552 It's nuts. I get that you know you need to say something but what a nightmare convo to kick off. I for sure would start with 'I hate having to bring this up but it's starting to feel like you are using our house as a grocery store which is very abusive'. I would have to let her know the only reason we were having the chat was because of her always pushing.
    via grmakisan
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  • OP grmakisan Thank you so much, this truly helps. It does suck especially for one that hates confrontation!
    via grmakisan
  • Ok_Somewhere_8549 You should have said something to her in the beginning and set boundaries then. Do it because by saying nothing you've let her think this is ok.
    via grmakisan
  • ESH Chaotic Crashy You have let this go on and now it's intolerable. It should have been intolerable when she first started opening cupboards and you let her do it. this happened over and she kept getting more each time and you LET her? You didn't say anything? Nothing? Ever? That's unbelievable. If it's true- you set yourself up for this ☑
    via grmakisan
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