'I couldn’t believe the audacity': Woman running small business from home debates confronting employee who treats her home like a free buffet, going through her cupboards and taking snacks for home, but fears it will jeopardize their work relationship

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  • Blonde woman looking for snacks in her cupboard pantry.
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  • My employee treats my house as a free supermarket, AIO for being upset about it?

    Hey all, here comes my first ever Reddit post! Please give me some advice because I really don't know if this is just me being difficult or if I'm being taken advantage of.
  • So I (35f) run a small company with my husband (51m), and we have four people working with us across the world - two of them live in the same city as us.
  • Let's call them Bean (35f) and Sprout (mid twenties). Bean and Sprout often come to our house to work on projects together because we don't need an office and we are all remote, however some parts of what we do are physical and need in person work.
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  • I've been friends with Bean for years and never had a problem with her, but with Sprout I never really clicked and have always treated her more formally keeping it strictly professional.
  • Now the problem - since the very first visit, Sprout took the "make yourself at home" motto a little too literally.
  • She opened every cupboard without asking, checked inside every single storage space to see what we have and how we live, and takes out anything she wants from the fridge or cupboards to satisfy all her cravings.
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  • Chocolate is her weakness, and as soon as she sees it (we keep it in a bowl in the living room) she doesn't just eat one, she halves the bowl.
  • A group of young employees working from an orange couch
  • Today was my last straw and left us all in the room speechless. She was about to leave to catch a train, and she asked me if she could have a packet of crisps - I said sure, thinking she would open it, take a few, share it with us and go.
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  • But no, she took a family sized bag, put it in her back pack and then using both hands she dug into the bowl of chocolates grabbing as many as could, saying "ok thanks byeeee" and closing the door behind her.
  • I couldn't believe the audacity!!! | could never! But again, am I overreacting? Maybe it's a cultural thing?
  • I'm southern European and I love hosting, but also very much need guests to respect my environment and not take my generosity for granted.
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  • Is there any country out there where this would be considered normal? Anyway, I don't know how to deal with this.
  • I fear having a conversation with her because of the work relationship we have and the fact that her role and skills are unique and needed; I don't want to jeopardise the vibes.
  • All I've done is now telling both Bean and my husband that I'm done with this and any future meet-ups must happen outside of our house, in a neutral place.
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  • Chaotic Crashy Jekyl and Hyde? If she's disrupting your business, she needs to go. Being kind, compassionate and generous doesn't mean you should be taken advantage of.
  • OP grmakisan 100% agree with you. I need to discuss this with my husband properly who is currently away on a business trip. I fear he won't feel this way but I'm sure we will find a good solution.
  • Stressed woman in deep thought while sitting down with her hand on her head
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  • Winthrop Twisp We have discussed your post in the Men's Room and the consensus is that you need to unload this employee as soon and cleanly as you can. Forget the thing about "unique skills." You don't build a business around one employee's unique skills. Especially one who brazenly disrespects you. Whatever you want to think, you don't have a business if it fails in her absence. You gotta fix that. Find her replacement and cut her out in a way that isn't going to disgruntle her with power to ha
  • OP grmakisan Thanks bros, I appreciate it. This comment really stuck with me and I have every intention of dealing with this. The business won't collapse if she leaves, she isn't irreplaceable, but she does do an outstanding job despite her lack of situational awareness. Having found out other issues about her from Bean I think a really tough conversation is about to happen, which in all honestly will only be good for her.
  • BraveRefrigerator552 It's nuts. I get that you know you need to say something but what a nightmare convo to kick off. I for sure would start with 'I hate having to bring this up but it's starting to feel like you are using our house as a grocery store which is very abusive'. I would have to let her know the only reason we were having the chat was because of her always pushing.
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  • OP grmakisan Thank you so much, this truly helps. It does suck especially for one that hates confrontation!
  • Ok_Somewhere_8549 You should have said something to her in the beginning and set boundaries then. Do it because by saying nothing you've let her think this is ok.
  • ESH Chaotic Crashy You have let this go on and now it's intolerable. It should have been intolerable when she first started opening cupboards and you let her do it. this happened over and she kept getting more each time and you LET her? You didn't say anything? Nothing? Ever? That's unbelievable. If it's true- you set yourself up for this ☑
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