17-year-old kid admits disrespect for her biological mother and new stepfather, who tried to dispose of her biological father's memories after his passing: ‘She realized I was serious about not wanting to fix our relationship’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 20, 2025 6:00 PM EST

When a new member of your family thinks they can replace another member who has passed, it's crucial to correct that behavior from the get-go. Their sense of entitlement regarding your affection is ridiculous at best, and despicable at worst. Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences for anyone to go through in life, and to steamroll over someone during their grieving process is downright cruel.

Imagine you lose a parent. The surviving parent, not too long after their spouse's passing, brings a new romantic interest into the family mix. When the two inevitably get serious, the romantic interest decides that the next step is to move into your home. You're still a child, so in reality, you have no say. Your surviving parent refuses to stand up for you or what you want, and your late parent's memory is soon scrubbed from the home. All of the picture frames, trophies, everything, gone.

How do you react? Is there hope for a resolution after your surviving parent allowed this? The teen in the story below decides to use therapy to tell her mother that she no longer respects her for allowing her new partner to call the shots in the house, which directly resulted in the removal of her father's memory. Scroll below to continue reading.

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  • 01
    a young teen boy sitting on a chair with his head in his hands
    via mohamad azaam for Unsplash

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "AITAH for using therapy to tell my mom I don't respect her or her husband and I don't want to work on our relationship instead of working on our relationship?"

    My parents were married for 12 years when my dad died. I was 6 and now I'm 17.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 03
    18 months after my dad died my mom told me she was dating someone and it was a little more than 2 years after he died when my mom introduced me to her (now) husband.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 04
    He'd come over to our house and he always expressed discomfort with the family photos and photos of dad we had at home.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 05
    I wasn't all that excited to meet him already but that made it worse. He knew I wasn't exactly happy that he was there so it was weird and he told me he thought I needed a dad and he'd work on making that happen.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 06
    My mom asked me what I thought and I told her what I didn't like. One of those was he wasn't dad and the other was his issues with the photos and memories of dad.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 07
    She focused on the he's not dad part and told me he could still be a good addition.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 08
    Six months after I met him she moved him in with us. Before he moved in he told mom and me he wanted the photos and memories of dad taken down.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 09
    We had some of dad's trophies on display and a couple of things he made that were really important to him and to me.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 10
    Mom said of course and even though I cried and told her I didn't want them all to go, she took them all down.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 11
    a group of medals and trophies skewed out across an orange table
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova For Unsplash+
  • 12
    Once that happened I lost respect for my mom and I basically decided I would never respect her
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 13
    My mom didn't realize at the time but she acknowledged since that she felt me pull away from her when he moved in.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 14
    When my mom and her husband got married he wanted to adopt me, change my last name and he wanted to start it all off with a father & daughter dance that I refused to do with him.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 15
    On their wedding day he decided to announce it and put me on the spot but I refused to go to him and I even ran out of the reception hall.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 16
    I kicked up a fuss about the adoption too and it never happened. I ended up hoarding dad's stuff in my room and his face was all over my room which he hated and my mom tried to put a stop to but I told her if they couldn't be in the rest of the house then my room was my home now.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 17
    My mom and her husband have kids together and I'm checked out of the "family" and I never put in any effort to make us a happy family.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 18
    The lack of respect thing was clear in some ways because I never ask her husband's permission for anything or go to him and I tell everyone he's not my dad.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 19
    But I also use my mom's name sometimes and I don't confide in her and there are things I keep from her because I don't want her involved.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 20
    It was 4 months ago when mom and I started going to therapy at her insistence.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 21
    She has been saying all this time that she wants to save our relationship and she has outlined all the issues as she sees them while I say very little.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 22
    But then last week I decided to put it all out there. I told her I had no respect for her husband.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 23
    That he wasn't worthy of my respect when he wanted dad boxed up and thrown away and was too weak and cowardly to deal with the fact she had a past and I had a dad who wasn't him.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 24
    I told her I had lost my respect for her when she agreed to remove dad from our home.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 25
    She interrupted and said he deserved to be comfortable and then she said dad wasn't his family and it would be weird for him to live with the memory of a stranger all over the place.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 26
    I argued that he had photos of his dead loved ones on the wall and I had to live with them and they were nothing to me.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 27
    So I told her that was a lame argument. She said my half siblings dead relatives deserved to be on the wall and I replied back but not my dead DAD.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 28
    I told her I didn't want to work on our relationship. I admitted I haven't put any effort into fixing it and I wouldn't.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 29
    I told her all I could see when I look at her is her giving into some weak ass dude and removing her late husband and the dad of her oldest child from our home.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 30
    Then I told her it wasn't my home. It was her husband's home since his comfort came first and I told her there was no going back from that.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 31
    I also added that I had no love for her husband either and I didn't like the guy.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 32
    But that I did love her and sometimes I hated myself for still loving her. My mom ended up breaking down and saying she wanted me to use therapy to fix us and not to try and make her feel bad or hated by me.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 33
    Her husband was angry when she told him what happened and he asked me if I was proud of myself for making mom cry.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 34
    I told him if he was proud for making a little girl who lost her dad cry and if mom was proud for her part in it too.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 35
    Mom heard my response and she cried more because she said she realized I was serious about not wanting to fix our relationship and how she wants me to want it.
    via OnlyKaiyeh
  • 36
    She still wants to try and all that. AITAH?
    via OnlyKaiyeh

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family drama step parent married with children mother step father
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