Mom forbids 6 and 8-year-old daughters from celebrating Christmas because her father passed away on Christmas in 2022: 'Why is she so keen to ruin the best time of our lives?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 26, 2025 11:00 AM EST

She needs to let her kids enjoy Christmas, even if she never will again.

We've all been in a situation where everyone wants to have fun, but one person is sucking all of the air out of the room. Maybe you've been to a bachelorette party where it's abundantly clear that one of the bachelorettes does not like the bride's husband-to-be, and she's letting that feeling totally take over. It feels like nobody can talk about how excited they are for the wedding without her sighing heavily and looking miserable, making everyone feel on edge about discussing why they are celebrating. 

Being in a situation like this stinks because it really does affect everyone else. The bride feels bad because she desperately wants her friend to like her fiancé, the friend feels bad because she can't like her friend's fiancé no matter how much she tries, and all of the other bachelorettes feel bad because there's an elephant in the room that can't be addressed and can't be resolved over the course of a weekend that was meant for debaucherouspartying. The friend is really the only one who has any control over the situation. No matter how badly she feels, she has a choice to set that resentment toward her fiancé aside for the weekend and work on regulating her emotions. Maybe she won't be able to be this guy's best friend, but she can show her friend she cares by putting some effort into her attitude. 

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  • If a parent is too emotionally unregulated to celebrate Christmas with their young children, they need to work on that. The holidays can be a difficult time if you've experienced a tragedy during them, but that doesn't mean you should pass that bad feeling on to your young kids, who still believe in the magic.

  • Portrait of a lonely senior woman sitting on sofa indoors at Christmas
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My wife's dad passed on Christmas in 2022. She doesn't let us celebrate Christmas since then.

    My father-in-law d d on 25 Dec 2022. Extremely sad, unfortunate, my wife has been taking therapy since then.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • Although we've two kids (currently 6F, 8F) we didn't celebrate 2023 & 2024 Christmas, because my wife wasn't ready. I respected that, didn't put lights or decos, just 2 pair of gifts for the kids.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • Honestly speaking, me & our daughters didn't had a good bond with her dad, because he was ill since years.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • Since his d th, I'm doing everything to support my wife. There's not a single advice her therapist gave me which I didn't follow.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • Trips, gifts, taking over 60% of work, staying calm when she shouts, getting her positive books and pushing her to focus on her hobbies and what not.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • Woman writing diary entry
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Her therapist, since around a year, just says one thing, that my wife needs to push herself now. We can help her to a certain extent, she needs to make efforts herself.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • I was really excited for 2025 Christmas (mainly for kids, they kept asking us why we don't celebrate Christmas like x & y (their friends) which honestly drained my heart. I've been encouraging my wife too since October.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • I was really expecting her to move on this time but again, she started behaving the same a week before Christmas and now, I was honestly fed up with her.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • For how many years are we gonna miss our family's Christmas, that too I call the best years, as our kids are of perfect age to celebrate it.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • Portrait of happy Santa Claus embracing little girl with love they are standing near fireplace and smiling
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

     

  • I asked her this in a straight tone, got no reply other than a moody behavior from her. This time I decided to prioritize our daughters' happiness and did the arrangements,
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • decorations with them, while still trying to push my wife but she got highly irritated, upset as if why we're even celebrating.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • Her behavior continued and I had a breaking point at some moment, I hold her shoulders and asked her in a high tone about till when is this going to last and why she's so keen to ruin the best time of our lives, she's upset like a very
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • spoiled teenager always AITA here Her siblings and even mom have moved on and celebrating Christmas fully since 2024.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • Fluffy-Pancake2106 We lost my granny two days ago. We're just trying to make the best of the day we can. And we don't even have little kids to do that for. Honestly it's cruel to take Christmas away from the children. Sometimes as adults we just have to use our coping mechanisms to do things we find challenging.
    via u/Fluffy-Pancake2106
  • OP Silent_Iron_8827 Extremely sorry for your loss
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • Giantsfan1954 That's so unfair to your girls! She's married with her own family & needs to put them first. You said he was terminal so it wasn't unexpected, sounds like an attention grab...oh poor me. If she keeps it up,do the Christmas thing with the kids,events, visit Santa,get a tree,single parents do it all the time.
    via u/Giantsfan1954
  • OP Silent_Iron_8827 Yeah trust me, even though she totally disturbed my mind, this time I did every single thing to celebrate Christmas for the girls. Sometimes I felt mixed on leaving my wife behind while visiting the local market with daughters, but I felt so liberated.
    via u/Silent_Iron_8827
  • SorbetLost1566 Has her therapist addressed what she is taking from her own kids?
    via u/SorbetLost1566
  • [deleted] NTA. You've been incredibly supportive for years, and it's completely valid to want some Christmas for your kids x
    via u/[deleted]
  • Brief Horror I lost my dad last month I'm currently at a Christmas celebration your wife is being a dick to her kids. Everyone grieves differently but life doesn't stop and joy is fleeting and needs to be cherished.
    via u/BriefHorror
  • live-fast-eat-trash NTA. Your wife is stagnant in her grief. Yourself and your children should not have to be.
    via u/live-fast-eat-trash
  • whatsmypassword73 NOPE, she's abdicating her role as a parent to soak up her victimhood. Sorry, I lost my husband last year which is so much worse and you know what I did? Prioritize my child.
    via u/whatsmypassword73
  • countessofgroan NTA. She's deciding to put her kids' lives on hold because of her dead dad. That doesn't honor anyone.
    via u/countessofgroan
  • LectureBasic6828 Sorry for your loss.
    via u/LectureBasic6828
  • Boggers 111 My dad died on my birthday, it was horrible. But every year I celebrate the day I was born and the day I lost my best friend. Your wife is being horrible to your kids she needs to wake up and put them first.
    via u/Boggers111

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christmas presents daughters parenting dad father in law in laws family mom holidays
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