Dad decides to return the Christmas gift his kids got him so that he can use the money for his boys' trip, mom refuses to let him go through with it: 'Our kids were so excited'

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  • Children Exchanging Gifts in Festive Living Room
  • AITAH for being upset that my husband wants to return the Christmas gift my kids and I got him?

    I (35F) went back to school to become a teacher so I can spend more time with my three kids.
  • Money has been tight because of tuition and an 80- mile commute. One of my kids is autistic, so flexibility matters a lot for our family.
  • My husband (39M) and I do not share finances-his choice. We split the mortgage, but everything else is separate.
  • I cover all kid- related expenses. On a recent vacation, my husband left behind an expensive pair of sunglasses he loved.
  • For Christmas, the kids and I pooled our money and bought him a replacement pair. He didn't get me a gift, which didn't bother me.
  • He's going on a boys' trip in February and asked to borrow money from me to pay for the Airbnb.
  • I agreed. When the sunglasses arrived, they didn't fit quite right. Today he asked if he could return them, give me the money, and "call it even" for the money he borrowed for his trip.
  • Our kids were right there, excited for him to try on the glasses. I told him no-that it was a gift from the kids and me.
  • He repeated that he'd just give me the money back. I told him that meant he'd be paying me back with my own money and walked away upset.
  • Now he's mad at me for my reaction. AITAH? Edit: All 3 children are his
  • Young couple exchanging christmas presents
  • ThisWeekInTheRegency 'I cover all kid-related expenses.' WHAT? These are his children, yes? And everything else is 50/50? You're being used, OP. 'He didn't get me a gift, which didn't bother me.' It should bother you. It's appalling. He doesn't seem to have much feeling for either you or the children. NTA.
  • Anxious-Routine-5526 I'm sorry, why are you married to this man? Are the kids not his? Why isn't he financially supporting them? How is it he's borrowing money from you when you're the one paying for all the kid's needs, tuition, and every other expense you have plus half the mortgage? The sunglasses are the least of your problems. It doesn't sound like your husband likes any of you.
  • Winternin Does your husband have any redeeming qualities?
  • Cosmic Citizen6473 Your husband doesn't pay kid expenses, he doesn't get you Christmas gifts. He doesn't want to pay the money he borrowed. Based on the limited info you have provided, all I can say is, why are you with this man? What does he contribute, besides 1/2 the mortgage payment.
  • Abblzzy You are being financially a sed and the quicker you figure that out, the better. My financial a Ise started similarly...
  • Kyra Heiker You're married to an absolute loser. Why are you letting this man be a role model to your children?
  • LegitimateRespect635 Yeah, he's acting like an a- hole. This gift is coming from you and the kids. He doesn't get to choose how a gift is given. It's inconsiderate and selfish. At this point he deserves nothing for how he's handling it. He's trying to be an opportunist with the current situation. This is a very rude and a mean thing to do, plus it's hurtful to the whole family. Him being upset at you is childish. Having a tantrum because he didn't get his way is not an example to set for the kid

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