10-year-old brother throws a tantrum after trying to blow out the candles on 18-year-old sibling's cake, sibling leaves their own party after mom takes brother's side: ‘Everything went downhill’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 3, 2026 6:00 PM EST

Even those who claim to hate birthdays and everything about them secretly hold love for certain birthday traditions. And oh, how many birthday traditions are there! All you need to do is just take your pick for your favorite one.

Some love getting presents from all their loved ones, others throw themselves big, extravagant parties, and some take pleasure in quieter traditions, like counting down to midnight or blowing out the candles on their cakes. Birthdays are simply filled with opportunities for celebration, big or small, so there is something for everyone, from attention lovers to birthday deniers.

However, it's not uncommon for people to take birthdays too far, and when you start making other people's birthdays all about you, that's a sign that you stepped over that edge. People should enjoy their own birthday however they want, but not take over a birthday celebration of someone else. No matter how much you might love certain traditions, you only get them once a year; that's just how birthdays work.

The 10-year-old brother in the story below certainly loves making things about himself and has no problem taking over a birthday celebration that is not his. So when he tried to blow out the candles on his sibling's birthday cake, he did so fully knowing that it was not his place to do so; he simply did not care. The thing is, birthdays are not the only times this bratty kid has made everything about himself, and their sibling, the one who had to fight for their own birthday candles, is officially tired of this behavior. 

Their mom, however, is not doing her job in ensuring her youngest behaves as he should, and has let her 10-year-old throw tantrums over and over again for not getting his way. And after the disastrous birthday celebration, her oldest child finally confronted her about it. This led the birthday party to an abrupt end, but that was not the end of this family dispute. The candles situation only opened the 18-year-old's eyes to their mom's lack of parenting, and convinced them it's time to move out as far as possible. As far from the entitled 10-year-old brother and useless mother.

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  • AITAH for running out of my birthday party after my brother blew my candles out on my cake?

    Throw away account so no one I know knows it's me. My brother is 10 and I just turned 18 today.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • AWESOME EVERY
    via Ivan S

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My mom loves throwing parties and events so she wanted to go big for my 18th.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • My friends and family were there and it was so much fun until we got to the cake.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • My brother always gets his way no matter what by throwing tantrums and my mom has tried disciplining him but it never works.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • Anyways, earlier while we were doing the cake, my mom lit the candles and that's when everything went downhill.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • My brother kept trying to blow the candles out and was successful the first time. We lit the candles again and my mom told him to wait and she will relight them so he can have a chance to do it after me since he just "likes blowing out candles".
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • He obviously threw a fit at this and I could tell he wasn't going to wait so I tried moving the cake towards me more and shield the candles with my hands so he couldn't blow them out before me.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • Well I managed to blow them out but it ended up in him getting more upset (screaming and crying) and it led him to grabbing a fist full of cake and smashing it in my face.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • Everyone gasped and my mom was upset at him and scolded him but the moment I called him a brat my mom told me to apologize because I was being rude to him.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • I could feel tears coming so I ran out of the room and went outside to get some air then just chose to go on a walk around the block and when I came back the energy shifted and my friends wanted to leave but not any family.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • My brother was still in tears when I came back but playing on his tablet that my mom gave him to calm down while sitting at the dinner table, I took it away from him and put it up where he couldn't get it on top of the fridge.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • My mom called me a brat and said I wasn't helping and that me running out made her look like a bad mom and basically overall just scolded me.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • Sorry if this was a bit long and it's probably dumb of me to come on here and ask but AITAH?
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • Should I apologize? I do feel kind of bad about running out and calling my brother a brat but am I in the wrong?
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • - UPDATE: Not sure how people do updates so I'm hoping that I'm doing this correctly.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • Thank you to those who gave their input, it was very appreciated and to those whole told me that I'm an adult now so I need to parent my brother don't seem to understand that I shouldn't have to.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • Our dad has never been in our lives so we only have our mom. And a lot of you were right, my mom only gave him his tablet or her phone to distract him so she didn't have to parent him.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • Cheezburger Image 10591821568
    via vcgcorbis

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I did what a lot of you suggested and showed my mom this post. She was not happy.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • We got into a bit of a fight but I left before it escalated. I called my aunt (her sister) and I'm staying with her and my cousins now.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • My aunt told me basically what you all were saying and apologized to me on their behalf so I'll take what I can get, I guess.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • She said that I didn't have to go back unless I wanted to grab my things and take them to hers to live with her (for context for my mom and her relationship with her sister- she doesn't really like her because of stuff that happened when they were growing up).
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • So yeah, I'm going to live with her I think or at least stay with her and my cousins for a bit until I can figure out what I'm doing.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • I haven't talked to my mom all day today aside from earlier when I showed her this and I haven't seen or talked to my little brother today.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • Also, my aunt told me this weekend she will plan a new party for me at my favorite restaurant, this time with only my friends, her and my uncle and my cousins- my mom is NOT allowed and neither is my brother or any other family which I'm okay with.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • She said she bought me more gifts and is excited for me to open them at my party.
    via dep**ssed_lucid
  • pineboxwaiting NTAH Your brother's a brat, your mom needs to manage his behavior. No one thinks what he did is cute. FYI - I had a 10yo sister when I was 18. She would not have done any of this.
    via pineboxwaiting
  • ThisWeekInTheRegency 'me running out made her look like a bad mom' Because she is a bad mother. Even if your brother needs some professional help, she is not helping him by excusing his behaviour and making you the bad guy. NTA.
    via ThisWeekInTheRegency
  • Top-Bit85 Your mom scolded you for making her look like a bad mom? I have news for you, your mom is a terrible mom. She's embarrassed because her son is an out of control brat and everybody at that party knew it. It's her job to discipline him and if it isn't working it's because she's doing it poorly.
    via Top-Bit85
  • Random_Dar NTA, DO NOT and I repeat do not apologize. Your mum is a horrible parent to both you and your brother. The fact that a 10y old behaves like that is a formal proof. I would limit my contact with both of them until you can move out and I would expect a proper apology from both of them. It probably would not happen though. Seems like a goat -golden child situation.
    via Random_Dar
  • fiorekat1 NTA. Move out as soon as possible. Your mom is a shitty mom for letting your bother behave this way.
    via fiorekat1
  • lorybear96 NTA. Your mother is a bad parent by dismissing your feelings and raising a spoiled brat, aka, your brother. You're entitled to have feelings. Try blowing out your brother's candles on his birthday to see how he likes it when the roles are reversed. If your mother won't teach him lessons then someone else probably should.
    via lorybear96
  • Familiar-Dark-4831 NTA. Your brother is far too old to be having this level of tantrum over candles ffs. Hopefully you walking out gives your mum the wake up call she needs- he's a huge brat whose behaviour needs to be addressed asap
    via Familiar-Dark-4831
  • ColleenOS So your 10 yr old brother is the golden child that mom has ruined by giving into his every tantrum. Good job creating a monster, mom. 18 is a big mikestond and your mother allowed him to ruin it for you. When you move out and go low contact with mom, print this thread and show it to her when she asks why. Tell her it is because of 10 years of her favoring the brother and blaming you for hi reactions
    via ColleenOS

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cake family drama kids birthday mother candles siblings parenting Party aunt family women parents children brothers Father
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