Manager messages employee on Facebook on their approved PTO days asking for help with a project: 'I muted both, marked them as read, and didn't reply'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 31, 2025 10:00 AM EST

When you're off, you're off. This is the philosophy that most of us subscribe to when it comes to working. We work so hard and so often that we relish the times when we don't. We work hard for our paid time off, and we expect not to be bothered while using it. But this isn't always the reality. Sometimes people in your workplace decide not to respect boundaries and end up bothering you while you're using your time away. Vacation should be for vacation. It's your time to unwind not only from your daily tasks, but from the thought of them. It's as much a mental break as it is a physical one. Not only do you not want to be in the building, but you don't want to be thinking about your job at all. Otherwise, that's not really a break. It's more of a pause. 

For a true break to happen, you need to be able to ignore everything. You need to let your mind wander to the corners where it wants to wander, and not have to circle back to the tasks at hand. It's so rare that we get the opportunity to do this, so when we do, we expect to use them to their fullest extent. Not all workplaces are good at doing this, though. And sometimes a project demands your attention. But if you've taken the proper steps to get the time off, and your manager approved it, then nobody can say anything. Unless it's a true emergency, which it rarely is, then you shouldn't be bothered. 

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  • A man lies on a beach chair checking his phone.
    via Humphrey M

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • There are also certain channels of communication that should be reserved for your personal life. Your work might get a work chat or a work phone call, but to reach out to someone on social media is a huge breach of privacy. You shouldn't have to share your social media accounts with anybody you work with, let alone fear being contacted through those methods. But that's what happened to this worker when they were on a manager-approved vacation. After ignoring a few work texts, their manager got desperate and ended up crossing a line. Read on to see what happened in the story and see what you think about it.

  • I'm on approved PTO and my manager still won't leave me alone.

    I'm on approved time off that my boss personally approved. I have auto-replies set on my work email and phone, and my work cell phone rolls to the office while I'm out.
    via u/chuckmorris007
  • A collaborative project I had been working on got delayed after my vacation started. My boss first texted my work number, then my personal phone, asking if "we" needed to call the customer the day before notifying them of the delay. I didn't respond because I'm on PTO and felt that once I'm out, this becomes a management responsibility.
    via u/chuckmorris007
  • A couple days later, he called again and left a voicemail saying he didn't want to "step in the middle of the ball game" and that I needed to call my counterpart because the customer was upset. Again, I'm on approved PTO. I didn't respond.
    via u/chuckmorris007
  • Then yesterday he called again saying leadership was escalating, the customer was losing faith in the company, and he needed contacts from me to try to resolve the situation. At that point, I blocked his number on my personal phone.
    via u/chuckmorris007
  • So he messaged me on Facebook asking me to call him. Two minutes later, a district manager from the department we're collaborating with the same one he - referenced in the voicemail, also messaged me on Facebook asking me to call him. I muted both, marked them as read, and didn't reply.
    via u/chuckmorris007
  • This feels like a huge boundary violation. I'm on approved time off that HE approved. I didn't agree to work. I didn't refuse, I was simply unavailable. What makes this worse is that I recently raised concerns to my boss's boss about my boss being retaliatory, and now this is happening. Am I wrong for ignoring all of this, or is this workplace crossing a serious line?
    via u/chuckmorris007
  • TL;DR: On approved PTO, boss tried to make me fix a project issue anyway. When I didn't respond, he and upper management messaged me on Facebook. Feels like harassment, am I wrong?
    via u/chuckmorris007
  • A man talks animatedly on the phone while sitting on the couch
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters came in with their own thoughts and stories.

    obviousfakeperson Ooh, I have a relevant story here. This happened to me before except I answered the phone and solved the issues. This was before I learned to just disconnect, however, when I returned I went straight to payroll and asked
    via u/obviousfakeperson
  • them to give me my vacation days back, which they did. I specifically pointed out that since vacation time was compensation I was effectively paying them for the privilege of working while I should've been relaxing.
    via u/obviousfakeperson
  • melodypowers My work is actually pretty good about this, but I also tell them I go camping while on vacation in areas without coverage. I don't. I just got in the habit of telling them that when I had a terrible boss.
    via u/melodypowers
  • Hofeizai88 My boss kept calling me when I was out on sick leave. She wanted to know if I could teach some classes via zoom or something. I was delirious from a blood infection and ignored her. She started calling my wife, who is my
    via u/Hofeizai88
  • emergency contact. Seems she was unclear what "emergency " means in this case. A friend is married to a lawyer, who sent an email where the subject was my name and the contents a relevant part of the labor law. Didn't hear anything else until I went back
    via u/Hofeizai88
  • tkkana My boss had a habit of contacting me on my days off Dumb shit every time and got bent out of shape when I put in to be paid On his last vacation contacted him over something every single day. Every single day. Guess who now has true days off?
    via u/tkkana
  • Educational_Eye57... Wise decision! Take your time off-work would replace you in an instant if they could. And also, once you do it ONCE they will refer back to it again and again.
    via u/Educational_Eye5793
  • CzRaTpak963 Why do you have them added on FB I'd put it on private. Keep ignoring them it's what I do
    via u/CzRaTpak963
  • Poonchild 100% for ignoring them. You know they'll hold it against you, though, right? It might never manifest itself in a significant way, but you can be sure that when people think it's ok to harass you on your approved time off, they also thing you're a bad employee for not making them more important than yourself.
    via u/Poonchild
  • Cap... I never ever contact people when they're on PTO, I expect that same courtesy from others. I have all co-workers/anyone who would contact me blocked/muted/archived everywhere.
    via u/Capable-Bake-6750
  • Too many instances in the past when I've been contacted, sometimes for no reason (just for a chat), when I've been on PTO. Go away.
    via u/Capable-Bake-6750
  • mr-spencerian Spend the rest of your PTO updating your resume and applying for a new role. If you don't get fired on your return, you will not want to stay under that boss and higher leadership.
    via u/mr-spencerian
  • indicatprincess I would have left those FB messages unread until I got back so I'd have the opportunity to address this.
    via u/indicatprincess
  • astris81 Prepare for the HR meeting when you get back where you will be accused of not being a team player. Just get some tough questions ready that will put your boss on the spot
    via u/astris81
  • moro_ka By law, we have 28 days of paid vacation per year. One of those vacations must be at least two weeks long- also required by law. - I work at a tech corporation as a Product Manager and am responsible for three major areas.
    via u/moro_ka
  • Before going on vacation, I prepare a document that clearly outlines which projects are at which stage and who is responsible for what. By the time my vacation starts, nothing usually depends on me anymore. If something does come up, another designated manager takes over.
    via u/moro_ka
  • I believe this should be the norm in any job. While you're away, your responsibilities are covered either by your manager or by someone else on the team.
    via u/moro_ka
  • Cassierae87 A company that can't handle an employee on vacation or sick leave has bigger problems than one customer.
    via u/Cassierae87
  • Regular-Performer... Where I used to work, if you got a call from work while on vacation you automatically got another day of vacation and whoever called you would have to justify to hr why they needed to call you.
    via u/Regular-Performer703

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projects antiwork working time off MESSENGER PTO Horrible Bosses bad bosses
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