23-year-old's cats were fine, until she's forced to host her older sister's dogs who disrupt the house pets peace: 'Last night one of [her] dogs awoke at night and chased my cat downstairs.'

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Jan 11, 2026 1:00 PM EST

One of the definite truths of being a pet pawrent is that the animals in our care are our responsibility, full stop.

Their safety, comfort, routines, and sense of security depend on the choices we make every day. When we bring a pet into our lives, we also take on the job of being their advocate - especially when they can't speak up for themselves. Cats, in particular, rely heavily on familiar spaces and predictable environments. Disrupting that without careful thought can cause stress, anxiety, and long-term behavioral issues. Responsibility isn't just about love and food - it's about protecting the life you've promised to care for.

But even the most devoted cat pawrent doesn't always control everything. Sometimes, decisions about a household are shared, layered, or complicated by family dynamics. In this case, the person who lovingly raises and protects her cats isn't the one deciding who enters the home, how often, or with what animals in tow. That lack of control can feel deeply frustrating, especially when you can clearly see how change affects your pets. Knowing what your cats need and being unable to guarantee it can leave you feeling helpless - and unfairly blamed for simply trying to speak up on their behalf.

From a dog pawrent perspective, consideration should come naturally. Sharing space with other animals (especially cats) requires awareness, training, and respect for boundaries. Expecting someone else's pets to endure daily stress for the convenience of visiting dogs isn't fair, particularly when those cats already live there full-time. Being mindful of other animals, especially those belonging to your own younger sibling, is part of responsible pet ownership. Dogs may not intend harm, but excitement, chasing, and barking can be terrifying for cats, and that impact shouldn't be dismissed.

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  • 01
    For context, my sister moved to the north of our country four years ago, found a boyfriend, moved in together and got two dogs.
    via TigerJager
  • 02
    For a while now she has openly been wanting to move south again to the city my mother and I (23) live.
    via TigerJager
  • 03
    In our house we have a dog and two cats, one of which is 10 years old and moving into her elderly years, and love my cats very much.
    via TigerJager
  • 04
    My sister came to our home for Christmas and brought her two dogs, even though they haven't attacked my cats, they don't leave them alone and hurl themselfs towards them barking, but since they are small my cats can scare them off, although last night one of the dogs awoke at night and chased my cat downstairs.
    via TigerJager
  • 05
    scared house cat, hiding behind a half-open door, leaning back with a low hanging tail
    via Serhii Semenovych

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    Today, she was saying that when they come back and find someplace to live, they will drop off their dogs every day at our house, to which I said that it wasn't fair since my cats can't live like they are used to at their own house, and that their dogs are not our responsibility, she said that it wasn't my decision to make, and I told her it wasn't hers.
    via TigerJager
  • 07
    A while ago she came upstairs and told me that she and her boyfriend (who was at the table) felt horrible with what I said, and that they were basically bothering at our house and wanted to go away for the remainder of their holyday stay, saying that if both of them took it the same way then I was clearly in the wrong.
    via TigerJager
  • 08
    Honestly I was pretty baffled by this, since we've only spoken about dropping their dogs every day and not about the current situation (that I have no problem with since it's temporary) and told her that I did not care to talk the issue any further, and if they felt like that they were both wrong.
    via TigerJager
  • 09
    Am I the asshole?
    via TigerJager

  • Sometimes, the hardest part of loving a pet is choosing them when others don't understand. Putting your foot down isn't cruelty or selfishness - it's advocacy. Cats don't get a vote in family discussions, so their humans have to speak loudly when needed. Even when it causes tension, even when it's uncomfortable, prioritizing your cat's well-being is the right thing to do. Family disagreements fade, but the responsibility to protect your pets lasts a lifetime. Choosing your cat doesn't mean rejecting your family - it means honoring the trust your animals place in you.

  • 10
    barking small dog in a tense position, its face looking at something off-frame looking angry
    via Capuski

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    Dealer Alarmed3632 Your pets, and you, take priority over her and her pets. She doesn't get to tell you she's dropping off her pets in your home. She needs to make other arrangements.
    via DealerAlarmed3632
  • 12
    Can you explain why your sister said "it wasn't your decision to make"? Does she own the place you live and you aren't a legal tenant? Does she have some sort of ownership or decision making control over you and your property?
    via DealerAlarmed3632
  • 13
    OP Tiger Jager Thanks, she was referring to how it's not my house and it's my mothers decision to make, neither my sister nor I have legal ownership of the house. The only thing going for it is that she's older than me and my mother usually enables her
    via TigerJager
  • 14
    TararaBoomDA >Today, she was saying that when they come back and find someplace to live, they will drop off their dogs every day at our house That is terribly presumptuous of her. She is assuming that you have nothing better to do than care for the dogs which are her responsibility. I bet she wouldn't pay you for looking after them either.
    via TararaBoomDA
  • 15
    You were entirely correct in saying NO! and you said it well. There are a couple of assholes here, but you are not among their number.
    via TararaBoomDA
  • 16
    Careless-Giraffe-623 "she said that it wasn't my decision to make" Who's house is it? But no, they sound horrible, any you know you'll end up. having to feed them, walk them etc, not your circus.
    via Careless-Giraffe-623
  • 17
    Bluegrass-girl Sounds like some assumptions were made? Did your sister ask your mother about this? Did you and your mother talk about it? It doesn't sound like it. Maybe your whole family should sit down together to discuss this. You could start by asking your sister to repeat to everyone what she told you. Then you can explain to your mother how the dogs and cats aren't getting along and keeping them in your home together will be causing stress to the animals and you and probably your mother.
    via Bluegrass-girl
  • 18
    Then maybe you can discuss alternatives. If sis is moving there, why can't they accommodate the dogs at their new home or send them to a kennel for daycare or boarding. The problem is unclear. Is it just for a few days during the move or a longer term situation?
    via Bluegrass-girl
  • 19
    Regardless, keeping pets together who are hostile to each other is a recipe for destroyed furniture, soiled carpets, shredded curtains, etc. And it's unfair for sis to expect pet sitting duties without even asking first. Now, if Mom already agreed to this, I would want to know why
    via Bluegrass-girl
  • 20
    Unicorn-Detective Tell her you will lock her dogs outdoor and Animal Control may pick them up as strays. Better yet, send her an email so this is in writing as she will likely sue you when she loses her dogs. You can show the judge you never agreed and specifically told her no.
    via Unicorn-Detective
  • 21
    Zestyclose-Height-36 their dogs are bothering the cats and should not be there every day. It is your job to protect your pets.
    via Zestyclose-Height-36
  • 22
    Typical_Recording_99 Oh hell no and she absolutely would not drop her dogs off at my house every day. She could leave them wherever she is staying but not at my house. I would not open my door to her if she showed up with her dogs.
    via Typical_Recording_99
  • 23
    Antique Pop1417 You have a sister problem who bosses around and uses manipulation to get what she wants. Be warned.
    via AntiquePop1417
  • 24
    Thugsi123 It's actually your mother's decision since you are an adult living in her home.
    via Thugsi123
  • 25
    paintergigi 1941 If you are contributing to the household bills, it should be a mutual decision between you and your mother. If not, then it may end up that you'll have to confine your cats to your room. If one of the cats is your mother's, then explain to your mother about the stress this will inflect on the cats. Either way this is good for the cats. It isn't fair to anyone in the house. Your sister took on the responsibility of those dogs. Her & her boyfriend need to care for their own pets!
    via paintergigi1941

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feud family drama dogs drama pets sisters family feud family sister Cats entitled people
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