Man wakes up every week at 3 AM to move pesky neighbor's trash cans 6 inches to the left, convincing neighbor he's going insane: 'Saw them standing in the driveway praying over the trash cans. I almost felt bad'

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  • A grey haired man in jeans stands in front of a lawnmower in his lawn.
  • I've been waking up at 3am to move my neighbor's trash cans slightly every week and he hired a priest last month.

    this started 2 years ago. my neighbor gary reported me to the HOA because my trash cans were "visible from the street" on a non-trash day. i got a $50 fine. i said okay gary. okay. every wednesday night i set an alarm for 3am. i go outside in dark clothes. i move his trash cans about 6 inches to the left. that's it. just 6 inches. then i go back to bed.
  • he's started bringing them inside his garage now. so i've pivoted to moving his welcome mat 2 inches every week instead. i will never stop. i don't even remember what being normal feels like. the HOA created me.
  • the first few months he didn't notice. then one morning i saw him standing in his driveway just staring at them. he moved them back. next wednesday. 6 inches. he started putting a rock in front of them to mark the spot. i moved the rock too. he installed a ring camera. i approached from the blind spot behind his bushes. i know his yard better than he does at this point.
  • EDIT: since people keep asking about the ring camera - the welcome mat is by his side door. camera points at the driveway. but i'm not taking chances so i bought the same ring camera model and spent a month testing angles in my own house. there's a 2 foot blind spot if you approach from the left hedge. 10 second delay before recording starts. i can be in and out in 8 ;)
  • last summer his wife came over to ask my wife if we'd "noticed anything strange in the neighborhood." my wife said no. i was standing right there. i ate a granola bar and nodded. in october he had the house blessed. i watched a priest walk through his front door. i saw them standing in the driveway praying over the trash cans. i almost felt bad. almost.
  • Commenters came in with praise and opinions.

    allmykitlets I hope this is real, because I'm absolutely loving it >
  • A woman puts something into the trash outside
  • OP kubrador LOL he's started parking his car slightly different every night like that's gonna help. it won't gary
  • Middle_Pineapple_898 >he installed a ring camera & >so i've pivoted to moving his welcome mat So the welcome mat is in a blind spot? That Ring camera must have terrible coverage...
  • OP kubrador i replied this to someone but whatever - i bought the same ring camera model and tested the angles in my own house for a month. i know exactly where to stand.
  • Ki77ycat Just out of curiosity, answer me this: regarding this 3 am awakening, if you're partnered, how does he/she feel about being disturbed in the middle of the night and also, by the time you are dressed, out the door, sneaking over, making adjustments, and sneaking back, after your titillating fun, are you able to go back to sleep and not feel crappy at work?
  • OP kubrador she has no idea. we've been married 6 years and this is the only secret i keep from her. honestly it's kind of romantic. every marriage needs a little mystery
  • usernamelieshere How are you moving his welcome mat if he's installed a ring camera though?
  • OP kubrador i bought the same ring camera model and tested the angles in my own house for a month. i know exactly where to stand.
  • eccatameccata My husband got into it with a colleague who was a peer. They were both directors but this old guy keeps telling my husband what to do. So my husband who often came into work early would open old guy's office door (he had a key because the office used to be his) and would turn on his lights. Then he would lock the door. It drove the old guy bonkers because he couldn't figure out how his lights would automatically turn on.
  • Fred Dingleberry I mean at this point don't even worry about the ring cam. Just dress like a demon and don't forget to whisper his name into the ring cam. Don't make him wonder. Make him shit his pants.
  • CodenameZoya "I ate a granola bar and nodded.
  • sushirollsyummy You should skip one week so the neighbor would think finally everything is normal.
  • Minute-Telephone7125 Take Rain-X and rub it with a fingertip into an upside down cross or pentagram on his driver side window. It won't be noticeable until wet...
  • Direct Surprise2828 Oh my God, this is so funny! I wish I'd known about this when my neighbour from hell was still living next door although what I did sure got him out of the neighbourhood! He thought I was a witch and told a number of people I was and turned a lot of people against me. Thank God they don't burn witches at the stake anymore. So I got online and did a Google search for "how do witches get rid of bad neighbours." I found a recipe for "hot foot powder". It's supposed to do exactly

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