Mom, who has been unemployed since 2006, expects her son to drop out of college so he can work full-time and pay her mortgage: 'She insists it’s her house but will not contribute financially.'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 14, 2026 8:00 PM EST

She hasn't worked in 20 years, and she's willing to do anything to keep that streak going.

Families feel different kinds of ways about their kids living at home when they're in college. Many parents encourage their kids to live at home and commute because it costs much less than paying for room and board on campus. If their kid lives at home, they're paying about as much as they were when they were in high school. They might even be paying less if their kid has a job and can afford their own food, clothes, and hygiene products. Then again, every family is different, and some parents expect their kids to contribute more to the household than merely paying for their own needs. They might want their kid to pay reduced rent to help cover the bills and the mortgage. 

If you have a moral problem with parents asking their kids to pay rent to live in their childhood bedroom, you're not alone. This practice is uncommon in most cultures and is usually only done when parents are struggling financially and have no choice but to have more than two adults contributing to the family. There's a big difference between parents who are both working multiple jobs to make ends meet and parents who actively seek to freeload off their adult children so they can remain unemployed. There is nothing noble about the latter, and any parent who makes their kids pay rent when they could support themself but choose not to is despicable. 

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  • Man wearing black crew neck top
    via Adrian Swancar

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The mom in this story does not care about her children. If she did, she would support their educational endeavors rather than expecting them to put their future aspirations aside to support her financially. She could work if she wanted to, but she clearly has no intention of doing so. 

  • Am I the bad guy for not wanting to drop out of college to pay my parents bills? Mom refuses to work.

    My relationship with my parents, especially my mom, has always been difficult. She's emotionally dismissive, often mocks me and my sister, and gets angry if we react or are not constantly positive.
    via u/user93762
  • When we try to talk about respect, she says we're not entitled to opinions and laughs in our faces.
    via u/user93762
  • Front view of portrait of senior businesswoman standing indoors in office
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • There's basically no boundaries at home. Since we live under their roof, we're constantly reminded that nothing we have is really ours, and saying no is not an option without it turning into a fight.
    via u/user93762
  • I work full time and pay out of pocket for the last few courses I need to be CPA eligible.
    via u/user93762
  • This has made my mom angry. She hasn't worked since 2006 and refuses to look for a job, but expects me and my sister to help cover bills now that my dad's hours were cut.
    via u/user93762
  • A man in a yellow jacket sitting on a cement wall
    via Green Liu

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Bills are falling behind, and we're being pressured to step in, while she insists it's her house but will not contribute financially.
    via u/user93762
  • TLDR: I'm finally in a job related to my career and have been told I'll be promoted once I finish my courses.
    via u/user93762
  • My mom wants me to drop out and help pay the mortgage instead. Given our history, I'm struggling to agree to that.
    via u/user93762
  • BulbasaurRanch This is the type of parent you move a flight away from. Don't sacrifice your future for her. She needs to get a job instead of trying to ruin your future. NTA
    via u/BulbasaurRanch
  • Ok_Beginning_9314 NTA at all. But you need to get away from her. -- Move out as long as it's safe, it'll do. You can't be dependent on her in any way and she cannot have physical access to your belongings.
    via u/Ok_Beginning_9314
  • Shadow_84 Time to move out. She doesn't have anyone but her own best interests in her mind. She's doing nothing but holding you back and it's gonna get worse
    via u/Shadow_84
  • Laquila Absolutely do NOT drop out of school and ruin your life, for your lazy, entitled mother who needs to get off her ass and work. I say that as a mother of adult kids myself. Our job is to give you the best start in life, not hobble you. I'm sorry you have such a mother. Stay in school, get ahead in life, move out and far away, and do not pay any of her bills. That would not be helping her. That would be - enabling her being part of the problem. Don't worry, she won't starve or end up on th
    via u/Laquila
  • Slow-Cherry9128 You and your sister need to move out together and get your own place and live your own lives. Not to pay your parents' bills. That's their responsibility. They will never learn if you both continue to stay there.
    via u/Slow-Cherry9128
  • Active_Air_2311 You should find the sub raised by narcissists. I think your mom fits in that category
    via u/Active_Air_2311
  • LdiJ46 Absolutely do NOT drop out of school. Your education and career path is important for your future. Your mom is perfectly capable of getting a job to help out the family finances. However, if you are living at home and working full time as well, you really should be contributing to the bills to the extent that you reasonably can without dropping out of school.
    via u/LdiJ46
  • Suspicious-Screen860 NTA - It isnt your job to pay your parents bills
    via u/Suspicious-Screen860
  • Affectionate_Pop6957 NTA it Will never end
    via u/Affectionate_Pop6957
  • HUNGWHITEBOI25 So you have a difficult relationship with your unemployed mother....and she wants you to drop out of college to pay the bills rather than just getting a job...? Op i'm not trying to sound harsh here but how could you be TA here...?
    via u/HUNGWHITEBOI25

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brother lazy work mortgage mom unemployed son college student entitled people
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