Wife shuts down husband's dream of buying a $20k bottle for their wedding, he doesn't understand why: 'My entire wedding was less than 20K. That is insane'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 19, 2026 10:00 AM EST

We all have something we'd splurge on that doesn't make sense to anyone else. 

We all have different tastes and different comfort levels with spending. Maybe you're really into expensive skincare, and you would splash out on a $100 face cream if you had a really good week at work. Or maybe you're really into model trains, and every extra cent you make goes into making those things as complex and beautiful as you possibly can. Or maybe you're saving up to buy an expensive bottle of wine. These things might not make sense to anyone else, but they make sense to you. That's what a splurge is all about. It's a ridiculous and egregious waste of money. But it's your money to waste, and it makes you happy. These types of purchases get a little more complicated when you get married, though. 

Marriage typically means splitting your assets, so it's not just your money you're wasting. Unless you have a little stash of your own, which is completely fair to have, you have to account for your partner when it comes to making big financial decisions. This is true when you're starting out, too. A wedding is an expensive affair. This might be the first time you're deciding how to spend your money together, and it can easily get out of hand. It's best to be on the same page about what you're shelling out for. Especially if it's a twenty-thousand-dollar purchase. That's a pretty big deal. 

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  • A bride cries while wiping her eyes with a cloth in front of her husband
    via Hoi An and Da Nang Photographer

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The groom in this story wanted to splurge on something for his wedding, but his wife-to-be wasn't exactly on board. She saw it as a terrible waste of money, while he saw it as fulfilling his life's dream. It's pretty hard to justify spending that much on a beverage, though, even if it's a beverage for your wedding. You want to be able to enjoy the night, not worrying about what you could have bought with the money instead. Read on for the full story here and see what commenters had to say about it. Because they had a lot to say.

  • Am I in the wrong for telling my fiancé he can't buy his dream wedding gift?

    As you would imagine, my fiancé and I are getting married soon. We both do quite well financially (he makes a little more than me), have been living in an apartment we bought together around 2 years ago, and share all our finances. My fiancé is very into wine and regularly adds to his collection,
    via u/PopeBonyface
  • has tastings with friends, reads about wine/wine history, etc. I'm not at all against his hobby and occasionally high spending on it, since I somewhat enjoy it too, but his "dream" he revealed to me recently was quite past the line for me. His only personal dream for our wedding is to have this certain
    via u/PopeBonyface
  • special bottle of champagne he wants. I'm not at all against him sharing a special bottle of wine with me during our reception, the only problem is that his dream champagne bottle is around $20,000! WHAT?!! It will be a magnum bottle (1.5 liters instead
    via u/PopeBonyface
  • of 750 ml) but still, that's beyond insane for me! He thinks I'm being unreasonable by completely disapproving and not allowing him to buy it since it's his dream, we can easily afford it (definitely not completely true at all), and I'll be enjoying it as well. AITA? Edit: $20k+ is a reasonably large percentage of the total wedding's cost.
    via u/PopeBonyface

  • Commenters wondered what else might be going on here.

    ExtremelyRetired If nothing else, showily consuming an extravagant beverage like that in front of one's guests-unless by chance your wedding is small enough that a magnum can make its all the way around the room-is vulgar in the extreme.
    via u/ExtremelyRetired
  • Soft-Somewhere6... Unless he's a multi millionaire that has more money than he knows what to do with this is just stupid. That's a down payment on a house. At least spend 20k on something tangible and not on something he's just going to piss out an hour later.
    via u/Soft-Somewhere6823
  • A man opens a champagne bottle on a picnic blanket
    via Jelleke Vanooteghem

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Gattina1 NTA. Imagine all the different things you could do with $20k. He just wants to show off at the reception. Most people wouldn't know the difference between the $20k bottle and a bottle of Moët.
    via u/Gattina1
  • Wild-Association1... I think it depends a lot of "quite well financially" means a 6-figure job or like...millions upon millions in the bank. But either way, I personally don't even think I could enjoy a glass of $20k champagne that I paid for — there is no - taste that wouldn't leave me filled with anxiety and dread that each sip I cost $1000.
    via u/Wild-Association1680
  • AlixofHesse1912 My entire wedding was less than 20K. That is insane
    via u/AlixofHesse1912
  • Envelope_Torture I don't really understand the people asking for info here. Nobody who is in a position to afford a 20k bottle of champagne has it as their dream wedding item. That's just ludicrous.
    via u/Envelope_Torture
  • CalamityClambake YTA for marrying this dude if he's the kind of guy who will drink a $20,000 bottle of champagne in front of your friends and family without sharing it. That's gauche and selfish in the extreme. What an absurd display of wealth.
    via u/CalamityClambake
  • Look, I also enjoy wine and have had the privilege of enjoying some expensive bottles, but the rule is that you share them with the people you invited to the party. If you're gonna crack a $20,000 bottle, have enough for everyone.
    via u/CalamityClambake
  • Rredhead926 NTA. A purchase that costs that much needs to be a 2- yeses kind of thing. It's not unreasonable to say, "No, you cannot spend twenty thousand dollars on a bottle of champagne." But to appease him, maybe tell him he can buy it for your 25th wedding anniversary.
    via u/Rredhead926
  • Long_Ad_2764 How much does he make. If he makes 100k that wine is ridiculous. If he makes 500k then it is a one time splurge
    via u/Long_Ad_2764
  • Weary-Huckleberr... I think this one needs more INFO What are the salaries / why does he think you can "easily" afford it while you don't? Is this a pattern of financial irresponsibility that adversely affects your lives or a one-off? What is the overall wedding cost? What are the other financial responsibilities you have?
    via u/Weary-Huckleberry-85
  • Being frank if you're a dual- income high earning couple and this $20,000 is a one-off big item for him in context of a 6-figure wedding tailored to your perfect desires, I would feel very differently than if you make 6 figures and saved for a wedding that was on the cheaper side / compromised significantly to cut costs in order to meet other financial obligations like a mortgage, or even worse are going into debt to swing the wedding in the first place.
    via u/Weary-Huckleberry-85
  • Would I ever spend 20k on a single bottle? No way, but would your husband ever spend the amount you chose to spend on your flowers, venue, dress, photography and does he deserve to have something that's a personal splurge too?
    via u/Weary-Huckleberry-85
  • Trick_Delivery4609 If your wedding dress costs more than that and he has enough to cover it and none of the wedding would put you into debt, he can have the champagne. However, if you aren't serving it to all the guests, maybe the wedding reception isn't the place to have it.
    via u/Trick_Delivery4609
  • I would rather save it to put towards a house or car, but to each his own. NAH
    via u/Trick_Delivery4609
  • walking_dead_girl I wouldn't spend that even if I could afford it. However, as others said, info is needed. If you're buying a $20,000 dress, I think he can have the wine. Both are going to be a one-time use. If this is the biggest expense, then no.
    via u/PopeBonyfacewalking_dead_girl
  • KTeacherWhat NTA Honestly regardless of cost that isn't a wedding gift, if it's something only he wants, it's not a wedding present. It doesn't celebrate your union. It's like if he bought himself his dream car as a wedding present. Or went on his dream honeymoon without you.
    via u/KTeacherWhat
  • BeachinLife1 NTA, and I would reconsider marrying him and would probably be starting to separate my finances from his. I'm sorry, but even if he was a billionaire, this would be an irresponsible purchase, for me, anyway.
    via u/BeachinLife1
  • 2dogslife I divorced my husband and should have broken things off when he spent more on shoes than I did on my entire outfit and the bridesmaid's dress. He was fiscally irresponsible and that recklessness carried over into many parts of our life. It's especially hard to live with such a person when you have joint finances.
    via u/2dogslife
  • alsotheabyss We bought two magnums of our favourite champagne, Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque, for our wedding. $1500, which we thought reasonable. $20k is not!!! NTA.
    via u/alsotheabyss
  • dublos NTA Unless your dress cost more than his magnum of champagne, he's completely out of line.
    via u/dublos
  • O... I would personally consider that a profound fundamental difference in life-view. That's for me at least. (And even if we accept it's his fun money to do what he wants with - it's a huge
    via u/Ok_West_6711
  • distraction for him to do this separate once in a lifetime event of his, on your once in a lifetime wedding day together! Can you even imagine what a distraction and alternate focus this will be for him? Immature. Stupid.
    via u/Ok_West_6711
  • If it's really his fun money, ask him to save the experience for your first anniversary together, where he can savor and enjoy it and share the experience with you and maybe select friends for an anniversary celebration - dress up, take pictures if that's part of his vision for this bottle and tell him it's a - better chance to get more than one glass from it.)
    via u/Ok_West_6711

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family drama bride marriage wedding party splurge wedding story family expensive weddings
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