24-year-old refuses to give money to 29-year-old sister who tells her she can "always save again later": 'She assumed she was entitled to my money'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jan 25, 2026 3:00 PM EST

This family is having an awkward conversation about money and who's entitled to which funds. 

When money gets tight, a lot of families stick together — like, really close together. Living in a shared space with Mom, Dad, and/or siblings is a great way to both save money and perhaps lose your mind! It really depends on how well you get along with your family, and only you can answer that question. Like yes, it's really fun to play video games with your siblings and sit around talking with your Dad, but some family dynamics take toxicity to a level that isn't easy to live with, despite the fun times. 

There are some people who get jobs with great salaries and simply never tell their families about it. They have to hide it because they know that their parents, siblings, or even extended family members will come out of the woodwork to start begging. Some folks do a lot of "dry begging," which is especially irritating. That's when someone will say things like, "Oh, I really need $1000 to fix my car, and I have no idea where to get it." They're expecting you to be kind and offer that money, though they won't ask for it directly. They'll just keep going on and on about how tough their circumstances are, and how it would just be so nice if someone had extra cash to give them. If only!

Money issues can cause irreparably rifts in families, though, because even if you are kind enough to loan someone money, they might not pay you back. Now every time you see them, it's an instant argument — you want your money back, but they don't ever plan on returning it. 

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  • This woman shared that she'd been saving up money for several years in order to start her own future. It's more than just money when it represents the future you're planning for yourself! It's vacations, it's a house, it's your own apartment, it's having your own car. So for the older sister to insist that the money should go to her, instead of supporting her younger sister, is totally out of line. Not to mention that she quit her job and has barely worked, so… Maybe she should try getting a job first? I know it's not that simple, but you've got to try and help yourself sometimes in this life. 

  • 01

    'Am I the a**h*** for not giving my sister money I’ve been saving, even though she already told our parents I would?'

    Two women in denim jackets sit at outdoor table outside restaurant and rest arms on table
    via Kendyle Nelsen on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    I'm 24F and still living at home. I've been saving money for a few years so I can eventually move out. I don't make a lot, so it's been slow and I've had to say no to a lot of things to build it up. My family knows I'm careful with money. My sister is 29
    via u/Confident-Ninja-2706
  • 03
    and has been having money problems for a while. She quit her job last year and has been picking up random work here and there, but nothing consistent. A few days ago she came to me saying she needed help. paying some bills. I told
    via u/Confident-Ninja-2706
  • 04
    her I didn't really have money to spare. She then said she already told our parents that I'd help her. I was honestly caught off guard. When I said no again, she got upset and said I'm the only one with savings and that I can "always save again later."
    via u/Confident-Ninja-2706
  • 05
    Now my parents keep bringing it up. They aren't forcing me, but they keep saying things like I'm young, my sister is stressed, and family should support each other. The house has been awkward since then and my sister barely talks to me. I feel bad because
    via u/Confident-Ninja-2706
  • 06
    she's struggling, but I also feel like she assumed she was entitled to my money and didn't respect the effort it took me to save it. AITA for saying no?
    via u/Confident-Ninja-2706
  • 07
    Woman in black dress with sunglasses hanging off stands next to woman in denim coat and orange hat in outdoor space
    via Kendyle Nelsen on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08

    She added a little extra context to her question to the audience

    1. I refused to give my sister money from my personal savings after she asked for help with her bills, even though she had already told our parents that I would help her without asking me first. 2. My
    via u/Confident-Ninja-2706
  • 09
    sister is genuinely struggling financially right now, and my refusal added stress during a difficult time.
    via u/Confident-Ninja-2706
  • 10
    From her perspective, I prioritized my future plans over helping family in an urgent situation, which could be seen as selfish or unsupportive. I also live at home, so my parents feel I had a responsibility to help more than I did.
    via u/Confident-Ninja-2706
  • 11
    beckdawg19 NTA. Peak entitlement from your sister. Hold your ground--if you say yes now, they're going to see you as a cash cow forever.
    via u/beckdawg19
  • 12
    Electronic-Stay-2... Sounds like you need your savings even more so you can move away from these arseholes. And if your parents care so much they can stump up for your feckless sister.
    via u/Electronic-Stay-2369
  • 13
    zealot_ratio NTA. If she likes money, she can seek steady employment.
    via u/zealot_ratio
  • 14
    Puzzled-Award-2... then let your parents give her the cash. Your sister is struggling because she is irresponsible. You don't quit your job and then expect someone else to pick up the slack.
    via u/Puzzled-Award-2236

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