Lottery winner refuses to share the money with his family after they discover he used Grandma's birthday for the winning numbers: ‘I don’t want to become the family ATM’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 26, 2026 2:00 PM EST

Does the family own this combination of numbers?

We can never know how we would react to finding out someone close to us just won the lottery. It is a scenario that happens to so few people that there is probably no right or wrong way to go about this. There is no recipe or formula for how one should behave after finding out someone they care about had their life changed forever.

However, no matter what, support should be your main approach. If a person mattered to you a certain way before this life-changing event, they should matter to you just the same after; no more and no less. You can be there to help them navigate their new life, and you can remind them you're still there for them; that is the bare minimum.

But by all means, please don't ask them for money.

The family in the story below had a tradition–every year on Grandma's birthday, they would all go out to buy lottery tickets and fill in the numbers with important dates for the family. They didn't pay for the tickets together, and no one was forced to participate; it was just a fun activity they all did together.

This year, one of the cousins filled in his ticket with the numbers using Grandma's birthday, his Dad's birthday, and his own graduation date, and managed to actually win! He was so happy about the win that he didn't think anyone in the family would be unsupportive about it. He thought they would be happy that someone had finally won, thanks to the family tradition.

Boy, was he wrong.

Upon hearing about the win, the family demanded that the cousin share his winnings with them, since he used the "family numbers" for the winning ticket. They claimed it was the right thing to do and that they are entitled to the winnings just as much as he was. Safe to say, he disagrees. 

He paid for the ticket, he chose the numbers, so the money was his. He didn't want to become the family ATM, and he didn't want to be looked at any differently. Unfortunately, the family still refuses to back down.

Scroll down to read the rest of the tale.

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  • Young Man Celebrates Buying New Home With Cash and Keys in Hand
    via Garakta Studio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for refusing to share my lottery winnings with my family, even though I used the family numbers?

    I (22M) recently won a decent amount of money in the lottery. Not a massive jackpot, but enough to be life changing for me: pay off debts, buy a small apartment, and invest a bit.
    via NoDatabase10
  • Now for the context. In my family, there's been an informal tradition for years. On my grandma birthday, someone usually plays lottery numbers based on important family dates (birthdays, anniversaries, etc).
    via NoDatabase10
  • Sometimes we play together, sometimes everyone plays on their own. There has never been an explicit agreement that if someone wins, the money gets shared.
    via NoDatabase10
  • It was always treated as a fun tradition. This time, I played alone, with my own money, but I used those dates (to be specific, grandma's birthday day, month and year, my dad's birthday day, and the day and month i graduated).
    via NoDatabase10
  • I won. When I told my family at first it was all celebration. Then the comments started: "These are family numbers." "Without the tradition, you wouldn't have won." "It would only be fair to share, even just a little." Some relatives are genuinely struggling financially (unemployment, debt), others aren't.
    via NoDatabase10
  • I told them I'm not going to split the prize because: \- I paid for the ticket myself \- There was never any agreement to share winnings \- If I had lost (like I did many times before), no one would have reimbursed me \- Money changes dynamics, and I don't want to become the family ATM (not that i won enough to be called an ATM but you get it) That said, I did offer to help in specific situations (like, helping with a small debt once or twice), but not to divide the prize.
    via NoDatabase10
  • This was seen as arrogant and selfish. One aunt even said I "got rich off the family." Now part of my family isn't speaking to me, and they're treating me like I betrayed everyone.
    via NoDatabase10
  • My parents are split: they say I'm technically right, but that sharing would avoid conflict. AITA for not sharing the winnings, even though I used numbers tied to my family?
    via NoDatabase10
  • EDIT (why did i tell them in the first place?): I didn't see winning as creating any obligation to split the money, so it honestly didn't occur to me that telling them would be an issue.
    via NoDatabase10
  • I told them out of transparency, not to tease or mislead anyone. At the time, I genuinely expected them to be happy that the tradition worked for once, not to see it as something I owed them.
    via NoDatabase10
  • I would have told them regardless, even if the numbers had been completely random. Now, after this whole thing and reading some of the comments, I'm not so sure I would.
    via NoDatabase10
  • Person Holding Lottery Tickets
    via Mehaniq

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • These-Ad-4907 Not everyone will be happy for you. You learned a valuable lesson. Never talk about money with anyone. How many people want a share?
    via These-Ad-4907
  • NoDatabase10 Original Poster's Reply 5 out of 7 aunts and uncles on dad side of the family
    via NoDatabase10
  • votemarvel I guess the question is would you have expected a share if anyone else had won? Plus if this was a tradition then how have no other family members played those same numbers?
    via votemarvel
  • NoDatabase10 Original Poster's Reply It's arbitrary, there isn't a specific fixed set of numbers that belongs to the family. We usually just think of any meaningful family event and use the date so I followed that same line of thinking when I used my graduation. Could've been someone else's birthday date, wedding date, yada yada yada
    via NoDatabase10
  • CapableOutside8226 Stop telling people your financial business. Maybe give everyone $5
    via CapableOutside8226
  • keeplauraweird NTA but if you didn't plan to share the wealth, why did you tell them? The cardinal rule is keep mum about it or massively downplay how much you won.
    via keeplauraweird
  • KaijuAlert - NTA if they played "the family numbers" they could have won too. Let the gold diggers be mad, if you're lucky they may even block you
    via KaijuAlert
  • Andagonism You were foolish to tell people you won. What you should have done is waited a few months and then said you used the numbers for that particular week, by picking random numbers. But hindsight is a great thing. The fact these people are not pleased for you and instead demanding a share, means not only are they greedy, but they are not putting you or your future first. NTA. We all walk our own path in life. There was nothing stopping them from doing the numbers.
    via Andagonism
  • Popular_Love2439 They could have also easily played those numbers themselves and won as well! You owe no one nothing.
    via Popular_Love2439

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family drama ATM lottery grandma winner aunt dad uncle winning the lottery family mom money
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