Dance teacher refuses to let the only boy in class quit lessons after he claims he's too busy to keep going, his dad stands up to teacher on his behalf: ‘We're leaving’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 31, 2026 4:00 PM EST

There's no point in keeping up with something that does not bring you joy.

How many hobbies did you have when you were a kid? My mom loved to sign my sister and me up for all kinds of classes in our community center when we were young. I did ballet, chess, tennis, pottery, and even theater all by the time I was 10. Some classes lasted a few months, others stuck with me through high school, but I always loved trying new things and experimenting with new hobbies whenever I could.

Our mom always encouraged us to give each hobby a fair chance, but if we didn't like it after more than ten classes, she was always attentive and ready to switch things up if that's what we felt we needed. That's why tennis only lasted two months in our household, and why I am still so bad at pottery to this day.

The fact that I was never forced to keep up with a class that I didn't enjoy really helped me figure out what my interests are, like musical theatre and dance, and those I still carry with me to this day, even without the community classes. I am forever grateful for my mom and how she handled all of that.

Which is why I know the young 12-year-old boy in the story below will also be thankful for his parents. When he was a toddler, his mom signed him up for tap dance classes, and for a while, he loved it. But after a few years of doing it, the young teen developed interests in other hobbies, and dance is no longer one of them. In order to have enough time for the things he actually wants to do, the teen turned to his parents and asked them to stop the dancing lessons. And even though his mom was sad about it, she respected his decision.

The person who had an even harder time accepting his decision was actually the dance teacher, who was not ready to say goodbye to the only boy in class. She confronted the parents for their decision to pull their son from the classes, and crossed many lines in the process…

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  • Children Practicing Tap Dancing
    via adamkaz

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for taking my son out of dance class?

    When our son was a toddler he and my wife did a mommy & me tapdancing class, and it was awesome.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • We still have the videos. She used to dance, and she wanted him to keep up with it, and he did for a while.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • As he has gotten older he's developed other hobbies, and school takes up more of his time.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • He also rarely does performances, because they usually conflict with our schedule. He mostly just does the classes.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • He's about to turn twelve, and he told us he feels overbooked with everything. At the same time, his teacher reached out to us about finding a way to have him at more performances, because it would be nice to have a boy doing the boy parts of some of the dances.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • I talked to my wife about asking him if he wants to quit dance. She was really against it, but she said we can ask if he wants anything off the schedule.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • We asked if there was anything he wasn't 100% about, and he said dance. She was upset and asked if he wanted to give it another year and then decide.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • Teenage Girl in Tap Shoes Dancing Outdoors, Closeup
    via @africa-images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He said no, he needs the free time now. I emailed the teacher saying we were leaving, and she called me.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • She said this was a huge mistake, that he had so much potential, and that we were throwing away so many opportunities.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • My son doesn't want to grow up to be a professional tap-dancer, so I'm not sure what opportunities he's throwing away.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • She also said all the girls love him and will be sad. Okay, and? What does that have to do with anything?
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • She also called my wife, and I guess they had a very different conversation. My wife changed her mind, but I said it's his decision, and we already told him he could quit, so it's done.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • I've since gotten calls from the dance teacher twice more. The first one, she accused me of being a bad father, so I hung up.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • The second I didn't even answer. My wife is sad. My son picked up on it and now is saying maybe he should go back to dance class.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • I said if he dances it should be for himself, not anyone else. He says he doesn't know what he wants.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • I'm not sure how I ended up being the bad guy here. I've got this teacher in my voicemail giving me a hard time, my wife is filling the house with melancholy sighs, and now my son is feeling guilty, and it's all my fault.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • I feel like an asshole, even though I don't actually think I did anything wrong.
    via Subject_Gift_3891

  • Starfoxy

    Starfoxy Put your daughter in a different ballet school. You absolutely should not continue to support a teacher who throws around accusations like that with your patronage.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • Subject_Gift_3891 Original Poster's Reply I'm not going to punish my daughter by taking her away from her friends and (different) teacher she loves because of an unrelated situation with her brother.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • mcmurrml I am sure these places are desperate to have a boy who is good at it. The thing is he isn't interested. Are you sure he isn't being teased at school about this?
    via mcmurrml
  • Subject_Gift_3891 Original Poster's Reply I doubt most of his classmates know he dances, since it's not through the school, but either way he isn't being teased. He goes to private school, and we are a very tight knit community.
    via Subject_Gift_3891
  • PrincessBella1 NTA. I would ask the teacher would she feel the same if he weren't a boy. It sounds like she is putting her wants against your son's. Also I wonder if she gets paid per student and anyone leaving will reduce her salary. Either way, he doesn't want to dance. It isn't going to benefit him in the long run. You are being a great dad for listening.
    via PrincessBella1
  • Subject_Gift_3891 Original Poster's Reply Him being a boy is a huge part of it. She doesn't want to lose her male dancer. But that's not really our problem, as mean as that is to say.
    via Subject_Gift_3891

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dancing class mother lessons teacher parenting family dance son parents children Father
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