Elderly woman struggles to back out of snowy driveway, criticizes neighbors with 6-month-old for not shovelling it: 'You didn't even bother to do anything'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jan 30, 2026 9:00 PM EST

Being a good neighbor is all about having consideration.

This starts with the basics, like keeping the noise down and maintaining a clean property, and it extends all the way to helping out the people that live around you. Developing a good relationship with your neighbors can be very rewarding, and is one of the crucial building blocks towards creating that community that we are all told we need to pay more attention to. It is, in most cases, a good thing to do.

That being said, enjoying a cordial relationship with those who live near us can sometimes be a struggle. No matter how you try to spin it, some people are just terrible neighbors with whom even basic politeness is going to take a lot of effort. Others may appear friendly and decent, but when you help them out, it becomes a tacit expectation that you should be there to solve all of their problems. While supporting neighbors is a great thing to do, the reality is that everybody has their own obligations that mean they may not always be able to come to the rescue. There is a certain type of person who will not hesitate to guilt trip about this.

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  • a man pushes a small snow plow across a snowy sidewalk in a suburban neighborhood with a tree in the foreground
    via Nellie Adamyan

  • These kinds of scenarios are particularly difficult when they involve a vulnerable individual who may not be able to do everything they need to by themselves. 

    A young mom recently faced a moral quandary when her neighborhood saw heavy snowfall. She noticed that her elderly neighbor was having difficulty backing out of her driveway, but chose not to help her, as she didn't feel comfortable leaving her baby alone in the house. Her husband had previously helped out this neighbor by moving the lawn their properties shared and bringing her trash can inside for her.

    When she next spoke with her neighbor, she confronted her for not helping with the state of her driveway. She explained why she felt she wasn't able to do anything, but she wasn't sure if she had made the right decision.

  • Am I wrong for not helping my elderly neighbor shovel her driveway?

    I 26F live with my husband 28M and under 6month old baby. We have lived in our house for almost a year now and have been happy so far.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • We live next to this lady who I would say she in her mid 80s. My husband this summer was kind enough to mow the strip between our houses every time he mowed and we bring up her tash bin for her after they pick up each week.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • My husband offered to mow her yard if her son didnt have time to come do it one week.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • She declined and made a comment about liking her son coming to visit. This past weekend we had the first real snow since we moved in and its been in the negative.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • I probably shoveled three times taking about an hour each time to move the snow from my driveway.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • I also went over and shovel a strip from my neighbor door to her trash bin.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • While my husband watch our baby while he worked from home due to the weather. Tuesday my husband and I both had to return to office and when I got home I notice track that looked like my neighbor could back out her driveway but drove through my yard and out my driveway.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • We didnt mind understand we live on a busy street that didnt get plowed well and its probably safer for her.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • Wednesday when I got home from picking up my baby from daycare after work I notice my neighbor trying to back out her driveway and got stuck.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • I wanted to go help but didnt feel comfortable leaving my son in the house alone and there no safe way to bring him out so I could help. so I called my husband but he was and hour away for work.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • She end up being able to drive out after some back and forth. Thursday when I was working from home and taking both trash cans down.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • She walked outside and said "if you would have came out and helped me spun my tires" I apologize and said "sorry I was home alone with my son maybe if he was down for a nap I could have helped but he was being grumpy." She huffs and said "you guys didnt even bother to do anything about my driveway." I again apologize and said "sorry my back was way to tight after our drive way i didnt want to hurt myself a second one and I assumed your son would stop by or something." She huffed and said "he to
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • I went back to work and spent my day confused wondering if I am an ass whole for not shoveling her driveways too.
    via SquashImaginary7091
  • a woman wearing winter clothing pushes a small snow plow in front of a large house during snowy weather
    via Nellie Adamyan
  • Total_Influence_3075 NTA. She can hire someone for snow removal. Your priority is your baby.
    via Total_Influence_3075
  • ShadyNoShadow >She huffs and said "you guys didnt even bother to do anything about my driveway." LMAO what's she want you to do, make the snow go away? You've got kids, they deserve your time. Your neighbor needs to hire a service or buy a Toro Snow Thrower.
    via ShadyNoShadow
  • PlantyPenPerson NTA and she was rude for speaking to you that way. In the future, limit your help because she doesn't appreciate it, she expects it. My coworker used to always remind me, no good deed goes unpunished. She can go back to doing what she did before you moved in. Also, don't let her drive on your lawn or driveway, that could cause problems later.
    via PlantyPenPerson
  • PinkPaintedSky NTA and now she has bit the hand that feeds her so you need to pull back. She is only going to get more entitled along the way.
    via PinkPaintedSky
  • KittyKiitos My parents are too old to be shoveling their driveway. They pay a service. She can, her son can. Take care of yourself and your baby. And don't waste time on people who don't care about your kid.
    via KittyKiitos
  • rainydaymonday30 NTA. She just burned a bridge. Stop helping her with anything.
    via rainydaymonday30
  • VieuxCaRaye And now you all don't need to worry about mowing or moving the ingrate's trash cans. Just because someone makes it to an older age doesn't mean they can't be an entitled bitch. As soon as the ground thaws, put up a fence.
    via VieuxCaRaye
  • Impressive Rush5018 NTA. It's not your driveway and that 80 something year old woman isn't your child. I would have my husband stop doing favors for her since she doesn't appreciate them and is now expecting free labor from the neighbors. I.e. you guys
    via Impressive_Rush5018
  • willowviolet NTA Sounds like she might not be okay to live alone anymore if she no longer has the mental capacity to solve her own problems. Have a talk with her son.
    via willowviolet
  • vabirder I'm an old lady and would never think I was entitled to help on demand. She can hire someone to clear her driveway or call an Uber for a ride.
    via vabirder

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baby snow neighborhood winter Bad Neighbor entitled people shovel
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