Mom brings 2-year-old on mom friend's childfree vacation, gets annoyed when she doesn't want to babysit: 'I just want a break'

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  • a woman wearing a bathing suit and shorts leans down and holds the hand of a toddler who is crouching at the edge of the sea surf
  • Am I wrong for wanting a break?

    1 (22F) and a friend (24F) have kids the same age (2). We recently did a girls' beach trip.
  • I left my child at home with my husband for the first time and in consequence for the first time in two years was child-free (my husband does what he can regarding our kid and does a lot but is gone a lot for work so I've never been apart from my kid for more than a few hours before someone says I have a husband issue.
  • That isn't the issue here). My friend brought her child which no one in the group had a problem with at all.
  • Except my friend has a habit of letting, or rather forcing, others to watch/parent her kid.
  • Every time we hang out she kinda checks out, goes on her phone or wonders off and sort of... dumps her kid on the friend group.
  • Well, on this beach trip (overnight), she did just that to me. Now, remember this is the first time in a long time I've been kid-free (of at least my kid- free) and here she is, dumping her kid on me.
  • Her kid is asking me to play with them, walk with them, you know, kid stuff.
  • And I just want a BREAK. But here my friend is, playing on her phone just totally checked out.
  • I try to redirect her kid back to her saying "oh you should ask your mom to play" to which she says without missing a beat "no, you have more patience for (kids name) anyway.
  • You play with him." My bl d boiled and I explained to her that I left my kid at home because I wanted to be kid-free for the night and not babysit hers.
  • She rolled her eyes and I just lost it and told her to "stop being lazy and watch your own kid." Of course, she was p ed but the rest of the group had my back.
  • But my "friend" was so angry I can't help but feel like I'm in the wrong.
  • the back of the head of a woman with her hair tied up, as she lies on her back by the edge of the sea surf
  • Thin_Pie1880 NTA. I would have left the room. The audacity of some people man. I get it, she's exhausted too, but that doesn't mean that she can make it YOUR problem on YOUR vacation. Lesson learned, the next time you go on vacation, make sure no one is bringing a kid.
  • Nice-Cranberry-6788 Original Poster's Reply oh lesson learnt for sure!
  • Nearby-Ad5666 NTA she should parent her own child or should have left them with a caregiver
  • ehumanbeing NTA. You arranged for care for your child. Your friend chose to bring their child along so it is their job to watch their kid.
  • Every-End7495 Your friend brought her kid, so she has to watch HER OWN kid. NTA
  • rockology_adam NTA. I am a firm believer in it taking a village to raise a kid, but the village has to be willing, and nothing turns people off a kid more than a parent using their friends to ignore their own child. I'm glad you called your friend out, I'm glad your friends had your back, and if your friend needs a target for her anger, tell her the bathroom has mirrors.
  • Drama-Mama7 NTA She shouldn't have brought her kid in the first place if she's not gonna take care of/ babysit them. It's a girls trip, so it was supposed to be kid-free. Going forward make sure that no one is bringing their kid in a girls only trip.
  • Different-Mood-5643 Absolutely NTA. I have 4 kids that I homeschool and care for. I wouldn't have even brought my kids to something like that and certainly wouldn't expect someone else to parent. I will admit when I visit my inlaws I check out of parenting a little because they basically encourage it by telling me to go nap in the other room or waiting on me hand and foot so I indulge to a degree but even then I still parent my kids and entertain or care for them when necessary, honestly your fr

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