Mom refuses to change her baby's name because her father-in-law hates the name: 'Her name is Elena. If you can’t use her actual name, we’re going to have a problem.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Feb 17, 2026 4:00 PM EST

Her name is not even outlandish to begin with!

Should a parent have to consent to the nicknames other family members give their baby? It really depends! If your brother-in-law keeps calling your baby "Stinky" as a joke, that might get old after a while. You wouldn't want your little girl to feel insecure because she was constantly called "Stinky" throughout her childhood. Then again, "Stinky" is one of those nicknames that's relatively harmless if it's only really used when the baby is pre-verbal. If your baby can't understand language yet, the only people who might take umbrage with such a nickname are the adults around them. If the mother of the baby is upset that the whole family keeps calling her pride and joy "Stinky," it's probably time to retire the nickname. 

Not all nicknames come from a place of affection. Some of them come from a hatred of somebody's full name. If your mother-in-law started calling your baby by a nickname because she was bitter that you didn't choose the baby name she wanted, you would tell her to get a grip, and rightfully so! It's totally normal for a nickname to evolve because it's shorter and easier to say than the full name. Adopting a nickname isn't inherently disrespectful of one's full name, but it certainly can be. Just ask the parents of baby Elena! Apparently, that name is far too long and complex for her grandfather to handle. 

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  • A woman holding a baby in her arms
    via Hans (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The parents in this story named their baby "Elena," and the baby's grandpa has a huge problem with that. He thinks the name is too fancy and opts to call her "Ellie" instead. The parents probably wouldn't have a problem with that nickname if it didn't come from anger and resentment, but it did. 

  • Am I wrong for refusing to change our baby’s name because my father-in-law hates it?

    My husband (30M) and I (29F) just had our first baby two weeks ago. We named her "Elena." We both love the name, it has meaning to us, and we agreed on it early in the pregnancy.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • Enter my father-in- law (mid 60s). From the moment we announced the name, he's been vocal about not liking it.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • Man in blue quarter-zip sweatshirt
    via engin akyurt

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He says it's "too fancy," "too hard to pronounce" (it's really not), and that we should have named her after my husband's late mother.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • Senior woman at home enjoying hot drink laughing close up
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • For context, we did consider honoring her, but ultimately decided we wanted our daughter to have her own name.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • At the hospital, he made a comment like, "Well, I guess I'll just call her Ellie since that's more normal." I brushed it off at the time because I was exhausted and didn't want to argue.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • Since we've been home, he's doubled down. He refers to her exclusively as "Ellie" and even posted on Facebook welcoming "Baby Ellie" to the family.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • I politely corrected him in the comments, saying, "Her name is Elena ." He later called my husband and said I embarrassed him publicly.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • Last weekend he came over and again kept calling her Ellie. I finally said, "Her name is Elena.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • If you can't use her actual name, we're going to have a problem." He said I was being disrespectful and that "in this family we honor tradition." Now he's telling extended family that I'm trying to erase their family history and that I'm "keeping his granddaughter from him" because I said we'd limit visits if he can't respect her name.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • My husband agrees his dad is being stubborn, but thinks threatening to limit visits was "too extreme" and that we should just let the nickname thing go to keep the peace.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • I feel like this is about basic respect. It's her name. We chose it. I don't think it's asking much for him to use it.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • So... am I the j for drawing a line over this?
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • Top_Background7048 Honestly this feels like a power move from him. Testing how much he can push. If you cave now it'll be something else later. It's not about "Ellie," it's about respect. Elena is her name. Period. You're not wrong for expecting him to use it.
    via u/Top_Background7048
  • NoPickle1851 Original Poster's Reply Yeah... that's kinda what I'm scared of tbh. It doesn't even feel like it's about the nickname anymore, it feels like he just doesn't like not getting his way. I don't want to start drama, especially this early on, but I also don't want to set the tone that he can just override our decisions as parents. Appreciate you saying that. Makes me feel less crazy for wanting to stand my ground.
    via u/NoPickle1851
  • Livid-Bottle-8512 You just had a baby two weeks ago and this man is beefing over a name?? Wild. You're not erasing history, you just made a different choice. Also nicknaming someone against the parents' wishes is lowkey disrespectful. Keep the boundary. It's not mean, it's normal.
    via u/Livid-Bottle-8512
  • Remarkable-Call-9608 Girl... it's Elena. Not a tongue twister. He's being dramatic. This isn't about tradition, it's about him not getting his way. You correcting him isn't embarrassing him, he embarrassed himself. Stand your ground. If he can't use her name, that's a him problem.
    via u/Remarkable-Call-9608
  • batch 1972 You seem to have both a father in law problem and a husband problem. He needs to support your decision to get tough on the in law. This will end up being the thin end of the wedge.
    via u/batch1972
  • mickey-0717 So if his name is Bob. Start calling him Bill and see how he likes it.
    via u/mickey-0717
  • Funny-Charity4399 You didn't threaten him out of nowhere. You set a boundary after he ignored you multiple times. That's fair. Peacekeeping by letting people steamroll you never actually brings peace. If he wants access, he can start with the bare minimum which is saying her actual name.
    via u/Funny-Charity4399
  • UnseenGoblin Honestly, Ellie is a perfectly good nickname for Elena, but your father-in-law is coming from a place of trying to be hurtful. If it were me? I would just give him a nickname because I'm a petty b. So if his name is Mitch, I'd start calling him Mimi, because Mitch is so long and old-fashioned. Or whatever. Not the j, but I wouldn't make this a hill to di on. I would just fight petty with petty. NTJ
    via u/UnseenGoblin
  • RichComputer5431 yahh if u let this go, the next thing will be holidays, childcare choices, and parenting choices. stop it now. start with simple acts of respect.
    via u/RichComputer5431
  • Huge-Personality-737 NTJ! Your husband needs to shine up his spine and tell his father that his daughter's name is Elena. If he can't respect that then he is not welcome to see her. If your husband isn't going to shine up his spine, then he needs to live with daddy.
    via u/Huge-Personality-737
  • CeramicSavage Ntj. Stick to your guns. This is only the first battle in a long war for control. If you give in now, it will never end. UpdateMe
    via u/CeramicSavage

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family drama daughter in law baby baby names parenting dad father in law Grandpa nicknames mom
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