Guy demands woman pay half the bill the day after a date, after he planned everything and she traveled two hours to meet him

Advertisement
  • Young woman in a dark coat and scarf standing at a train station platform, looking at her smartphone, with a red commuter train and ornate metal station structure in the background.
  • Hi! Yesterday I (24f) went on a date with a guy (25m). He initiated the date and he made the plans to go to a restaurant after he got home from work.
  • When we got there he insisted that we should start of with come cocktails before we ordered food and drinks.
  • So we did. We had a nice time and we talked a lot. He paid the bill and he followed me to the train station (I traveled about 2h in total to meet him).
  • I kept thinking about him paying for everything and I told myself that if we go on a second date I will pay for everything then.
  • To make up for it and we would be even. I sent him a text this morning and thanked for last night and he sent a similar text back.
  • Not until then did he ask me if I got home okay and I told him that I did.
  • Woman in a dark coat standing inside a commuter train, holding a handrail and talking on her smartphone, with blue poles and digital station signage visible in the background.
  • After that I get a message from him where he asks if I could pay for my half of the dinner since it got more expensive than he originally thought and that he, and I quote "is not made of money".
  • Here's the thing. I will pay for my half. But I also said that I would've preferred to have this discussion beforehand since I would've been fine with splitting the bill then and there.
  • But what also bugs me is that I'm the one who traveled there and he made all of the plans and he's the one that asked me out.
  • Woman in a dark coat and scarf sitting on a wooden bench at a train station, looking down at her smartphone, with a commuter train and bicycle symbol visible behind her.
  • Now that he asked me for money that way I honestly got an ick... What do you guys think?
  • argentoowl Ngl, it would give me an ick, especially if I had to travel 2h to him. I'd personally sent him money and cut my losses.
  • Odd_Dragonfly_4213 Original Poster's Reply This is what I'm thinking too! Before this I had planned to sort of pay him back by taking him out in return... but now I'm not too keen about that.
  • No_Landscape6201 Honestly, the ick makes sense. Asking after the date especially when he planned everything and pushed the pricier choices feels off. Splitting is fine, but the timing and tone say a lot about him
  • Odd_Dragonfly_4213 Original Poster's Reply Yes, it's the fact that he pushed for these choices that feels off to me. A friend told him that he did this because he isn't interested in me and does not like to see me again. But I'm not sure about that.
  • Adorable_Secret8498 Block and move on. You owe him nothing and him bringing it up after the fact isn't how you handle this I'm confused why you're traveling so far for a date in the first place but that's for another day
  • Odd_Dragonfly_4213 Original Poster's Reply It's not that far actually even though it sounds far! I work in that city so I'm used to the commute.
  • Glitter-luck He sounds like a Send him a bill for the travel time and transportation costs back. It would be a tiny bit better if he hadn't said that awful "I'm not made of money" sentence. Don't ask a woman out then if you're that cheap. I once dated a guy who would pay for dinner and drinks and lunches in public (even when I wanted to pay for my food myself) and then later privately sent me a bill for all the money I owed him. So he only wanted to play Mr Nice in front of strangers. Your guy m
  • Odd_Dragonfly_4213 Original Poster's Reply He seemed to nice yesterday so I got a chock to be honest with you haha! I will pay him for my half and move on. If he had been upfront last night before the waitress came with the bill it would've been much, much better. This just feels wrong
  • Afromat As a man, this is a major red flag. I'm personally someone who always paid for meals when I invited someone on a date (I'm now happily married). But I also understand not everyone can afford to do this so I'm super ok with the concept of splitting bills on dates, but 100% he should have talked about this at the restaurant. This feels weird like a bait and switch. Like he hoped by paying you may "reward him." and when you didn't he decided to split it. Which is SUPER gross. Major red flag
  • Odd_Dragonfly_4213 Original Poster's Reply Thank you for your input! English is not my first language so that might be why the wording is a little bit off :) saying that someone "followed me to the train station" is how you say it in my mother tongue. It was indeed a walk and we talked and laughed all the way to the train station! Nothing weird about the walk, it was a nice gesture actually!
  • mandiexile You're really good at English. I assumed it was your first language.
  • Odd_Dragonfly_4213 Original Poster's Reply Thank you! :)
  • Queen_Aurelia How much is your share of the bill? I think asking for money the next day is ridiculous. My assumption would be that he is not interested in you. Any man that is actually interested in a woman would never do this. If it were me, I would pay it and the never talk to him again.
  • Odd_Dragonfly_4213 Original Poster's Reply I'm not in the US, but my guess is that you are so my share is about $44 so that's fine for me honestly. I don't mind paying, but I would've 100% preferred to have split the bill at the restaurant...
  • Odd_Dragonfly_4213 Original Poster's Reply UPDATE: I talked with him about this tonight. I paid him. Most of you told me not to do it. But I just wanted to be done with it. It's also not a very big city and I work there and I will move to that city in a few months so I don't want to risk running into him if we left it off on a bad note. He also told me that he didn't feel the spark that he was looking for so we've agreed to put an end to all of this. I can't help but feel like he did a "return"
  • Same-Cap4970 I'm a guy and this is a huge turn off. He asked you out, chose the restaurant, asked to have cocktails; led the date- he pays. Period. You can pay "your half" or not, but then ghost him. He wants to "look like the man" paying the bill, but then hits you up for money →
  • Mindless_Ad_8328 He must know that you are unlikely to go on another date with him if he does that. Maybe the best thing is to just to block him and move on.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article