Wife grapples with moving into a home that her husband refuses to legally leave to her in the case of his passing: ‘I just feel uneasy’

It's important to second-guess whether your partner is looking out for your best interest.

Sometimes, they only care about you in relation to them—not autonomously. If that's the case, you might want to think about who you're starting a life with. 

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  • A couple holds a set of house keys.
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    A couple holds a set of house keys.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Moving in with your partner is an exciting experience. For one, you're beginning a new chapter of your life. You have the house keys, the boxes all ready to be moved, and a big smile on your face throughout the whole process. This chapter is meant for love, living, and finding out who you are with your partner under the same roof. It might be daunting at first, but with the right person, everything falls into place much quicker than you'd ever realize.

    What do you do if your partner makes it clear that it's their home? As in, there are no safeguards in place for you if they pass? That's what happens in this next story. Scroll to read.

  • "AITAH for not wanting to move into a house I’ll never have any legal claim to?"

    I (38F) signed a prenup before marrying my husband (42M) because he has significant business assets and investment properties.
    via spangleddangle
  • The agreement says that anything purchased before or even during the marriage is separate property unless it's jointly titled.
    via spangleddangle
  • And even if something is jointly owned, ownership is strictly based on financial contribution. So if one person pays 90%, they own 90%.
    via spangleddangle
  • If we divorce, he keeps everything that's his separate property, and I would only receive my portion of jointly owned assets based on what I financially contributed.
    via spangleddangle
  • That's what we agreed on and I'm fine with that In the event of d h, it's different.
    via spangleddangle

  • All of this seems fairly reasonable. The fella clearly wants to protect what he owns, and there's nothing wrong with that. The more you protect in a prenuptial agreement, the less likely you are to hold certain things over your partner's head (and vice versa). Prenups are a hot topic for some reason, but they do exist to function as a safeguard for couples who share (or don't share) assets.

    The issue here? There are no safeguards in place for the woman if her partner passes. They give it to their child, but not them… How can you confidently start a life with someone who doesn't intend to take care of you (somehow) after all is said and done?

    What would you do here? Sound off in the comments below.

  • A marriage certificate lies on the table.
    via Fotógrafo Samuel Cruz

    A marriage certificate lies on the table.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Anything held jointly would 100% pass to me. But anything he owns separately would pass to his nephew.
    via spangleddangle
  • From what he's said, his nephew would essentially control everything he owns (as executor or trustee).
    via spangleddangle
  • I also have no issue there. Now he's talking about buying his parents' house and having us move into it as our family home.
    via spangleddangle
  • It would be purchased into a trust and structured as his separate property. If we divorce, I would not get the house or any equity, which I understand and accept under the prenup.
    via spangleddangle
  • The problem - I asked what would happen to the house if he d s. He said our 10- month-old daughter would be the beneficiary, and his nephew would be the trustee/executor.
    via spangleddangle
  • So I wouldn't own the house, control it, or have guaranteed rights to remain there in the event of his d h.
    via spangleddangle
  • I'm struggling with the idea of building our family life in a home that I'm structurally guaranteed not to have a long-term claim to.
    via spangleddangle
  • I'm not trying to undo the prenup or take his family's property. I just feel uneasy about making our primary family home something I have zero legal protection in.
    via spangleddangle
  • AITAH? EDIT 1 - Holy cow I didn't expect this post to gain so much traction.
    via spangleddangle
  • I posted it last night before bed and woke up to too many comments to even read through.
    via spangleddangle
  • I'll edit again later today to provide some clarification on a few things.
    via spangleddangle

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