Parents upset after 26-year-old daughter refuses to pay for trip to visit them after they unexpectedly moved to Europe: ‘I absolutely cannot afford to visit them’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 22, 2026 5:00 PM EDT

When a family member moves thousands of miles away, a debate on who is more obligated to travel to visit always follows.

The parents below decided to uproot their whole lives and move to Europe, and in the process, they left their two daughters behind. While you can support people's decision to follow their dream or enjoy the ebbs and flows of life, you can also acknowledge that when someone makes a drastic change like that, it can affect the people around them.

So, the parents moved, and for some reason, they believe the responsibility to still get the family together falls on their 26-year-old daughter. They demand she pay for a trip to visit them, and refuse to help her carry the financial burden of a trip to Europe. And when she told them a trip like that wasn't something that she could currently afford, they acted like she was the one in the wrong.

Which brings us back to the question: when someone moves away, are they responsible for trips to visit the rest of the family, or should others make the effort to travel to see them?

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  • Elderly Couple Sitting on the Sofa Looking at a Phone.
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    Elderly Couple Sitting on the Sofa Looking at a Phone.

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  • Family moved 6,000 miles overseas and expect me to pay for visits.

    Hi for some asking perspective and clarity, if needed. I (26F) have parents who recently moved abroad to Europe.
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  • This is not the first time they have done this, however this is the first time that it has caused such drastic inconvenience.
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  • My father moved out in Oct '25, my mother is expected to joint him this summer.
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  • This was move of their own volition, they actively had to defy their work and jump through many hurdles to make it happen.
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  • Both have expectations that I fly from the US to visit them for holidays, on my own dime.
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  • I work a full time job with very sub- par pay and my family is very much aware that my partner and I are budgeting intensely and often paycheck to paycheck.
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  • My parents are both extremely high earners with a large savings, making about $400K+ a year together.
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    Woman Looking Serious While Using Laptop.

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  • I do not receive any financial supplementation nor assistance from them whatsoever. I do not expect them to use their money on me, but when they are requesting I come visit, and growing upset when I can't, yet still refusing to pay..
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  • I genuinely cannot tell if I am in the wrong here or not. Along with that, the first time they moved out, in 2020, I was the age that my younger sister is now (20).
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  • My parents made 0 considerations for me during this move, never attempted to have me come out to live there, etc.
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  • It was as if it was not an option at all. During this move, they have been bending over backwards to ensure my sister can live out there with them.
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  • When I was 19, I moved across the world to a country that was thousands of miles away from my parents and my sisters. I wanted to experience parts of the world I never knew, and I needed to do it solo. My parents supported my decision, but they made it clear that if I wished to see the family, I would have to be the one to pay for a trip back home. I never once expected any of my family members to come and visit me and pay for it all themselves. The decision to move was mine, so the responsibility to see the family was also mine.

    The same rules should also apply to this family, but unfortunately, the parents are not on the same page as I am.

  • The contrast has been deeply devastating to me. I am struggling to cope with my family's expectations for me to pay money I absolutely cannot afford, to visit them.
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  • It's even more challenging when my sister's tickets and visits are being completely covered, as well as great amounts of planning/thought regarding how she can live with them.
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  • AITAH for expecting my parents to help/pay for my tickets to visit them?
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  • Otherwise-Wall-6950 "I'd love to visit but simply can't afford it."
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  • LowerMine815 NTA. Tell them you would love to visit but do not have the money. You can't just make that money appear. If they want you to visit, they'll have to pay. If they dont want to pay, they won't see you. It's that simple.
    via LowerMine815
  • Secret-Sample1683 NTA. If you can't afford it, don't go. Period. Telling them so doesn't make you wrong.
    via Secret-Sample1683
  • Life_Temperature2506 Repeat after me: "No". NTA
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  • RJack151 NTA. If you cannot afford to go and they will not pay for you to go, then Facetime them instead. You do not owe them a visit.
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  • Dachshundmom5 You know you can just say no right? You are 26 years old. Its time to work on being your own person and not a doormat for their expectations. "Mom/Dad you chose to move away which means it cant spend holidays with you. Hope you have happy holidays." Dont focus on expecting them to pay. Focus on building your own life without catering to selfish people. Get some counseling if standing up for yourself is something that always makes you feel like an AH.
    via Dachshundmom5
  • Imaginary-Editor4386 Ahhh, family. We need them but don't always see them. That's what happened with your parents. I don't know why they did not see you, but you bet, it hurts! Are you the Responsible One? The Capable one? They have heard your words, but bc of past experiences they expect you to take care of it. Be the grown up. Simply explain there is no way trips to Europe will fit into your budget. Suggest we zoom and know u still love them and hope they are enjoying Europe.
    via Imaginary-Editor4386
  • Amareldys NTA Visit when you can. Host them when you can. You alone get to decide what "can" means.
    via Amareldys

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europe family drama kids mother siblings parenting family sister trip women parents children Father vacation afford
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