Parents upset after 26-year-old daughter refuses to pay for trip to visit them after they unexpectedly moved to Europe: ‘I absolutely cannot afford to visit them’

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  • Elderly Couple Sitting on the Sofa Looking at a Phone.
  • Family moved 6,000 miles overseas and expect me to pay for visits.

    Hi for some asking perspective and clarity, if needed. I (26F) have parents who recently moved abroad to Europe.
  • This is not the first time they have done this, however this is the first time that it has caused such drastic inconvenience.
  • My father moved out in Oct '25, my mother is expected to joint him this summer.
  • This was move of their own volition, they actively had to defy their work and jump through many hurdles to make it happen.
  • Both have expectations that I fly from the US to visit them for holidays, on my own dime.
  • I work a full time job with very sub- par pay and my family is very much aware that my partner and I are budgeting intensely and often paycheck to paycheck.
  • My parents are both extremely high earners with a large savings, making about $400K+ a year together.
  • Woman Looking Serious While Using Laptop
  • I do not receive any financial supplementation nor assistance from them whatsoever. I do not expect them to use their money on me, but when they are requesting I come visit, and growing upset when I can't, yet still refusing to pay..
  • I genuinely cannot tell if I am in the wrong here or not. Along with that, the first time they moved out, in 2020, I was the age that my younger sister is now (20).
  • My parents made 0 considerations for me during this move, never attempted to have me come out to live there, etc.
  • It was as if it was not an option at all. During this move, they have been bending over backwards to ensure my sister can live out there with them.
  • The contrast has been deeply devastating to me. I am struggling to cope with my family's expectations for me to pay money I absolutely cannot afford, to visit them.
  • It's even more challenging when my sister's tickets and visits are being completely covered, as well as great amounts of planning/thought regarding how she can live with them.
  • AITAH for expecting my parents to help/pay for my tickets to visit them?
  • Otherwise-Wall-6950 "I'd love to visit but simply can't afford it."
  • LowerMine815 NTA. Tell them you would love to visit but do not have the money. You can't just make that money appear. If they want you to visit, they'll have to pay. If they dont want to pay, they won't see you. It's that simple.
  • Secret-Sample1683 NTA. If you can't afford it, don't go. Period. Telling them so doesn't make you wrong.
  • Life_Temperature2506 Repeat after me: "No". NTA
  • RJack151 NTA. If you cannot afford to go and they will not pay for you to go, then Facetime them instead. You do not owe them a visit.
  • Dachshundmom5 You know you can just say no right? You are 26 years old. Its time to work on being your own person and not a doormat for their expectations. "Mom/Dad you chose to move away which means it cant spend holidays with you. Hope you have happy holidays." Dont focus on expecting them to pay. Focus on building your own life without catering to selfish people. Get some counseling if standing up for yourself is something that always makes you feel like an AH.
  • Imaginary-Editor4386 Ahhh, family. We need them but don't always see them. That's what happened with your parents. I don't know why they did not see you, but you bet, it hurts! Are you the Responsible One? The Capable one? They have heard your words, but bc of past experiences they expect you to take care of it. Be the grown up. Simply explain there is no way trips to Europe will fit into your budget. Suggest we zoom and know u still love them and hope they are enjoying Europe.
  • Amareldys NTA Visit when you can. Host them when you can. You alone get to decide what "can" means.

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