Woman forbids roommate from using shared office space for 2-3 hours/day, claims she's having 'confidential' meetings

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Apr 1, 2026 10:00 PM EDT

What if your own roommate locked you out of your shared space?

Roommates are not always easy to deal with, even if you have a semi-normal working relationship. Maybe you both keep to yourselves and make sure your areas are clean, but that doesn't mean you won't run into conflict. Stuff is bound to come up, even between the most solid roommates. One of these problems is the use of shared space. Every time you're sharing something, you have to negotiate how you're going to do it. And if you're one of those people who didn't have to grow up sharing anything (cough cough, only children), then you might not be so comfortable with the idea of it. Or you might feel conflict-averse when this stuff comes up. 

The best thing you can do in almost any situation is communicate, and that means putting on your big girl pants and having a potentially difficult conversation. This is not easy to do. You have to be able to keep a clear head and not get too emotional, and you have to make yourself clear. You also have to be okay with compromise. You won't always get everything that you want, and you have to learn to live with that. But you can assert yourself and your needs without feeling bad about it. You don't want to let anyone in your life walk over you without a second glance. 

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  • Girl sits in a shared space in an apartment eating popcorn
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Roommate tells me I can't go in shared office for hours a day.

    Having an issue that hopefully someone has either been through/solved. My roommate "occupies" the shared office space days in a row. They have confidential meetings that I'm not allowed to be present for. There's two desks in the office, but when she tells me I can't go in there, I'm put out for
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • up to 2-3 hours a day. She gets home super early every day, I don't get home until around 7pm. Her meetings are usually from 6- 8 pm (the only hours I have to study at home). She will even occupy the office during weekends when I'm trying to study or decompress with hobbies that require my desk.
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • I'm getting very fed up over this situation and am hoping to find a solution. She doesn't really have much self awareness so my friends have told me to be assertive and even get a little mean. I don't want to do this but feel like I'm being pushed in a corner.
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • TLDR: Roommate tells me I can't go in shared office for 2-3 hours every day. Edit: Thanks everyone for the advice! Everything that's been recommended is exactly what I planned to do, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't coming off as inconsiderate.
    via Specialist-Noise-454

  • Commenters agreed that this needed to be adressed.

    Snarkybish03 Just literally speak up or tell her she needs to pay for exclusive use of the room. Does anyone on this site have a spine?
    via Snarkybish03
  • Specialist-Noise-454 Original Poster's Reply But building my spine is something I hope to achieve! I hate being walked all over and I know it is a weakness
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • nursepenguin36 So you'd rather be uncomfortable thaaan make things uncomfortable? I'd rather be "uncomfortable" while using the space I paid for.
    via nursepenguin36
  • Girl reads a magazine in a room full of books
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The woman in this story found herself in a sticky situation where her roommate was taking up more than her fair share of their common space. Everyone needs to be able to take a private call now and then, but do you get to kick out your roommate when you need to? There's a reason why we have rooms where we can close the door. If you're paying for access to space, you want to be sure that you can use it when you need to. Or else, what are you paying for? The privilege to live with someone who doesn't respect you? Keep reading to see how this story played out and see what you think about it.

  • Specialist-Noise-454 Original Poster's Reply Wait you have a point how much worse could it get if I'm already uncomfortable to begin with?
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • Green_Juggernaut_410 That along with zero home-alone time is why ill never live with another work from home person again. Obnoxious
    via Green_Juggernaut_410
  • Specialist-Noise-454 Original Poster's Reply It's awful. Once this lease is up I'm GONE. She comes home early and lays around for hours so by the time I'm home, her energy has been pent up and she yaps my ears off!! I've actually had to tell her to leave me alone at some points because she follows me around the house!
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • No-Court-2969 Why don't you draw up an office schedule, for when privacy is required, and block out private office time for both parties and the rest is shared office time.
    via No-Court-2969
  • Specialist-Noise-454 Original Poster's Reply That could definitely work. Thanks!
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • Fine-Loquat I think you're going to have to deal with some tension if you want the situation to change. You can do it, OP! Like I tell my kids - courage is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. Good luck
    via Fine-Loquat
  • Specialist-Noise-454 Original Poster's Reply Thank you!!
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • trickdog 1999 I hate having to "get a little mean" or be assertive (I'm a total introvert but totally hide it) in my own home. I'm sorry you're dealing with this
    via trickdog1999
  • Specialist-Noise-454 Original Poster's Reply Being an introvert is not for the weak. Hopefully my new found assertiveness will keep me from having to walk on eggshells in my own home :)
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • Marialnconnu Or, y'know, \talk\ about it first. Because it's possible OP's roommate has a profession with a legal requirement that meetings are private and confidential. Telling them that you are going to use the room before they're actually in a potentially-sensitive meeting would be a much better choice.
    via Marialnconnu
  • Specialist-Noise-454 Original Poster's Reply I have talked about it. I told her it's probably best she takes the private meeting to a more private space due to us both needing the office around that time. She told me she needed certain days of the week to occupy the room, which just doesn't work as I need it just as much. I'm okay with sharing the space, but being put out several days of the week is just inconvenient
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • BananaStarface I'm confused, what are the meetings for if she's not working from home?
    via BananaStarface
  • Specialist-Noise-454 Original Poster's Reply School meetings that involve private info
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • No-Court-2969 We seem to live in an entitled world these days. Living with anyone is hard, you have to compromise (imo), most posters want too, because they want a resolution but their flatmates, not so much. I sometimes wonder how these flatmates lived under their parents care, as a mother I drilled 'clean up after yourself & if it needs done, do it' into my child. I also wonder what they'll be like moving in with a partner (most posts seem to be from university students to 30yo - not playing t
    via No-Court-2969
  • Specialist-Noise-454 Original Poster's Reply Funny you say that, I've wondered the same. If it weren't for me, she'd probably choose to live in filth. On top of that, she argues with her significant other on the phone nearly every day (screaming, it's borderline verbal ab e, if not blatant). I wonder how her life will be once she's on her own without someone to guide her. I have my own flaws so I'm definitely not perfect, but I just don't get it.
    via Specialist-Noise-454
  • mindylynx she needs to do those things in her own space like her room not a shared space. tell her you will sign an nda if she insists on using the office lol
    via mindylynx
  • Specialist-Noise-454 Original Poster's Reply Ok wait you're spitting now
    via Specialist-Noise-454

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roommate drama work from home remote work bad roommate living together bad roommates friend drama sharing space roommates
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