Boss changes employee's 10th wedding anniversary plans to a team dinner: 'She actually hugged me and said, "Surprise!"'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Apr 2, 2026 11:00 AM EDT

This woman is trying to figure out how to tell her boss that she ruined a perfectly good anniversary plan by changing everything at the last minute. 

Sorry to say, but this woman has the weirdest boss in the world.

Chances are you've worked at one of those companies that tells the employees that they're all a "family" there. Being close with your coworkers is always a plus, seeing as you spend 40+ hours each week in close proximity with them. But sometimes that closeness can become stifling, and you feel like the people you work with are way too involved with your personal life.

This person shared their jaw-dropping story about what happened when her boss decided to impersonate her, and it left people with tons of questions, which she was happy to follow up on. 

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  • Coworkers celebrate the 10-year wedding anniversary of their coworker and her husband.
    via Getty Images

    Coworkers celebrate the 10-year wedding anniversary of their coworker and her husband.

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Am I wrong for "ruining" the surprise my boss planned for my own wedding anniversary?

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  • Sounds like a solid plan... what could possibly go wrong?

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  • Insane behavior

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  • Why would anyone want to spend time with a dozen coworkers if they could hang out with their beloved spouse instead? Make it make sense

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  • I wanted a private night with my husband. She got really mad and said i was being r ide and difficult after she spent time organizing this.
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  • She even sent out an email to the office saying the party is still on and she hopes i change my mind and stop being a buzzk.
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  • Did this story make your jaw drop or what?! 

    So that is a crazy, crazy boss, and as a few people encouraged her, she should run as fast as possible in the opposite direction. 

    For all that talk of being a family, canceling a couple's special anniversary dinner isn't a very kind thing to do, is it? That's not the type of action that a family member would take, because they know their place. 

    Not only does this boss not know her place, she seems totally delulu. 

  • Let's start here: the boss impersonated an employee, which leads to so many more questions

    FortuneElectronic834 NTJ. Your boss literally impersonated u to cancel a private reservation. That is not family, that is actually insane behavior. I would be talking to HR immediately because pretending to be ur assistant to mess with ur personal life is a massive boundary cross. Do not go to that party.
    via FortuneElectronic834

    In what capacity would this ever be okay for a boss to do? If the boss wanted to throw a party, why wouldn't she just plan something separately? Did she really think that her employee would have a positive reaction to the boss hijacking her 10th wedding anniversary? It's all very cringe. 

  • Naive-Contact-645 Original Poster's Reply I did not even think of it as impersonation at first because i was just so upset about the dinner. But you are right, its actually really creepy that she did that. Im just scared if i go to HR it'll make things worse at work since everyone thinks she's so nice. Im definitely not going though.
    via Naive-Contact-645

  • Can you imagine taking this case to HR?

    NoStretch 1825 Nah, NTJ. Your anniversary isn't a work event. She crossed a huge boundary canceling your plans.
    via NoStretch1825

    That might be the only option left… For whatever reason, the boss is insistent that she's in the right. Imagine if she had to sit down and give a statement to an HR rep about why she thought this was the proper thing to do! I can't imagine that would be a productive conversation for her. But her actions are so out of line that a full investigation should probably be done, just to make sure she's not doing anything weird in any other areas of her job. If she's crossing the line this badly here, just imagine what other things she might be getting away with! 

  • Naive-Contact-645 Original Poster's Reply Exactly! The fact that she called and lied to the restaurant is what creeps me out the most. Like, who even does that? Its not a favor if u have to lie and cancel my own plans behind my back.
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  • ember428 This is actually at the level of creepy!!
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  • Naive-Contact-645 Original Poster's Reply Thats what my husband said too! He's actually worried now because it feels like she's stalking us. Its not just nice boss behavior anymore, its just weird.
    via Naive-Contact-645
  • ObstinateWoman NTJ. Go to HR and let them know what happened and how she's now sending emails about it to the office that depict you as a buzzkill. That's wildly inappropriate and I'm betting HR will see it that way also. Letting it go will only. encourage her to do this to you and other employees so don't get guilt tripped by Susan her work friend that she's really sweet and raising 28 kids, funding 10 parents with medical bills and houses sick elephants in her walkup apt to hide them from poac
    via ObstinateWoman
  • Naive-Contact-645 Original Poster's Reply This is what my husband said too. Im honestly scared to go to hr because she's so close with the higher ups, but that email she sent was the last straw. Being called a buzzkill to the whole office just for wanting a private anniversary dinner is actually insane. Im still shaking just thinking about it. Thanks for this.
    via Naive-Contact-645
  • firmerrata NTJ. Your boss crossed a line canceling your anniversary plans. A surprise isn't thoughtful if it ignores what you wanted and this was your time with your husband, not work.
    via firmerrata
  • Naive-Contact-645 Original Poster's Reply This is what gets me. The fact that she actually called the restaurant pretending to be my assistant is just so creepy to me. Its not even about the dinner anymore, its about how far she went to control my night. I feel so violated. Tysm
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  • That_Bed_4673 Your boss should be embarrassed in front of upper management. What she did is embarrassing. And now she's telling your coworkers that you are a buzzkill? Nah, get HR involved. I hope you can rebook at that steak restaurant. NTJ.
    via That_Bed_4673
  • Naive-Contact-645 Original Poster's Reply Thats what scares me the most. That email she sent basically turned the whole office against me before i could even explain. Tbh im worried that if I go to hr, she'll just find a way to make my job impossible. I just wanted a nice dinner, I did not want all this drama.
    via Naive-Contact-645
  • Satsuki7104 NTJ this is extremely r de and violating of her to just do this without your consent. Who in the world wants to celebrate their anniversary with all their coworkers as well? I can possibly imagine doing a small separate celebration in the office with like a catered lunch and a cake if both OP and her husband worked at the same company but not ruining the actual event they planned. I wouldn't go to her event and seriously consider telling HR about this as it's extremely violating to a
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  • Naive-Contact-645 Original Poster's Reply Thank u. I actually tried calling the steakhouse back right away but they are completely full for the rest of the weekend now. Im so heartbroken. My husband is beyond mad and says he does not even want to look at my phone anymore because of the constant texts from my coworkers. I want to go to hr but Im honestly scared it'll backfire since she's so close with the upper management.
    via Naive-Contact-645
  • katluvsbubbly NTJ. Honestly, I'd be looking for another job because there's no way in h I I'd want to be working with her after this.
    via katluvsbubbly
  • Naive-Contact-645 Original Poster's Reply Im seriously starting to look. Its just so hard because i actually liked my work before this, but after she lied to the restaurant pretending to be me? I dont think I can ever trust her again. Its just so creepy.
    via Naive-Contact-645

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